Forgotten anniversary

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Palimino said:
O swarve and debbenair one, I am not rejecting good advice, I am rejecting YOUR advice. Did you know that the way to draw an rsehole is with an asterisk? I imagine you with an asterisk for a mouth. Do they call you Malema Mouth?
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So have you done anything yet?
 
AcidRaZor said:
I treat *******s like *******s, you're one. So am I. Get used to be single my friend. There's a reason why women divorce
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Acid, maybe you overlooked the fact that he has been married for 30yrs and you cannot get anyone. He must have done something right for 30yrs and forgetting one anniversary is not the end of the world, it happens and if it was such a HUGE thing you make it out to be then a lot more people would be divorced today. People forget, it happens but that does not mean he is a d**s. Forgetting a anniversary does not lead to divorce.

I think you are overreacting and insulting his character does you no good from where I'm standing ;) Peace.
 
Palimino i have very little experience but my motto is "honesty is the best policy". Not being honest is just going to cause crap down the line, say to your wife you are sorry and that it totally slipped your mind( after all we all forget sometimes, yes even woman!)

@acid, do you really have to swear soo much?

@polimino i believe that if your wife has been with your for 30 years she would accept an apology.
 
ponder said:
Acid, maybe you overlooked the fact that he has been married for 30yrs and you cannot get anyone. He must have done something right for 30yrs and forgetting one anniversary is not the end of the world, it happens and if it was such a HUGE thing you make it out to be then a lot more people would be divorced today. People forget, it happens but that does not mean he is a d**s. Forgetting a anniversary does not lead to divorce.

I think you are overreacting and insulting his character does you no good from where I'm standing ;) Peace.
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It's not the first time he forgot btw. Not trying to point out that you probably skimmed that part? Also, did you read the part where I apologized first and then proceeded?

Peder said:
@acid, do you really have to swear soo much?
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I was told by the mods that I can't bypass the profanity filter, so I choose not to and thus ******** everything. I can't think of one "swear" that might have popped through, apologies if it had, and corrupted your young innocent mind

genetic said:
+1

Why all the aggression Acid? There's no need to attack him on a personal level.
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Marriage is quite personal. If he didn't want to get personal. He wouldn't have posted. Now I have to admit, I got quite irate with him (irate, not angry) as I can't fathom the idea how a man, married for 30 years, can't give a crap to remember his own 30th year anniversary, stays married.

Now I did answer your question "Why all the aggression Acid?" in one of my previous posts. Honestly. Like a man. So yes, it bugs the living crap out of me why he deserves someone and I don't. Me. Person who would have remembered something as simple (and momentous) as a 30 year anniversary.

Which then makes me wonder what else he forgets. Birthdays? Special Occasions?

Which then makes me wonder how he treats her in general. Is she just someone he *had* to marry because he was at that point in his life that it "made sense" or did he in fact love her?

Now remember, we're talking not just about him, but about her too. Imagine how she must feel when he forgets something as simple as the date they got married? Never mind he probably forgets his kids' birthdays (if she doesn't remind him constantly) or their first kiss/date... how they met... stuff like that.

Life is in the details. You show appreciation towards your SO without words. You show them you love them. You show them they're important to you. You don't tell them these things...

And "being too busy" to remember (or the reason to "forget") is hardly an excuse when it comes to the above.

I'll admit, I don't know everything. Hell, I'm still figuring out string-theory... but I know that I'm going crazy trying to come up with 1 way she must feel that is NOT heart breaking.

Emotional scars lasts a lot longer than physical ones, I'd rather have him hit her physically than let him do what he did.

And remember, he is the one rejecting MY advice of organizing a romantic dinner (because according to him a myriad of things can go wrong to spoil everything) and buying her a gift to then SHOW her he didn't forget... even though he forgot on the day and then get ready to apologize that he's late in remembering.

I can't see how he can reject THAT advice. Which annoyed me so much to think that someone as daft as that who can't even *think* that those plans will work with a LITTLE effort on his part and how he can stumble along life like this and just pretend like he didn't hurt anyone... ignorance is not an excuse either.

Sure, it may not lead to divorce because this woman is obviously very committed to him (or the relationship). But he's not showing any signs of trying to feel bad or make up for the fact that he screwed up at all? Sighting 18 year old immature nonsense like "but something will probably go wrong and it won't work" or thinking he should lie to her somehow and then what if someone finds out... then spouting bull about how his other married friends would then hate him for raising the bar on romantic evenings???!

