Engagement Ring

iMORT3rnAL said:
I actually thought of this a few minutes ago and I agree with you. Even though my mother gave me permission to do what is needed, she is not yet able to think clearly after what happened. They were married for 28 years, keeping the ring that set that in motion has more value than what she realizes.
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Pretty sure she is thinking clearly, we just don't realise what a Mom is prepared to give up for her children, especially if it is the only way she can help you.
 
Colin62 said:
You're going to have to stop reading my mind like that while I'm typing. :)




She's making a sacrifice for you - it's what parents do. Given the small amount of money you'd get for the metal in the ring, it makes far more sense to keep it around. And she'll really appreciate the gesture. Actually both your mom and gf will appreciate it.
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:)

Thanks, I now know what needs to be done ;)

Polly101 said:
here's my story

Found the ideal ring from deBeers after not being happy with any local companies (Brown's included - too commonly available)

Found a fabulous local jeweller / diamond merchant who gave us amazing advice and then had the ring made to my specifications and from a choice of about 5 stones.

We went with white gold because platinum is too "grey" for my skin colour and to highlight the colour of the stone

The saving from going to a jeweller and diamond merchant allowed us to get a much better and bigger stone (just comparing price vs a Brown's etc) (also the ridiculous exchange rate & mark up vs buying from DeBeers!)

I'd keep mom's ring and maybe wear as a dress ring unless the diamond is super awesome, in which case reset it (or if SO hates the style)

I think selling the ring for "scrap" is not an option imo
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Well even though it isn't my SO's style. She said she will wear it with a smile if I give it to her. But I know what style she really wants, so I will get it for her.
 
Polly101 said:
We went with white gold because platinum is too "grey" for my skin colour and to highlight the colour of the stone
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Problem is six months from now it won't be white gold any more and more like copper.

Which means you need to have it redipped/coated at least once a year.


Won't ever make that mistake again.
 
Slight thread hijack - Is it acceptable to use stones other than Diamonds for engagement rings? My GF has a thing for Emeralds and I've seen some very, very nice rings in that vein.
 
Icarium said:
Slight thread hijack - Is it acceptable to use stones other than Diamonds for engagement rings? My GF has a thing for Emeralds and I've seen some very, very nice rings in that vein.
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Apparently yes, I heard of quite a few people that did it recently.
 
Just a small thought. While design is kind of important, for girls its more about the passion that a guy puts in. Sure they like to show it off, but it's more about the story about the lengths the guys have crossed to make it happen. I personally bought the ring, doesn't matter about the cost, and made her walk over two kays, through bushy reeds, an overflowing river, her swearing away at me .... just to get to the prize. And she didn't even know. 10 years later and she still talks about it.

It's about presentation.
 
I asked the question with a cooldrink ring that was on top of the previous cans. My girlfriend accepted without any questions asked.
I gave her free reign in picking any ring she liked, she opted for a R5K ring with a light blue topaz and 2 small diamonds from Browns.
Remember that you will spend lots more keeping the relationship alive, the ring is just marks a next phase in the relationship. Do not bankrupt yourself trying to afford a ring and have no money left to pay for the wedding and honeymoon.
 
After receiving a lot of good advice here, thank you, I decided it would be best to only use the diamond in my mother's ring. The diamond will be replaced by a cubic zirconia and I might even put the ring on a gold chain before giving it back to her. She really wanted us to have the ring, but I think she will appreciate the fact that she can keep it and know she was also able to contribute to the engagement ring.

I also discussed this with my girlfriend, and she thinks it's a very good idea.

I have one more question. When I find a jeweler who can design the ring, I will probably have to leave the diamond with them for a while. How do I know I will get that same diamond back from them? Can I somehow get a certificate for the diamond before I take it? It might sound silly, but better safe than sorry.
 
iMORT3rnAL said:
After receiving a lot of good advice here, thank you, I decided it would be best to only use the diamond in my mother's ring. The diamond will be replaced by a cubic zirconia and I might even put the ring on a gold chain before giving it back to her. She really wanted us to have the ring, but I think she will appreciate the fact that she can keep it and know she was also able to contribute to the engagement ring.

I also discussed this with my girlfriend, and she thinks it's a very good idea.

