Do i handle death the wrong way?

Stillie said:
my gran passed away this morning at 1am. she had cancer in her spine, legs and liver. When i found out i balled my eyes out for a min then sucked it up and went on with my day. Off to work as normal, nothing changes just keep going?

Is it "wrong" that i dont take a day to myself to let go like other people do? am i heartless because of this.

To me it feels like i dont handle death correctly?
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I didn't cry when any of my grandparents died, and they are all gone :/
 
Kilgore_Trout_Redux said:
That is an utterly meaningless plithy saying. Why exactly can't you mourn while taking care of your responsibilities to the living?
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Did you mean pithy?

Because the mourning can consume some people's lives, thereby rendering them incapable of taking care of their own affairs,and of their living loved ones.
 
Gonna be honest here - it depends on the relationship to the person.

I love my mom dearly - if she dies, my whole world will change.
If my sister dies, I won't even be at the funeral.
 
I think that just like with romance, movies have set our expectations of what to do and expect. The reality is that it is not like that at all. People don't have to cry to the sky with a long wailing "Noooooooooooo"! They don't have to be bed ridden for days, to "prove" to the world that they felt affection towards the deceased. They don't even have to shed a tear.

We are very much equipped to handle death with very little impact to our daily lives. Historically speaking. If the death of someone close to you, Set you in-doors for days on end. Then you would be a burden to the tribe at large. Especially when those tribes were small and death was constant. You risked your family starving if you "stopped working". And when work involved very dangerous situations, those individuals that could not refocus on the task at hand, were often more likely to fall foul of those dangers.

A prolonged hiatus or moping period is a very new thing compared to the way that you have grieved. Yours is far more normal and right as far as our ancestral psychology is concerned. Don't let Hollywood and society convince you that you didn't do it right.
 
level / type / length of mourning would be directly influenced on your relationship with the person. you may have been close to your gran at one time, but over the years you drifted apart.

i'm pretty sure you would mourn a lot differently if you lose a partner or child. i know i did.
 
Give yourself a few days for the feels to come.It also depends on your relationship with the person.
 
SoulTax said:
I think that just like with romance, movies have set our expectations of what to do and expect. The reality is that it is not like that at all. People don't have to cry to the sky with a long wailing "Noooooooooooo"! They don't have to be bed ridden for days, to "prove" to the world that they felt affection towards the deceased. They don't even have to shed a tear.

We are very much equipped to handle death with very little impact to our daily lives. Historically speaking. If the death of someone close to you, Set you in-doors for days on end. Then you would be a burden to the tribe at large. Especially when those tribes were small and death was constant. You risked your family starving if you "stopped working". And when work involved very dangerous situations, those individuals that could not refocus on the task at hand, were often more likely to fall foul of those dangers.

A prolonged hiatus or moping period is a very new thing compared to the way that you have grieved. Yours is far more normal and right as far as our ancestral psychology is concerned. Don't let Hollywood and society convince you that you didn't do it right.
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did not know this... i did how ever leave early on monday as i couldnt focus, picked up my wife and we spent the afternoon together chilled and watched movies. did the same yesterday, thank the good lord i have an amazing boss that let me take the day and half off! was good to relax with my SO and just watch crap! kept my mind off everything. Today its all in the past so its back to work as normal! Thanks for all your kind words guys! appreciate it!

Also thanks a mill for making me realise i am not the only one in the world to mourn as i do, i really did feel like i was the only one.

thanks again!!!
 
Stillie said:
did not know this... i did how ever leave early on monday as i couldnt focus, picked up my wife and we spent the afternoon together chilled and watched movies. did the same yesterday, thank the good lord i have an amazing boss that let me take the day and half off! was good to relax with my SO and just watch crap! kept my mind off everything. Today its all in the past so its back to work as normal! Thanks for all your kind words guys! appreciate it!

Also thanks a mill for making me realise i am not the only one in the world to mourn as i do, i really did feel like i was the only one.

thanks again!!!
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Oh, and my condolences man.

I went through a point in my life where I felt the same way. Wondering if I was the massive exception. Even going so far as to think that I might have some light level of Psychosis or something. I still wonder about that, but for different reasons now :D
 
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