Closet bisexual

[padjakkels]

How do you cope with this? On the scale of 1 (straight), 5 (bi) and 9(gay), I put myself at 4.

Have this feelings for men, but won't really act on it. As I live in a small town and people talk and you do have a reputation to keep. So I won't get out of the closet anytime soon.

Still single at 37, perhaps because of this, don't know, but I do want to marry a girl and have children...

Any thoughts?

 

[copacetic]

You have a fundamental right to be true to yourself.

Also, the advantage of twice the fish in the sea.

 

[HitmanV]

marriage and children is a lifelong journey, it requires someone who knows exactly what they want and is brave enough to stand up for it

i recommend you travel, go somewhere where you can serve humanity. do something for other people who are in need.

time for some big change in your life buddy

(imo)

 

[STS]

When you say feelings, what do you mean?

My sexual attraction was messed up at an early stage of my life, but given the right person I think i could be romantic and loving with anyone. My sexual attraction is exclusively to young women tho

 

[Ockie]

I have never really understood bisexuality. It is a more complex orientation than straight or gay I guess. I have talked with a few bi men. Some say they treat both sexes the same. So they will fall in love just as easily with a man as with a woman. Some say they prefer sex with a man, but can only love a woman. I find it very confusing but also fascinating really.

Being in your situation and in a small town is hard. I came out to most of my good friends in boarding school in a town of about 5000 people. It was not easy and even though my friends accepted me and loved me, I still felt very much alone (being the only gay in the village .... literally haha)

The sad thing is that there is bound to be someone like you, or a gay man close by, but because of the small town mentality, too scared to make it known and so you dont know about them and they dont know about you. It is sad really.

What I want to say also is, get married if you want, have kids....but please be honest with your partner about it. Hell, she might even be into it There is a profile on one of the gay sites of a man and his wife. The wife likes to watch her husband getting it from another guy. Strange I know, but at least they are honest and open about it. No secrets.

 

[SirFooK'nG]

Genuinely, as a straight male, I am not at all worried about someone's sexual orientation. You judge a person on his individuality and character as a human... not by who he / she loves. Live the life you want, not what others want.

 

[RazedInBlack]

My sexual attraction is exclusively to young women tho

How young are we talking about here?

 

[Electric]

Lol Ockie.
Bigup on the little Britian reference.

 

[Ockie]

Lol Ockie.
Bigup on the little Britian reference.

I could not resist hehe

 

[TofuMofu]

How do you cope with this? On the scale of 1 (straight), 5 (bi) and 9(gay), I put myself at 4.

Have this feelings for men, but won't really act on it. As I live in a small town and people talk and you do have a reputation to keep. So I won't get out of the closet anytime soon.

Still single at 37, perhaps because of this, don't know, but I do want to marry a girl and have children...

Any thoughts?

It is extremely hard to accept yourself, but you have to. Only you need to accept yourself, no one else matters.

I'm gay myself, and I only came out this year at age 29 due to being worried about what others would say etc etc. I even dated a girl last year so that I can be "normal", but there was no attraction. I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her.

After we broke up, I figured, I need to accept myself or forever be alone and unhappy.

This year has been great. I've met a guy that I'm truly mad about and everything is just awesome now

Be yourself. Don't worry about what others say. It is your life and no one can tell you how to live it.

If you want to talk, in private, just PM me. I'd be happy to give you moral support

 

[Nick333]

My first advice would be to get out of the small town and move somewhere were your odds of having the sort of sex life you want are better. I agree with Ockie, if you want a wife and children look for a woman who will be accepting or, even better, into you being bi. There definitely are women out there who are into it. I also find women who like to see their men getting fccked by other guys a bit strange but, not all that strange - having things in common (enjoying getting pounded for instance) is always a good thing.

But, seriously, to find a woman who will accept and even enjoy what you are into you're going to have to be open about it and put yourself out there and living somewhere with more people that is less conservative is going to up your chances a lot.

 

[Ockie]

Oh jinne! Ek sien jy is in Colesberg. Ek was in Victoria Wes. En weet jy wat, ek weet van nog 'n outjie wat van Colesberg af is wat ook gay was toe ek oop skool was. Hy was vriende met een van my vriende op skool. Hy woon wel nou in die Kaap.

 

[Electric]

It is extremely hard to accept yourself, but you have to. Only you need to accept yourself, no one else matters.

I'm gay myself, and I only came out this year at age 29 due to being worried about what others would say etc etc. I even dated a girl last year so that I can be "normal", but there was no attraction. I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her.

After we broke up, I figured, I need to accept myself or forever be alone and unhappy.

This year has been great. I've met a guy that I'm truly mad about and everything is just awesome now

Be yourself. Don't worry about what others say. It is your life and no one can tell you how to live it.

If you want to talk, in private, just PM me. I'd be happy to give you moral support

I wish you'd told me earlier.
There goes the friendship

 

[satanboy]

I know a gay couple (male & female) that married and have children, but still do their own "thing".

He goes to male gay clubs and she to female etc.

 

[Nick333]

How young are we talking about here?

He said women so who gives a fcck?

 

[Nick333]

Having to lie to others about who you are sucks but is sometimes necessary. Lying to yourself is never necessary and always a bad idea.

Some random wisdom for all. Use it don't use it.

 

[TofuMofu]

I wish you'd told me earlier.
There goes the friendship

hahaha

 

[Ockie]

Having to lie to others about who you are sucks but is sometimes necessary. Lying to yourself is never necessary and always a bad idea.

Some random wisdom for all. Use it don't use it.

Did you get that out of a fortune cookie Nick? Be honest now!

Good advice...... and true

 

[Ockie]

Where has OP gone? Did we scare him away? Maybe I should not have said I was from Vic Wes. Maybe too close for comfort for him?

 

[TofuMofu]

Where has OP gone? Did we scare him away? Maybe I should not have said I was from Vic Wes. Maybe too close for comfort for him?

hahaha, he thinks you're a creep especially with the map you linked