Depression.

One thing about depression that gets to me is Anhedonia. If you look that word up the definition will be something along the lines of "The inability to experience pleasure from activities that are normally enjoyable."

I loved creating physical art and through 3D software. I also loved making electronic music and even shared some of my music many years ago on these forums. I just have zero motivation to get into those things again and I'm struggling to understand why as it was something I spent so much time on and really enjoyed.
 
Well said, Anhedonia is something I’ve struggled with too. You know, going to a concert or some big event where everyone’s dancing, laughing, having the time of their lives… and there you are, standing off to the side, shrugging and thinking, “What the hell is everyone on about?”


I’ve gone to events with friends, everyone genuinely having fun, smiling, doing what neurotypicals (NTs) do. By midday, I broke down. Why does everyone else seem so happy, so full of joy — and here I sit, feeling… nothing? Just meh. What’s all the fuss about?


And then you're seen as dry, humourless, someone who just doesn’t enjoy things. This misconception means we get invited to social things maybe once or twice… and then never again. Because we’re labelled as “buzzkills,” the serious face in the room who “just doesn’t get it.”

It ties deeply into alexithymia too, emotional blindness, difficulty with attachment, and navigating relationships. Being neurodivergent in this world can be so isolating. People often find us blunt, overly direct, socially awkward or cold. From childhood to adulthood, we’ve been told we’re broken, that something is wrong with us.
But that’s so far from the truth.

We just feel differently. We think differently. We process the world in ways that don’t match neurotypical norms. And that difference, it’s not a flaw. It’s you. It’s me. We’re the calm in the storm. We carry clarity and insight, even if it comes with pain.

I’m still learning to embrace that. Still wrestling with the mask I’ve worn for so long that it’s grown teeth… and turned predatory. But I’m trying.

And you’re not alone in this.
 
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Binary_Bark said:
Well said, Anhedonia is something I’ve struggled with too. You know, going to a concert or some big event where everyone’s dancing, laughing, having the time of their lives… and there you are, standing off to the side, shrugging and thinking, “What the hell is everyone on about?”
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I'm curious to explore this feeling of not being able to relate to others having fun. For me I think it's that I have so much in my life that I am unfulfilled in and therefore I can't allow myself to have fun "because I have more important things to focus on that are bothering me" that I constantly cheat myself out of things that should be enjoyable in the moment. Does that make any sense?
 
AnimateX said:
I'm curious to explore this feeling of not being able to relate to others having fun. For me I think it's that I have so much in my life that I am unfulfilled in and therefore I can't allow myself to have fun "because I have more important things to focus on that are bothering me" that I constantly cheat myself out of things that should be enjoyable in the moment. Does that make any sense?
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It makes sense, very much so.
That line was more metaphorical, but also self experience....

So much, so much staked on the shelves, they bend they collapse. It's happened so many times you no longer take notice.
 
Binary_Bark said:
It makes sense, very much so.
That line was more metaphorical, but also self experience....

So much, so much staked on the shelves, they bend they collapse. It's happened so many times you no longer take notice.
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Ok, so the question is, what is missing that we focus so much of our attention on that rather than what is front of us.

For me personally, it's that I'm missing so much of a foundation in life, abusive upbringing, had to take care of family early on, it's become programmed into me that others' well-being takes precedence over my own and I think that's where I'm stuck. Want to live my life now but my life has always been to support others.
 
AnimateX said:
Ok, so the question is, what is missing that we focus so much of our attention on that rather than what is front of us.

For me personally, it's that I'm missing so much of a foundation in life, abusive upbringing, had to take care of family early on, it's become programmed into me that others' well-being takes precedence over my own and I think that's where I'm stuck. Want to live my life now but my life has always been to support others.
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It is because of whom we are neurodivergent people, we process things differently. We've got a more sense of feeling, understanding. The outside world might not understand it. For some reason we tend to feel deeper, understand deeper but have no ability to explain and sometimes express.
Your supporting others are commendable. For me, no one, ostracised from the family, no support, none to give.
Maybe it's why I try to emphasise, understand and do. In hope some day, I'll know.
 
The serious one, the one that almost never smiles. The "******* that never say 'happy birthday on WA'"
Why? I'm going to see the person at the office, I'll do it in person.

Why all the Group WA messages? I don't understand it. If you are going to see the person, do it then.
I'm really struggling to understand this concept of mass social media, self ego boost. In chase of something that means absolutely fvkall
 
TribbleZA said:
Today is particularly hard for my family and I. My son would have turned 30 today.
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Tribble, I am so sorry for the weight of today. Losing someone you love never stops hurting, and days like this can make the pain feel unbearable. Even though he is no longer here in person, he will always be with you and your family in the love you carry in your hearts and the memories you'll keep close. Thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort today.
 
OnlyOneKenobi said:
Tribble, I am so sorry for the weight of today. Losing someone you love never stops hurting, and days like this can make the pain feel unbearable. Even though he is no longer here in person, he will always be with you and your family in the love you carry in your hearts and the memories you'll keep close. Thinking of you and wishing you peace and comfort today.
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Thank you so much. I was blessed to have him in my life for the time I did. He taught me a lot. He was one of the kindest people I know. He was a physics tutor at Tuks and helped so many students get through the work. He really made a difference.
 
Jings said:
Thinking of you @TribbleZA
Life is not the same after losing a loved one/s. Everything after becomes bitter sweet because it's during times of celebrations that we think of them most.
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That is so true. We would have had a big celebration; his friends would have been around him. He was looking forward to this marker, his life was taking off and he was finding his place in this world. It is we who are sad they never did these things - but he is off doing other things, and I am sure he is not concerned about missed experiences.
 
TribbleZA said:
Today is particularly hard for my family and I. My son would have turned 30 today.
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So yesterday I was asking myself, what is the point of all of this. I'm very analytical, and one thing came to mind, which is what is the percentage of my life spent feeling happy, or even neutral vs sad/depressed, and I must say I was forced to disctract myslf from the topic as it made me feel worse.
 
TribbleZA said:
That is so true. We would have had a big celebration; his friends would have been around him. He was looking forward to this marker, his life was taking off and he was finding his place in this world. It is we who are sad they never did these things - but he is off doing other things, and I am sure he is not concerned about missed experiences.
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I'm so sorry you have to endure such sadness. It's not unreasonable for a parent wanting their children to outlive them.
 
Zuner said:
So yesterday I was asking myself, what is the point of all of this. I'm very analytical, and one thing came to mind, which is what is the percentage of my life spent feeling happy, or even neutral vs sad/depressed, and I must say I was forced to disctract myslf from the topic as it made me feel worse.
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Sometimes it helps to step back from the numbers and just focus on the small moments that bring a bit of ease or light, even if they feel tiny in comparison. Those small things matter more than we think. Many of us wrestle with the same kind of spiral, so I really do understand where you are coming from.
 
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