Divorce just turned VERY ugly

Well your wife doesn't know that you know she's skimming(:)), so why don't you ask that you and her put your gentleman's agreement down on paper, signed and lawyered? Explain that even when you go to finalise the divorce something will have to be down on paper.
 
R13... said:
Well your wife doesn't know that you know she's skimming(:)), so why don't you ask that you and her put your gentleman's agreement down on paper, signed and lawyered? Explain that even when you go to finalise the divorce something will have to be down on paper.
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+1
 
Go to those people who she sent emails to. Take a recorder. Say you worried that you think she is going against her word for some strange reason. Let them spill the beans. You just need 1 person to do it. Use the recording as evidence. those emails you saw are worthless since you did not obtain them legally, therefore recordings would work out much much better.
 
snail said:
Go to those people who she sent emails to. Take a recorder. Say you worried that you think she is going against her word for some strange reason. Let them spill the beans. You just need 1 person to do it. Use the recording as evidence. those emails you saw are worthless since you did not obtain them legally, therefore recordings would work out much much better.
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i'll remember that, thanks
 
Can't be said enough... Lawyer up fast. Then, if you think you're angry now... Eish! Just walk away from heated discussions, try not fight in front of the little one, for God sakes tell your parents and close friends, you'll need them and seriously, change the sleeping arrangements... Seriously.
 
snail said:
Go to those people who she sent emails to. Take a recorder. Say you worried that you think she is going against her word for some strange reason. Let them spill the beans. You just need 1 person to do it. Use the recording as evidence. those emails you saw are worthless since you did not obtain them legally, therefore recordings would work out much much better.
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Recordings will only be allowed in court if the other party agreed and knew about the recording. So if you record someone without their knowledge, it will not be allowed in court.
 
Neck_Monster said:
even though we were gettign divorced she wanted it to be friendly and civilised, and now she goes and does this
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Crowley said:
My ex did exactly the same with regards to wanting to go behind my back but I had it in writing where she agreed that he must stay by me. If you have that then I think it is a good time to go see a lawyer.
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web said:
This is why I got a lawyer on the first day my wife left me. They say all these things at the start but then they get advice from their friends and relatives and it always ends up with lawyers.
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Everything has to be in writing. Keep all the receipts of all the stuff you buy for your child because she'll use ANYTHING to get back at you. They will ALWAYS use kids and money to make you miserable. They were designed like that. Convince me otherwise.

Do everything by the book. Get everything in writing and signed. Get a lawyer as well, though I hate involving lawyers.
 
her abusing drugs ... well if u can prove that .... it will be a point in your corner...
custody for men is very difficult... esp in this country ...
Im sure u have a good case though
 
snail said:
Go to those people who she sent emails to. Take a recorder. Say you worried that you think she is going against her word for some strange reason. Let them spill the beans. You just need 1 person to do it. Use the recording as evidence. those emails you saw are worthless since you did not obtain them legally, therefore recordings would work out much much better.
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I disagree... you can still use the emails.

You can present them as evidence but she can deny those emails are real. Then all you have to prove us that one of them is real and this will show that she is lying . Because of this she most likely wont deny the validity of the emails.

Good luck man. I think the situation sucks and I hope it works out for you.
 
felix786 said:
custody for men is very difficult... esp in this country ...
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It is just as easy for the man to get custody than it is for the woman. Show that you are stable as well as the primary caregiver and it is a pretty easy.
 
i do feel your pain and i have been there personally.

Neck_Monster said:
Catch up:

Many of you know about my divorce and that I'm still going through it. I agreed to go through with it because she said that I could be the primary guardian(because he is very attached to me) and that is all I wanted, was to know that my son was safe and that he could visit his grandparents that worship him more often.

So I haven't even told my family that we're gettign divorce yet. I've hid it from them so that she could come and visit them one last time and say goodbye before we went ahead, because she wouldn't be very popular with them after this.

NOW:

Since that we've gotten back, her and her mom have been whispering a lot and "going for walks" which I already knew is trouble because this is how she acted when she was chasing other guys. I put a keylogger on the computer to get her password and read her messages.

She is now secretly planning to get legal aid behind my back and is telling everyone she dicusses this with that I am a "sociopath" that is dangerous to be around her son. Some of you are also familiar with my history, however it was all consentual and I have posts and messages to prove it.

My question, how much weight do emails and messages have when using the law? I have messages of her confessing to having an affair, I have messages of her admitting to taking drugs, I have messages about her insane beliefs too which I don't want my son exposed to 24/7.

I am stressed, because i know that normally fathers dont' get custody, but i am the only one who gets up with him at night when she sleeps, i bath him every night, when she is struggling with him, she calls me, he looks for me all the time aroudn the house, i go out with him on weekends just him and me while his mother hunts cock on the internet. he runs past her at the creche to jump into my arms, when he hurts himself he yells for daddy, not mommy.

I don't want to stop her from seeing him, but i don't want him living with her family, where they tease him and act like he is a 18 year old. What can i do here that will help me? I'm desperate. I'm going to a lawyer today[/QUOT


iv been there and do feel your pain, have a look at this cause you need to know that you are not the only father who is going thru this. there are plenty of fathers who are going thru what you going and some of them are even worse off than you www.f4j.co.za and good luck. oh family advocasy court can also help you and fathers now have equall rights to the kids.
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@Neck_Monster sorry to hear about what your going through. Been there but not as bad as yours and can say the bumpy road has only just started.

I would love to write hundreds of lines to tell what to do and not to do but I would just tell the reality is that no matter what the circumstances where that lead to a divorce, its never a nice thing to go through. The best thing that happened to me during my divorce was getting divorce counselling (for myself). It gave me strength and a clear head to make the right decisions as until then I just made stupid ass ones.
 
Well, is it not true to say that both of you have ammunition against the other one? She is sexually promiscuous and into strange beliefs, while you suffer from a paraphilia and intend manufacturing pornography. There are no saints here.

You say you can prove her "transgressions". Can she prove yours?

Does that make either of you a bad parent? Probably not.

IMO, the court would look at whether there is anything in either of your lives that would make you a bad parent: abusing drugs or abuse of your child would make the court take a dim view of your parenting skills.
 
Can he suggest that she gets tested for drugs because he has a 'suspicion' she has used drugs before and maybe still is?
 
LMFAO & Cock Hunting.... Gezuz dude, I almost chocked on my breaki.

Sorry, don't mean to laugh at your situation, just that piece you wrote. How can you sleep next to someone who is doing all this behind your back? I could never do that, I want that person as far away from me as possible. I really feel for you dude. I mean my son is only 16 months old & if a woman threatened to take him away I don't know what I would do. The guy is the most important thing in my life & I imagine you feel the same way.

You really are in a ****ty position. All you can do is spend the extra $$$ & get the best divorce / custody lawyer you can afford.
 
Zyzzyva said:
Aren't you the "satanism is a worthwhile philosophy" sex addict who wanted to make porn movies? <-- if i got the wrong guy i apologize.
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And he wants custody of a child LOL!

Better hope the soon-to-be-ex doesn't find those posts.
 
Will the courts allow you to use the information you have, given the means by which you've acquired it? It's a fine line, mate
 
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