Child Maintenance/support

Thugscub said:
Men get screwed.
I have not missed a single payment in 12 years.
I have seen my daughter ONCE in that time.
There is nothing one can do.
The courts feel f all for fathers
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fathers now have equal chance of getting the child, but a lot of factors are taken into consideration. i got some advice from a wonderful person here at mybb and from my lawyer. i heard it depends on some of the judges too, some of them are still opinionated and feel that the mother HAS to be the primary care-giver, but a lot of fathers get children now days
 
eish is that what child support is? I always give my parents money as child support.
 
Thugscub said:
Men get screwed.
I have not missed a single payment in 12 years.
I have seen my daughter ONCE in that time.
There is nothing one can do.
The courts feel f all for fathers
Click to expand...

there is something you can do. take your divorce order to the courts and show them that the ex is not allowing you visitation rights. a document will be opened and she will be charged for not adhering to the divorce order. it happened to me. i had every reason not to allow visitation rights but my reasons did not stand in a court of law. i was given a 3 year suspended sentence for not adhering to the divorce order. you need to stand your ground.
 
blunomore said:
I think being unemployed = good cause.
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Not unless the child can prove that they have made every reasonable effort to seek employment. Also a child who is employed with slave wages is more likely to get maintenance as they have made an effort.

Personally I will support my kids but they need to meet me half way.
 
Thugscub said:
Men get screwed.
I have not missed a single payment in 12 years.
I have seen my daughter ONCE in that time.
There is nothing one can do.
The courts feel f all for fathers
Click to expand...

Because maintenance has got nothing, I repeat, GOT F'ALL NOTHING todo with your visitation rights. These are two separate issues. No parent may prevent another parent with visitation even if that parent has not made a single contribution.

There may be reasonable limitations placed on visitations with regards to notice and sometimes a social worker might need to be present.
 
AwTroN said:
Can you really put a price tag on what the person does who is raising your child? The emotional support that is given to your child in your absence? The day-to-day stress that is endured as a result of you being a single parent, raising your child, with only a partial emotional influence from the other partner, and a small monetary expense in turn endured by them?
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Precisely. And if the father (for eg) doesn't want to feel like he is paying for the mother's lifestyle as opposed to the child's, there are other ways of ensuring your kidlet gets what they need. As an example, in lieu of a higher monthly contribution, my ex pays into an education fund for our daughter which will be available for her tertiary education when she is old enough. That works perfectly for me as I have slightly more disposable income (from my own salary) per month because I dont have to put that little extra away each month. It is all going to the same place/person at the end of the day, but both my ex and I walk away with our fears, insecurities and prides intact.

abzo said:
eish is that what child support is? I always give my parents money as child support.
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I think that has more to do with the kind of child in your case than anything else.... :whistle::p
 
Celine said:
there is something you can do. take your divorce order to the courts and show them that the ex is not allowing you visitation rights. a document will be opened and she will be charged for not adhering to the divorce order. it happened to me. i had every reason not to allow visitation rights but my reasons did not stand in a court of law. i was given a 3 year suspended sentence for not adhering to the divorce order. you need to stand your ground.
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I have tried that way, she just ignores the court orders I do not want to put her in jail which is basically what it would boil down to. If I stop payment I will be arrested. So I am FKD.
 
cbrunsdonza said:
Because maintenance has got nothing, I repeat, GOT F'ALL NOTHING todo with your visitation rights. These are two separate issues. No parent may prevent another parent with visitation even if that parent has not made a single contribution.

There may be reasonable limitations placed on visitations with regards to notice and sometimes a social worker might need to be present.
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There are no limitations on my visiting rights. The ex is just a biatch.
 
Thugscub said:
I have tried that way, she just ignores the court orders I do not want to put her in jail which is basically what it would boil down to. If I stop payment I will be arrested. So I am FKD.
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then do it. it's time women stop using kids as pawns in their little mind games.
 
Thugscub said:
I have tried that way, she just ignores the court orders I do not want to put her in jail which is basically what it would boil down to. If I stop payment I will be arrested. So I am FKD.
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Problem is you are LETTING her get away with it. Fck dude.. she will change her tune quickly when she faces jail. She knows you don't do anything (empty threat)... stand up and kick ass.