I have one more question. When I find a jeweler who can design the ring, I will probably have to leave the diamond with them for a while. How do I know I will get that same diamond back from them? Can I somehow get a certificate for the diamond before I take it? It might sound silly, but better safe than sorry.
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I have heard of some jewellers making a 'map' of inclusions of the diamond. They make you look at the diamond through the magnifying scope thingy to verify the 'map'. But I'm almost certain you would be able to get the diamond graded somewhere and get a certificate
 
Roxi_B4b3 said:
I have heard of some jewellers making a 'map' of inclusions of the diamond. They make you look at the diamond through the magnifying scope thingy to verify the 'map'. But I'm almost certain you would be able to get the diamond graded somewhere and get a certificate
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That sounds like the perfect solution. Thank you :)
 
iMORT3rnAL said:
I have one more question. When I find a jeweler who can design the ring, I will probably have to leave the diamond with them for a while. How do I know I will get that same diamond back from them? Can I somehow get a certificate for the diamond before I take it? It might sound silly, but better safe than sorry.
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You have to ask yourself, is the fact that you (and I) are unable to tell the difference between diamonds - that we are vulnerable and dependant on experts to tell the difference for us - not indicative of just how ridiculous this industry and diamond-culture is? If a dishonest jeweler is potentially able to deceive us (by swapping our diamonds for one worth less) without you or I even realising, why are we willing to pay so much for this jewelry in the first place?
 
Viva said:
You have to ask yourself, is the fact that you (and I) are unable to tell the difference between diamonds - that we are vulnerable and dependant on experts to tell the difference for us - not indicative of just how ridiculous this industry and diamond-culture is? If a dishonest jeweler is potentially able to deceive us (by swapping our diamonds for one worth less) without you or I even realising, why are we willing to pay so much for this jewelry in the first place?
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Because chicks dig diamonds and guys dig chicks and their cats :whistle:

Also stick an expensive price tag on something and people will flock to buy it.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Problem is six months from now it won't be white gold any more and more like copper.

Which means you need to have it redipped/coated at least once a year.


Won't ever make that mistake again.
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Have to get the setting checked every year anyway, and its part of the process to keep it looking sparkly

have to say though I don't think it needs replating every year - its been that long and still looks nicer than my Pt dress ring
 
ShaunSA said:
Because chicks dig diamonds and guys dig chicks and their cats :whistle:

Also stick an expensive price tag on something and people will flock to buy it.
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Truer words have not been spoken.

But it's sad, really. It is a little silly that

1) woman sometimes take it as the norm that they have to receive expensive jewellery before getting married to a guy. If an expensive diamond ring is seen as a requirement (which probably often is the case), a premium is put on the relationship. Rather unromantic if you ask me.
2) men take it as the norm that they absolutely need to fulfil the rather materialistic needs of their future fiancées.

Of course, all of this happens within the culture most of grew up in - there are many forces at play: social expectations, peer pressure, romantic ideals, and the power of the diamond industry's advertisement campaigns.

The above, of course, does not necessarily have bearing on a situation where a woman does not require/demand an expensive diamond ring, and the groom-to-be lovingly chooses to buy an expensive ring anyway as a token of his love. This is not what I'm talking about. Also, this does not necessarily have bearing on people who buy modest engagement rings, remaining within the boundaries of their financial means.

I'm just afraid many of us rather thoughtlessly take part in a ritual in which De Beers emerge as the ultimate victor.

Sorry for my rather pessimistic/bleak view on this.
 
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Viva said:
Truer words have not been spoken.

But it's sad, really. It is a little silly that

1) woman sometimes take it as the norm that they have to receive expensive jewellery before getting married to a guy. If an expensive diamond ring is seen as a requirement (which probably often is the case), a premium is put on the relationship. Rather unromantic if you ask me.
2) men take it as the norm that they absolutely need to fulfil the rather materialistic needs of their future fiancées.

Of course, all of this happens within the culture most of grew up in - there are many forces at play: social expectations, peer pressure, romantic ideals, and the power of the diamond industry's advertisement campaigns.

The above, of course, does not necessarily have bearing on a situation where a woman does not require/demand an expensive diamond ring, and the groom-to-be lovingly chooses to buy an expensive ring anyway as a token of his love. This is not what I'm talking about. Also, this does not necessarily have bearing on people who buy modest engagement rings, remaining within the boundaries of their financial means.

I'm just afraid many of us rather thoughtlessly take part in a ritual in which De Beers emerge as the ultimate victor.

Sorry for my rather pessimistic/bleak view on this.
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I am fortunate to have met a girl who is practical. A while back she told me she would marry me even if I propose with a R200 ring, because it is me she wants :)

Except for 1 vehicle, neither of us has debt. So it was her idea to not go overboard with the ring or the wedding. That way we can buy furniture without creating debt.

I am the one who chose to budget a bit more because I would like to give her something that she can be proud of for the rest of her life.
 
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When I got engaged my mom gave her diamond and some gold. We used her diamond and sold the gold to the jeweller to buy white gold from them. The jeweller set the stone in my fiances design and she was very happy with it (she did say though she didnt need a ring but I wanted to give her something). Also saved quite alot of cash going this route.
 
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Its a historical thing to provide surety to the wife (who in those days didn't work)

It offered her the opportunity to sell the ring if the husband absconded to cover living expenses

That's why they used to recommend a value equivalent to 3 months salary

(that's what I read anyway)

These days both partners are usually working so its a bit outdated
 
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