Do you Fap?

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seems mcd is the fap master.... fapsutra ?
 
The "Danger Fap"

A tactic often practiced by students and fans of Celine Dion. The "Danger Fap" is an attempt to have a full fap and get cleaned up in a situation where getting caught is very likely. The "Danger Fap" is most often a race against time but is also an exercise in stealth and Kleenex technique. Examples of this are:

  • In a lift between floors
  • While in the act of sexual intercourse
  • Whilst your mum is making you a cup of tea in the kitchen
  • Whilst your wife/girlfriend is in the bathroom
  • At a Celine Dion concert
  • On a roller-coaster
  • Behind the pulpit during a sermon
  • In a confession booth
  • At a red light
  • During a conference
  • During an exam
  • While in the back seat of a car full of people
  • Whilst giving a speech to a large group of people
  • At a wedding (especially if you are the groom, bride, priest etc. etc.)
  • During a Christmas dinner
  • In between orders at McDonalds during your shift
  • In a car while your friend and his mother have gone into tesco to pick up some groceries.
  • Standing behind a girl who isn't your girlfriend, while having a conversation with her (very hard, because usually you talk face to face)
A danger fap should not be undertaken by the weak hearted, pregnant, those on medication, asthmatics, anyone with a pacemaker and especially not those who do not possess a Kleenex multi pack (unless you are willing to swallow).

The most extreme form of danger fapping involves crying out "MUM!" at the top of your voice whilst in bed, and whacking one out (or at least trying to) before she runs into the room. This has been known to end mother son relationships and in several cases involve social services. So please do not undertake a danger fap lightheartedly as the consequences could be severe.

An alternative form of danger fapping involves lighting a large bomb and trying to masturbate completely before the bomb explodes and kills you. This is extremely dangerous -- but the terror of the bomb leads to very thrilling orgasms.
 
The "Danger Fap" sounds like training for 1 minute men. :erm:
 
MickeyD said:
The "Danger Fap"

A tactic often practiced by students and fans of Celine Dion. The "Danger Fap" is an attempt to have a full fap and get cleaned up in a situation where getting caught is very likely. The "Danger Fap" is most often a race against time but is also an exercise in stealth and Kleenex technique. Examples of this are:

  • In a lift between floors
  • While in the act of sexual intercourse
  • Whilst your mum is making you a cup of tea in the kitchen
  • Whilst your wife/girlfriend is in the bathroom
  • At a Celine Dion concert
  • On a roller-coaster
  • Behind the pulpit during a sermon
  • In a confession booth
  • At a red light
  • During a conference
  • During an exam
  • While in the back seat of a car full of people
  • Whilst giving a speech to a large group of people
  • At a wedding (especially if you are the groom, bride, priest etc. etc.)
  • During a Christmas dinner
  • In between orders at McDonalds during your shift
  • In a car while your friend and his mother have gone into tesco to pick up some groceries.
  • Standing behind a girl who isn't your girlfriend, while having a conversation with her (very hard, because usually you talk face to face)
A danger fap should not be undertaken by the weak hearted, pregnant, those on medication, asthmatics, anyone with a pacemaker and especially not those who do not possess a Kleenex multi pack (unless you are willing to swallow).

The most extreme form of danger fapping involves crying out "MUM!" at the top of your voice whilst in bed, and whacking one out (or at least trying to) before she runs into the room. This has been known to end mother son relationships and in several cases involve social services. So please do not undertake a danger fap lightheartedly as the consequences could be severe.

An alternative form of danger fapping involves lighting a large bomb and trying to masturbate completely before the bomb explodes and kills you. This is extremely dangerous -- but the terror of the bomb leads to very thrilling orgasms.
Click to expand...

Gotta try that one soon! :p
 
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