Dealing with a bully at work

[AfricanTech]

was going to ask why you not posting in mafia

i cry evrytiem

ROFL

@OP, the behavior you describe constitutes harassment

 

[AfricanTech]

We don't exactly have HR
And quite honestly I don't think the boss will really care.

That makes it much harder to deal with.

Do you work for an informal / small business?

Do you pay PAYE, etc.

I'm pretty sure that you could open a case at the CCMA if the harassment is really getting to you.

Tell your boss you're going to take him to CCMA if he ignores the problem - argue constructive dismissal.

If you ignore him the bullying will get worse and you'll eventually leave.

//makes me furious when I read about this kind of bullying - it's unacceptable //

 

[Electric]

Record him.

Then play the recording back to HR.

Not sure if it is legal...

That is illegal unless you get his consent to record.

 

[Sonic2k]

That makes it much harder to deal with.

Do you work for an informal / small business?

Do you pay PAYE, etc.

I'm pretty sure that you could open a case at the CCMA if the harassment is really getting to you.

Tell your boss you're going to take him to CCMA if he ignores the problem - argue constructive dismissal.

My wife has been down that road... so EPIC FAIL.
The CCMA are reluctant to get involved in things like that.

 

[AfricanTech]

My wife has been down that road... so EPIC FAIL.
The CCMA are reluctant to get involved in things like that.

In more polite terms, your wife tried that route and was not successful so it's not necessarily a viable route.

Could you please suggest, since you have personal experience, something useful that the OP could attempt.

My context is working within an organization that does have proper HR and codes of conduct in place, so I'm not sure what one does when you don't have those mechanisms in place.

 

[LCBXX]

That is illegal unless you get his consent to record.

We are not talking a hearing here. The company seems like a SMME so it should be enough in a managerial discussion.

 

[googoodoll]

That makes it much harder to deal with.

Do you work for an informal / small business?

Do you pay PAYE, etc.

I'm pretty sure that you could open a case at the CCMA if the harassment is really getting to you.

Tell your boss you're going to take him to CCMA if he ignores the problem - argue constructive dismissal.

If you ignore him the bullying will get worse and you'll eventually leave.

//makes me furious when I read about this kind of bullying - it's unacceptable //

Very small company, so yes it is quite difficult.
I just don't want to make trouble. I'm scared if I say something things will get worse. Don't know.

 

[Electric]

That's a valid point.
Just using it to help your story should be fine.

 

[mercurial]

Very small company, so yes it is quite difficult.
I just don't want to make trouble. I'm scared if I say something things will get worse. Don't know.

And sitting back and doing sweet fsck all is better?

 

[RazedInBlack]

And sitting back and doing sweet fsck all is better?

Not very subtle, are we now?

 

[AfricanTech]

Very small company, so yes it is quite difficult.
I just don't want to make trouble. I'm scared if I say something things will get worse. Don't know.

Sounds like you have a poor manager - manager's are supposed to look after their direct reports.

If you feel uncomfortable talking about it to him, write it down and send it to him.

Again, if you continue to accept it, it will get worse.

You have to make it clear to your colleagues where you draw the line otherwise you'll continue to be bullied and made fun of - and that's not a good place to be in.

 

[googoodoll]

Oh never mentioned the guy has long standing relations with quite a few of my family members too...

 

[AfricanTech]

Very small company, so yes it is quite difficult.
I just don't want to make trouble. I'm scared if I say something things will get worse. Don't know.

Is the guy who is bullying you single or married?

 

[AfricanTech]

Oh never mentioned the guy has long standing relations with quite a few of my family members too...

Well there you go - tell your family that he is a jerk and harassing you at work - let them sort the bastid out

 

[Electric]

Oh never mentioned the guy has long standing relations with quite a few of my family members too...

Just tell your uncle to stop being a creep.

 

[ShaunSA]

Kick him in the nuts and say he made a pass at you.

 

[envo]

One thing I've noticed from people like the OP is they subconsciously do stuff that actually portrays them differently to the person (or persons) and actually get people aggravated because of it

Not saying that it is happening in this case. I'm just cautioning that your attitude/body language/way you say stuff could be construed as being aggressive and aggressive people will act out aggressively towards you in that case because they feel you are the one attacking them.

By being conscious of your tone of voice, your facial expressions and body language, you can quickly diffuse most tense situations.

Then again, some people are just *******s and should be treated as such and I would definitely start a list of facts and present them to your boss saying you are working under hostile conditions and you fear for your life and job and think that if nothing is done about the situation a constructive dismissal would be in order so you can continue your life without worry

 

[googoodoll]

Is the guy who is bullying you single or married?

Married.

 

[wizardofid]

Sleep with him. He won't know what to do.

Then tell him you're "late"........

 

[AfricanTech]

Married.

Phone his wife - tell her you think he is coming on to you

Alternatively, tell him publicly (ie with other people you work with around) that you don't like the way he talks to you and he should stay out of your way.

Shame him.