Thank you. I doubt my mother would tolerate a live-in caregiver. Plus I doubt if anyone would be able to put up with her, as well-trained as they may be. My Mom is impossible, will accuse the person of thieving etc.
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Forcing someone into care?
- Thread starter bokdrol
- Start date
Sensorei
Executive Member
We went through this with my dad about 5 years ago before he passed away. He had 2 strokes which left him unable to drive or walk properly, but he insisted that he could cope on his own. It was terrible having to sit him down and have an intervention to give him his options, but it had to be done. We had 2 carers do 8 hour shifts, and his domestic worker of the last 12 years was there for the other 8 hours of the day. It wasn't necessary to get a live-in carer, but it did cost a small fortune.
It was worth the money for him not to feel like he was being thrown away to rot in a home.
It was worth the money for him not to feel like he was being thrown away to rot in a home.
Sorry to hear about your mom, bokrol.
Very difficult to help someone who doesn't want it. Before going the legal route, perhaps if you can find a professional that can talk to your mother and convince her to get full time care and give the kids power of attorney over financial affairs. Perhaps her biggest fear is growing old and going to a care facility confirms those fears.
Very difficult to help someone who doesn't want it. Before going the legal route, perhaps if you can find a professional that can talk to your mother and convince her to get full time care and give the kids power of attorney over financial affairs. Perhaps her biggest fear is growing old and going to a care facility confirms those fears.
supersunbird
Honorary Master
Then unfortunately you are going to have to have to go to court to have her declared unfit. Its not a nice process and for now she will be angry but long term it is the best solution for her.. Really sorry you have to go through this 
Surv0
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Take her keys way, show her where the kitchen and medicine cabinets and TV are...
Drivers' license December 2016, but it is a long time between then and now.
I will take over kitty. I am concerned that she is not able to give him the care that he deserves.
Dolby
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I'd never give up my cat!
cupcake
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My mother has now had diagnoses of Alzheimers confirmed. The neurologist said that she needs fulltime care and must stop driving at once. My mother is adamant she will not move into a home nor will she stop driving.
Is there some legal way that the family can force her hand and also take over her financial affairs, e.g. a court order to determine her incompetent? It sounds cruel, but she is a danger to herself and others and very vulnerable.
I am at my wits' end.
I am sorry to hear about your Mom, speak to a social worker at the Alzheimer's association they are experts and will be able to guide you through the process.
http://www.alzheimers.org.za/
Whatzmyname
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Ask her if she can at least go tour some places? Tell the staff beforehand about your mom's fears so that they can be prepared. Show her the facilities and all the recreational activities she can do on the premises without having to drive. Try to convince her that way because now she has this image of a small dark room with a caregiver beating her up (probably saw that Carte Blanche episode).
She can also have a chat to other residents etc. Perhaps that will help with her fears...Its a start at least.
She can also have a chat to other residents etc. Perhaps that will help with her fears...Its a start at least.
OMB
Mountain Man
I'm currently in the same boat, busy exploring options. What a lot of people in this thread don't seem to understand is that it's impossible to reason and rationalize with someone that's lost the ability to be reasonable and think rationally. It's a hard road and will need some tough decisions.
Indeed. She will agree on one thing and then tomorrow she won't remember what she agreed to. It is impossible to reason with her. I have taken her to a counsellor at Alzheimers SA, her home doctor, the neurologist, the reverend's wife. They have all spoken to her, she agrees, and then the next day she can't remember a thing and digs her heels in. It's very sad really
cupcake
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Indeed. She will agree on one thing and then tomorrow she won't remember what she agreed to. It is impossible to reason with her. I have taken her to a counsellor at Alzheimers SA, her home doctor, the neurologist, the reverend's wife. They have all spoken to her, she agrees, and then the next day she can't remember a thing and digs her heels in. It's very sad really
It sucks when they are so cooperative with everyone except the family, they agree and then when its just you its another story or cant remmember...frustrating. I am not yet at this advanced point but there have been some things I have had to do which were very unpleasent, tuff love I am afraid.
Neoprod
Honorary Master
wants to hit on old ladies but too afraid to admit it...it's ok, this is a safe space, PB.
Neoprod
Honorary Master
I would prefer it if they took me to the vet and put me down. We really need voluntary euthanasia in SA.
