Feeling like a failure?

C

CDP

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Hi.

I seem to be experiencing some depression the last couple of months regarding my career or more importantly my income vs. my age status. I am a system admin at a mining company, am 32 years old and earn a gross monthly salary of R32000. The majority of my friends, all in different industries, earn more (and some much more) than me and they are either my age or younger.

This makes me doubt my future and career choice and I am feeling as if though I am a failure. I was wondering (hoping) whether there are some of you who have also experienced these thoughts / emotions and how you dealt with it. I know I should not compare myself to others but it is frustrating to see them being able to afford a house, children, new cars etc. and I am battling to make ends meet.

Any advice will be appreciated and I apologize for the depressing topic.
 
R32 000 Gross and you are depressed.

Are you out of your ****ing mind.
 
Did you come on here to make some people feel bad about what they earn so you can feel better about what you earn?

Go away, stop being a cry baby!
 
OP- if you're struggling to make ends meet despite what is quite a decent income, then you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle. Evidently, the company you keep plays a large factor in that.
 
Make use of compound interest then you'll be happy again.
 
etienne_marais said:
Don't compare yourself to others to such an extent.
Click to expand...

if only people would stop doing that.

A friend of a friend of a friend of mine loves to wallow in self-pity especially when he's drunk.

just pisses me off as he kills the buzz of the whole company immediately.
 
Maverick Jester said:
OP- if you're struggling to make ends meet despite what is quite a decent income, then you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle. Evidently, the company you keep plays a large factor in that.
Click to expand...

+1

change your lifestyle
32k is alot of money
 
Maverick Jester said:
OP- if you're struggling to make ends meet despite what is quite a decent income, then you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle. Evidently, the company you keep plays a large factor in that.
Click to expand...

Exactly! I've had to re-evaluate my lifestyle a lot, and I am able to barely support myself, my wife and a girl on that type of salary. Go and see a psychiatrist if you need someone to hold your hand during this transition period. I am hoping at best, that the load shedding will end, that Eskom won't get another increase before next year, that I qualify for a pay increase this year, that petrol price don't increase again before next year April, that the rand won't get worse than it's R12 low, before the next financial year. When you hope/ wish for smaller (realistic) things, you will actually feel much better if you're disappointed on those things. :)
 
Ryansr said:
Exactly! I've had to re-evaluate my lifestyle a lot, and I am able to barely support myself, my wife and a girl on that type of salary. Go and see a psychiatrist if you need someone to hold your hand during this transition period. I am hoping at best, that the load shedding will end, that Eskom won't get another increase before next year, that I qualify for a pay increase this year, that petrol price don't increase again before next year April, that the rand won't get worse than it's R12 low, before the next financial year. When you hope/ wish for smaller (realistic) things, you will actually feel much better if you're disappointed on those things. :)
Click to expand...

dude I hate to break it to you but all the stuff you mentioned is going to be worse before june.
 
CDP said:
Hi.

I seem to be experiencing some depression the last couple of months regarding my career or more importantly my income vs. my age status. I am a system admin at a mining company, am 32 years old and earn a gross monthly salary of R32000. The majority of my friends, all in different industries, earn more (and some much more) than me and they are either my age or younger.

This makes me doubt my future and career choice and I am feeling as if though I am a failure. I was wondering (hoping) whether there are some of you who have also experienced these thoughts / emotions and how you dealt with it. I know I should not compare myself to others but it is frustrating to see them being able to afford a house, children, new cars etc. and I am battling to make ends meet.

Any advice will be appreciated and I apologize for the depressing topic.
Click to expand...

Energy goes to where you focus on. So if you only focussing on the bad things, it will stay bad. If you however rather focuss on how to get what you want (yes, what YOU really want, not what others have), then things will start happening.

So for your depression, the only question you ever ask yourself is "How? How can I do what I want to do?" You will start getting the answers that you need and start taking action on it. PM me if you want to talk further.
 
Just think that you earning more than most of the population ever will in the lifetime...
 
It doesn't matter whether R32k is a lot or not - it matters that you feel worse because you earn it.

You can't peg your self esteem to a number like that. It will do you no good. Inevitably, some people make more and some people make less. That is how it is. You will meet people in your life that make more money than you.

First, does that make them better people? No, probably no.
Second, does that mean they are happier people? Again, no, happiness is optional.

If you aren't happy with how much you earn now, why not? What part of making R32k makes you unhappy? How much would it take you for you to feel happy? Do you think your friends would care?

If it does make you unhappy, then think about what you can do to change it. Sitting and moping will not. Improving your career prospects will take money, time and hard work. And you may even end up being less happy once you are finished - there are no guarantees.

You know how had CEOs work right?
 
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