Divorce question

Fuma said:
Surely I can buy the stuff that the child needs instead of sending money?
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NO, As custodian she get's to decide what is important for "her" child and how to spend it. You have to pay her the alimony, anything else she may decide to give it to the child or sell/refuse it. It also does not officially count as child support unless you keep all bills and receipts to prove that you paid these costs in lieu of the child's requirements when disputes arise and they will. I can only relate what my elder brothers experienced when they divorced, one more than a few times. The one brother signed of his children as the mother would drink herself in a stupor when the alimony was paid in her account and the children thus benefited nothing of it. Now that his children are themselves grown up's they associate themselves more with the father than with their mother.
 
blunomore said:
No.

It depends on the circumstances, the level of education and the employability of the party asking for alimony.
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It remains a right and the rest will be decided by a judge should a dispute arise.
 
JungleBoy said:
Does a man also have that right?
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Yes.

At the end of the day it depends on who has come out on top after the divorce. If there is a vast disparity between the couples the one spouse will be required to ensure that the poorer spouse is close to the position that he/she enjoyed during the marriage, taking into account each of their means and earning potential. If the "poorer" spouse remarries, the support terminates. There are a number of other considerations as well. If the spouse is 22 with a MBA, the maintenance will likely be less. If the spouse is ill or has no real prospects of ever being able to fully support his/herself then the amount will likely be high.
 
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blunomore said:
It is not a right. That implies that a person can have it under any circumstances. Not so. Re-read my post.
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A person has a right to claim maintenance. He/she may end up with an extra R100 or even have his/her application refused entirely. But it is still a right and cannot be waived.
 
Fuma said:
So me and wife are divorcing. We went to the magistrate's court together and submitted the forms. We were married in COP but she didn't want to claim anything that I bought (House, car, furniture, etc) and she didn't want spousal support. We signed everything and submitted the stuff to the sheriff together and I got everything done there.

We have a son (18 months old) together. We agreed that she should have custody of him and I will be supporting him financially (Med aid, food, clothes, etc). Everything went peacefully. We are still waiting for everything to be confirmed and and.

Can she then change her mind and claim for spousal support though she has a job that is not paying so badly? I find spousal support unfair, more especially if you can prove that she should be able to support herself.

I'm hoping it does not get nasty from now on.
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So you submitted the documents to the court ,,after about 2 weeks the documents should be sent from the court to you,so that you can take them to the shriff to be served on your SO ??
Once served by the sheriff you will have a court date (in the summons the agreement will be spelled out )
Only the person asking for the divorce needs to appear in court if it is uncontested.
So if she stands up in court on the appointed day and asks for some thing other than what is agreed then ask for an adjournment and get a lawyer.
 
seted said:
A person has a right to claim maintenance. He/she may end up with an extra R100 or even have his/her application refused entirely. But it is still a right and cannot be waived.
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Of course it can be waived. If we then agree to call it a right, please note that any right can be waived by the party involved.
 
seted said:
If you have a minor child and are married in COP get an attorney. Based on what I have read so far, your divorce is going to be bounced by the magistrtate.

Do you have a settlement agreement? I think this will be done after seeing the Family Advocate
Have you seen the Family Advocate? Will see them in a month time.
Have you agreed to a specific sum in support? Yes
What if the child requires more? I suppose she'll have to write to the courts that the child's maintenance amount should increase with valid reasons
What if she pays for some items and asks for compensation? Same as above
Will the kid be on a medical aid? Which one? How comprehensive? Yes my medical aid
What school will the child be going to? What if you differ? That's tricky
What if she re-marries and moves away how will you visit the child? Another tricky one.
If she has a child by another man won't it bother you that she might be supporting the other child with your cash? It will bother me, but that shouldn't increase my monthly contribution

If you answer any of the above questions with the words "I assume" or "I think" or " "I hope" then you are in for 2 decades of stress. Good luck.

FYI spousal maintenance is a right. You/she cannot contract out of it.
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Hopefully when we meet the family advocate, everything will be ironed out. I need to save R20k for an attorney, though that money could have gone to my child schooling, food, clothes, etc.
 
blunomore said:
Of course it can be waived. If we then agree to call it a right, please note that any right can be waived by the party involved. .................
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..............and by legal agreements, that is the crux ;)
 
blunomore said:
It is not a right. That implies that a person can have it under any circumstances. Not so. Re-read my post.
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seted said:
A person has a right to claim maintenance. He/she may end up with an extra R100 or even have his/her application refused entirely. But it is still a right and cannot be waived.
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Are you both in the legal proffesion?
And how will your advice impact on your respective clients?;)
 
FNfal said:
So you submitted the documents to the court ,,after about 2 weeks the documents should be sent from the court to you,so that you can take them to the shriff to be served on your SO ??
Once served by the sheriff you will have a court date (in the summons the agreement will be spelled out )
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That part has been done already. We both went to the sheriff's office and signed all the docs. It was done in one day.
Only the person asking for the divorce needs to appear in court if it is uncontested.
So if she stands up in court on the appointed day and asks for some thing other than what is agreed then ask for an adjournment and get a lawyer.
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Will I be notified if she asks for some thing other than what is agreed?
 
Fuma said:
So me and wife are divorcing. We went to the magistrate's court together and submitted the forms. We were married in COP but she didn't want to claim anything that I bought (House, car, furniture, etc) and she didn't want spousal support. We signed everything and submitted the stuff to the sheriff together and I got everything done there.

We have a son (18 months old) together. We agreed that she should have custody of him and I will be supporting him financially (Med aid, food, clothes, etc). Everything went peacefully. We are still waiting for everything to be confirmed and and.

Can she then change her mind and claim for spousal support though she has a job that is not paying so badly? I find spousal support unfair, more especially if you can prove that she should be able to support herself.

I'm hoping it does not get nasty from now on.
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Haven't read all the comments, so forgive any repeats:
- Which Mag Court? Not all have jurisdiction over divorces... It used to be that only High Courts could deal with divorces, but this was extended to Regional Courts in 2010, if I'm not mistaken.
- IIRC (and it's been a while since I did this, so get it confirmed by a lawyer currently doing it) maintenance for the spouse is to be finalised with the settlement for the divorce - amount can be varied later, but it cannot be instituted where there wasn't one to start with.

Go with Getafix's suggestion - get a lawyer to sort it all out and make sure it's done correctly.

blunomore said:
The same attorney for both parties? I think not.
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Quite common, actually. If there is nothing in dispute, it's a lot easier (and cheaper).
 
Fuma said:
That part has been done already. We both went to the sheriff's office and signed all the docs. It was done in one day.

Will I be notified if she asks for some thing other than what is agreed?
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If she is appearing then you better go there to just to make sure she does not add or change any thing .
 
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Fuma said:
Will I be notified if she asks for some thing other than what is agreed?
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Yes.
The two of you must agree on a settlement.
If you don't, the two of you will both have to appear in court and state your cases that the judge can decide what is best for you, your spouse and the kid. You do not want to go that route, under any circumstances.
Settle.
Once again settle between the two of you.
Otherwise you are going to spend money on a soupie that not a single person will watch.
 
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