I'm sorry but that just GETS to me...

And as I typed that last sentence I just realized the reason he'd rather spend his time online might probably be for the porn. Spending time in front of a PC while you have stuff to sort out with the SO leads me to believe that. And I'd love him to prove otherwise.

My heart goes out to this woman. She must feel so hurt.... and can't figure out why he doesn't care for her anymore (and would most probably figure it is the porn). To her she feels like her life might be over already so that's the only reason she's sticking with him...

I don't know. People who deserves a loving caring life partner seem to go without while guys like *this* go forth and multiply. Idiocracy in the making
 
^^ Do you even have a girlfriend acid? I seem to remember you propositioning Dixie recently in an 'I'm joking haha....but am I really' kinda way so I'm guessing not.
 
cerebus said:
^^ Do you even have a girlfriend acid? I seem to remember you propositioning Dixie recently in an 'I'm joking haha....but am I really' kinda way so I'm guessing not.
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I'm not sure which part you skipped over. I suggest reading again. ty
 
I think that if it wasn't an anniversary as epic as a 30th (Congrats by the way.) he may have been able to grovel/buy himself out of it. Unfortunately those are about the only tools you have available as I see it.

As it stands I can only wish you good luck. You'll probably get through it but I see this being used as argument fodder for the next 30.

Acid, chill dude. Some of us just have issues when it comes to remembering dates. I wouldn't read too much into it. I doubt that it's got nothing to do with taking anyone for granted.
 
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To save reading the whole thread i'm just going to assume no unless you state otherwise.


The point is people who have no children have 1000 opinions about our child. People who have had children have no opinions and a lot of sympathy. Marriage is not about grand romantic gestures. The only reason you think it is, is because you aren't married. It's about caring for one another day after day normally.
 
cerebus said:
To save reading the whole thread i'm just going to assume no unless you state otherwise.


The point is people who have no children have 1000 opinions about our child. People who have had children have no opinions and a lot of sympathy. Marriage is not about grand romantic gestures. The only reason you think it is, is because you aren't married. It's about caring for one another day after day normally.
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Ex-freekin-actly - Anniversaries arent nearly as important as the 365 days that fall between them.
 
In all fairness the occasional grand sweeping gesture to remind her that you do still think she is special does go a long way.
 
cerebus said:
To save reading the whole thread i'm just going to assume no unless you state otherwise.


The point is people who have no children have 1000 opinions about our child. People who have had children have no opinions and a lot of sympathy. Marriage is not about grand romantic gestures. The only reason you think it is, is because you aren't married. It's about caring for one another day after day normally.
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bwana said:
Ex-freekin-actly - Anniversaries arent nearly as important as the 365 days that fall between them.
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Yes, but remembering something simple as a 30th would have done him way more good than a grand gesture.

anyway...
 
Yeah it's pretty weak forgetting a 30th anniversary... But it happens in marriage, you lose sight of events. So long as your core relationship is strong it's ok..that's what is primary. The thing is SHE also forgot. My wife would have been throwing hints for months, I could never have forgotten it.
 
cerebus said:
Yeah it's pretty weak forgetting a 30th anniversary... But it happens in marriage, you lose sight of events. So long as your core relationship is strong it's ok..that's what is primary. The thing is SHE also forgot. My wife would have been throwing hints for months, I could never have forgotten it.
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That's true, but I'm drawing from my experience with my mom and my grandma and what they did in these situations. Especially when it's a big event. (and from several other female friends/family). But obviously human observation doesn't count :rolleyes: does it?

Maybe american sitcoms AREN'T derived from real life fo-pa's :eek: My world has just been shaken ;)

Point is, he forgot this previously as well. Women love testing men, especially like this. Some women (like your wife) would throw hints several months beforehand, because they're excited and is trying to figure out what you have planned (that's a great indication of a solid relationship IMO)

And others, who have been "wronged" before, will test to see... especially with the big 3 oh. If you will forget or not. That's why she didn't hint to anything and also just pretended she forgot.

Might be she really forgot, but I highly doubt it. There's a very low percentage of women who will forget something big as their wedding day. Because let's face it. It was their day ;)

Anyway, I'm tired. People are ignorant to the point of just being stubborn. Some half-read because their need to comment on something without the full picture (or comprehension of a post) is greater than that of actually doing the former.

So now I bid you guys adieu... or as Cartman would say: Screw you guys I'm going hhooooooome
 
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