Dilemma

[Alexander the Straight]

So I find myself in a position that I just ca not decide what to do. I welcome any and all comments, opinions, criticism, whatever.

I'm divorced and have been single for the last 5 years. Divorced for 11 years though.

A friend of mine that I used to be quite close to years back, in that we would go out together etc, even when he met his wife, I was there and spent time with them as well.

Fast forward 15 years, the friend, whom I now rarely see or visit is quite ill, and in and out of hospital etc. His wife though has remained in contact with me almost throughout. Never forgetting birthdays and stuff.

There was this one time a few years back when she visited me at home, unexpectedly , and we ended up having wine and just kissing and touching etc.. Nothing more, clothes never came off. Never did that again or even met alone since, but remained in contact.

Now, she's totally wants to hook up, but I feel guilty about pursuing this. There's kids and a terminally ill husband involved. She's also under pressure trying to keep everything together at home.

Would I be helping her and everyone by just comforting/destressing her, or is this something that I should just stay away from. It does feel wrong to me....let that much be clear.

But damn I'm tempted...so very much.
She's like quite hot as well... Slim, tall, terrific personality...

 

[Magnum]

Make it Friday Please, Oh Please already.....

 

[Tabac]

So I find myself in a position that I just ca not decide what to do. I welcome any and all comments, opinions, criticism, whatever.

I'm divorced and have been single for the last 5 years. Divorced for 11 years though.

A friend of mine that I used to be quite close to years back, in that we would go out together etc, even when he met his wife, I was there and spent time with them as well.

Fast forward 15 years, the friend, whom I now rarely see or visit is quite ill, and in and out of hospital etc. His wife though has remained in contact with me almost throughout. Never forgetting birthdays and stuff.

There was this one time a few years back when she visited me at home, unexpectedly , and we ended up having wine and just kissing and touching etc.. Nothing more, clothes never came off. Never did that again or even met alone since, but remained in contact.

Now, she's totally wants to hook up, but I feel guilty about pursuing this. There's kids and a terminally ill husband involved. She's also under pressure trying to keep everything together at home.

Would I be helping her and everyone by just comforting/destressing her, or is this something that I should just stay away from. It does feel wrong to me....let that much be clear.

But damn I'm tempted...so very much.
She's like quite hot as well... Slim, tall, terrific personality...

If you don't pursue this, you'll regret it later on.

 

[Fulcrum29]

Lulz, no.

 

[epah]

Dont do it, You dont want be part of something as messy as this one, Your friend will find out eventually. SHe only wants to hookup because she aint getting any at home from her sick husband. Find yourself a single miss and have your fun.

 

[saor]

The last thing he needs is to find out his friend is fucking his wife.

 

[ArmatageShanks]

A friend of mine.

quite ill, and in and out of hospital etc.

His wife

There was this one time...

Nee fok tjom.

 

[Alexander the Straight]

The last thing he needs is to find out his friend is fucking his wife.

And that is why I have resisted all this time. She wanted to go out a few times and I always made up some excuse.
But I'll be honest and confess that my resistance is weakening

 

[OCP]

Difficult one as the is in a vulnerable state and clearly needs/wants the intimacy with someone she has a connection with.

If you care for her and can see / want a long term relationship then be supportive but keep things uncomplicated for now.
Clearly you mean something to her now - stand by her and in time she will value you even more.

 

[EL'Diablo]

How does she look?

 

[Tabac]

Dont do it, You dont want be part of something as messy as this one, Your friend will find out eventually. SHe only wants to hookup because she aint getting any at home from her sick husband. Find yourself a single miss and have your fun.

She will get laid - Why can't he be the nice guy helping her out ? I'm sure he's friend will be happy that he's keeping his wife happy.

 

[Alexander the Straight]

I haven't been able to meet anyone suitable either, I suppose I'm getting kind of desperate, and this that's there for the taking is becoming more difficult to resist

 

[Alexander the Straight]

How does she look?

Good enough, my friend. I promise you that much

 

[bwana]

You should make a copy of this thread for when she does it to you. Karma being karma.

 

[Moosedrool]

Bros before hoes.

 

[Okty]

There's kids and a terminally ill husband involved.

If these are hers - stay away, or you will end up footing the bill for other people's spawn.

 

[saor]

And that is why I have resisted all this time. She wanted to go out a few times and I always made up some excuse.
But I'll be honest and confess that my resistance is weakening

Then tell her you don't want a hookup or anything like that. Like be explicit about it and leave no room for ambiguity. Fire up Tinder to get your kicks.

 

[Fulcrum29]

I never cheated, getting in on the act, but I did things I regret when I wanted out. Not worth it. Today I am a sensible person.

Besides, married women are all trouble, and it gets worse with women who aren’t married but have been a long time committed.

For all I know, she promised her husband to bring someone home so that he could bliksem someone one last time.

 

[3WA]

Don’t do it while the friend is still alive.

So obviously you need to off the dude.

 

[Polymathic]

Good enough, my friend. I promise you that much

Good enough isn't something worth betraying a friend over IMO but different people see things differently