Forcing someone into care?

Bokdrol, daar's daai aftree oord by Hoerskool Die Wilgers... Hy lyk heel oraait.

Wil jy nie vir ouma 'n toer daar vat nie?
 
Bokdrol, daar's daai aftree oord by Hoerskool Die Wilgers... Hy lyk heel oraait.

Wil jy nie vir ouma 'n toer daar vat nie?
 
OP,

I know of people where the adult children simple took the mother's car keys away.....

The care part:
Can be done through a court order, and is a loooong and painful process. best to speak to legal experts.
 
Thanks Bumbledore for your useful advice. I have since seen a lawyer to start the curatorship process (will cost me R50 000 :wtf:). But my mom suddenly changed her mind and agreed to go into care, then after securing her a place in a suitable home, she changed her mind. However, as these things go, matters are coming to a head as a neighbour has contacted us and said she is very confused and doesn't seem to be taking care of herself. My sister has taken her to a doctor and try to see if she can be admitted to an institution for a few days to get her stable. She is still driving by the way. So this weekend, I am going to help my sister force her into the home, remove her car and take her cat. Going to be very ugly, but this situation cannot be left any longer. Wish us luck.
 
bokdrol said:
Thanks Bumbledore for your useful advice. I have since seen a lawyer to start the curatorship process (will cost me R50 000 :wtf:). But my mom suddenly changed her mind and agreed to go into care, then after securing her a place in a suitable home, she changed her mind. However, as these things go, matters are coming to a head as a neighbour has contacted us and said she is very confused and doesn't seem to be taking care of herself. My sister has taken her to a doctor and try to see if she can be admitted to an institution for a few days to get her stable. She is still driving by the way. So this weekend, I am going to help my sister force her into the home, remove her car and take her cat. Going to be very ugly, but this situation cannot be left any longer. Wish us luck.
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Heart breaking situation , my sympathies .
 
After reading all comments and suggestions, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, how very interesting this whole scenario is.

I mean,if I had to put myself in your moms shoes,keeping in mind I don't know the severity of her alzheimers, would I remember what happened the previous day? Maybe parts thereof or nothing at all? How did I end up being in an old age home?

It feels like the hardest part falls on you as your mom more than likely wouldn't remember a single thing about what happened a week later.

That being said, perhaps getting her to write down on what was agreed upon with her signature at the end would be a more viable solution, at least then you won't have to keep repeating everything over and over before being able to move ahead.

That's just my thinking from your moms perspective and what would help me move forward.

Best of luck!
 
Purply said:
After reading all comments and suggestions, I'm sitting here thinking to myself, how very interesting this whole scenario is.

I mean,if I had to put myself in your moms shoes,keeping in mind I don't know the severity of her alzheimers, would I remember what happened the previous day? Maybe parts thereof or nothing at all? How did I end up being in an old age home?

It feels like the hardest part falls on you as your mom more than likely wouldn't remember a single thing about what happened a week later.

That being said, perhaps getting her to write down on what was agreed upon with her signature at the end would be a more viable solution, at least then you won't have to keep repeating everything over and over before being able to move ahead.

That's just my thinking from your moms perspective and what would help me move forward.

Best of luck!
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She has moments of lucidity but she generally doesn't remember things the next day, or even an hour later. She also mixes up her meds, which is another reason for putting her into a home. They will monitor her meds. There is no logic or rational way of dealing with her. She will not listen to reason. You can spend hours explaining something and she will agree. The next day, she will remember nothing.
 
the movie 50 first dates comes to mind - can you not write something down for her to read, or make her write down how she feels and what she agreed to?
 
Polly101 said:
the movie 50 first dates comes to mind - can you not write something down for her to read, or make her write down how she feels and what she agreed to?
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That relies on the faculties of reason being active, which they are probably not, people in that condition will flatly deny they wrote it, deny they agreed at all, denied even having the conversation etc.

Eventually you have to make executive decisions, if you have the necessary authority, that is the only way the action needed to move in the best way forward will be taken.
 
Polly101 said:
the movie 50 first dates comes to mind - can you not write something down for her to read, or make her write down how she feels and what she agreed to?
Click to expand...
She simply denies everything. She signed for a debit order for the home a week ago. She denies it, says we forged her signature because we want to steal her money.
I will also have to take her beloved cat away .......:( But he is not getting proper care. He is old, so I will probably have to have him put down. He is terribly attached to her, poor baby. :cry:
 
Why do you have to put down the cat? Cant you take care of the cat? Its not the cats fault your mom has Alzheimers.
 
Whatzmyname said:
Why do you have to put down the cat? Cant you take care of the cat? Its not the cats fault your mom has Alzheimers.
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I have 7 cats I am responsible for. I simply cannot afford another. And my mom's cat hates my cats.
 
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