Edit: Just a quick one. With my brother's divorce. The ex-wife would LOVE to keep the children away from him (she did almost for a year.. she tried) but he bit the bullet and money and took her to court. Cost a pretty penny (she stole his money before she left). She didn't get away with it. Court told her to get her ass in gear and let him see the kids.

Some Woman think they have the power , but men do have rights to kids.. (yes men do get nailed, but some stuff have changed)
 
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Thugscub said:
There are no limitations on my visiting rights. The ex is just a biatch.
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I feel sorry for you. My ex disappeared with our daughter and I could not contact her for two years. Managed to eventually track her down after leaving legal threats with friends and family for her.

Now she regrets it and actually goes out of her way. She is even sending our daughter to me at her own expense next month and begged that I come visit soon. She realized that time lost can never be regained.
 
At 4k I think you're getting off easily. I pay way more than that for my boy (6yrs old though).
 
If you don't know the fathers physical address but have his email, phone number and know where his mother stays, can you still sue him for maintenance for his child?
 
I pay R2 500 for each of my two daughters (12 and 15)
I pay for their medical aid
I pay their schoolfees
I buy their clothes
I buy their gadgets
I pay for their fibre line
I pay for their mobile data
I send them ad-hoc money when they ask.

I pay for every goddamn thing because I do not want them to suffer. I have never told them to go ask their mother for anything. I would rather borrow money from someone if I don't have or ask my MD for an advance against my salary.
 
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blunomore said:
Sometimes the opposite is also true. Mr Blu has adult kids from his first marriage and he had to pay maintenance for them until they get married or earn their own incomes. They are all either married or earning salaries now, yet because he has a big heart, he never reduced that amount. Still paying that over to their mother, without even so much as a thank you from that side. She is one of those who tried to punish him using the tool of money, yet she failed to understand that money is the one thing that matters nothing to him!
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You can cut the kids off when they turn 21.

Just like you can cut off your ex when she gets remarried.

My dad did that to me. 2nd year of University he stopped paying my varsity bills. I had to find a job and quick to cover for the rest of the year, but had to drop out of that college and only later finished my studies.
 
mooks said:
Precisely. And if the father (for eg) doesn't want to feel like he is paying for the mother's lifestyle as opposed to the child's, there are other ways of ensuring your kidlet gets what they need. As an example, in lieu of a higher monthly contribution, my ex pays into an education fund for our daughter which will be available for her tertiary education when she is old enough. That works perfectly for me as I have slightly more disposable income (from my own salary) per month because I dont have to put that little extra away each month. It is all going to the same place/person at the end of the day, but both my ex and I walk away with our fears, insecurities and prides intact.



I think that has more to do with the kind of child in your case than anything else.... :whistling::p
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it could be worse, the father could be asking for a paternity test just cause you left him and wanted to leave him because he was extremely toxic and emotionally abusive towards you, and rather not find a job to help raise the kid, and when he does have a job its a secret to avoid maintenance, but hey, thats just my plate :)
 
I pay maintenance every month for my 2 boys. Age 5 and 2.
I pay medical aid.
I pay school fees. Luckily the older one moved to a new school so one less Curro fee pm.
I pay a % towards the rent of the place their mother is renting.
She used to send me a long ass list of **** she used to buy them and i would then have to pay back half. Luckily she stopped with that.

The stuff below was my own choice and it was an offer I made to her to move back to my town so the kids can be closer to me.
I had to pay her rent in full for 6 months. That's over now. I had to buy her a car. Done. And I had to pay her maintenance for herself for 6 months. Also done now.

We were married out of community without accrual so she walked out of here with fokoll.
 
Latte_Mom14 said:
If you don't know the fathers physical address but have his email, phone number and know where his mother stays, can you still sue him for maintenance for his child?
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Well you can sue the parents. Ironically grandparents can also be held accountable.

Is the father aware that he has a child in the first place? Sounds a bit suspect. Paternity tests may have to be done.
 
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