Funniest LAN rants you ever saw

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Osiris85

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What is the funniest rant you ever saw at a LAN?

I'll start:

1 of the funniest thing I ever saw was a few years ago at someone's house, we were set up in the 1 room and the others in another room through an archway. We couldn't see them and they couldn't see us. We played COD2 and I was quite good in my day. I made a habit of sneaking up on people all through the map and melee attack them. I did it to the one guy and all of a sudden I just saw a keyboard, mouse and speakers fly against the wall at the archway :D.

Another one:

We had a LAN in a buddy's garage and my 1 friend ( well known for loosing his cool in a game ) tried to snipe me in COD 2. It hit me but didn't kill me, so I hopped around, aimed and gave him a headshot with my M1 garand. He flipped and smacked his keyboard with buttons flying. The room was silent for a few minutes and we picked the keys up and gave it to him. I picked up the + key and told him "Be a bit more positive man" :D
 
Osiris85 said:
I picked up the + key and told him "Be a bit more positive man" :D
Click to expand...

lol, good one.

mine isn't really a "gaming" type lan story, but at the old company I used to work for, I noticed the secretaries spent a LOT of their time playing solitaire. So I wrote a small program, and over the network redirected the solitaire short cut to my program instead. Basically what it did was open up a window that said something along the lines of according to article xyz it is forbidden to play games during office hours, and if this window is not closed immediately, a message will be forwarded to management... I then had a timer running down on the screen from 15 seconds.

I disabled the X button, instead placing a close button at the bottom of the screen. the catch was that as soon as their mouses moved over the button, the button shot across the screen from one side of the window to the other.

After 15 seconds the window closed and that was the end. I tell you what, there was pandemonium in that office. The poor women were almost in tears. they even called tech support to bail them out lol

but one of the best ones was a friend at college. they were doing a basic computer course to get everyone up to speed so some of those dudes were really clueless. anyway their computers in the lab were arranged in rows. So this friend took a seat at the back of the class and installed one of those remote access programs on a students pc in front of him, then kept watch. As soon as the dude moved to save his work, my friend would shut down the guys pc, causing him to loose everything. Eventually, after so much frustration, the student called the lecturer over, and as the teacher approached, my friend opened up some porn on the guys computer. He said it it was the funniest thing watching the mad scramble to the power outlet lol
 
hmmm, I'm notorious for being a sore loser, and as such, when I lan, my one friend keeps on egging me... So one day, we were playing Far cry 2 multiplayer, and then I saw him, I scoped (was a sniper) and just before a shot I slid down the mountain, and since the gun "disappears" when you slid down slopes, I couldn't do anything, and then he turned around (due to the noise my sliding made) and he subsequently killed me... and then tuned me how amazing his reflexes are, and didn't stop on how awesome his skills are. So I left the game, packed up my pc and left the lan... I was that pissed off at his snarking remarks.
 
ave said:
lol, good one.

mine isn't really a "gaming" type lan story, but at the old company I used to work for, I noticed the secretaries spent a LOT of their time playing solitaire. So I wrote a small program, and over the network redirected the solitaire short cut to my program instead. Basically what it did was open up a window that said something along the lines of according to article xyz it is forbidden to play games during office hours, and if this window is not closed immediately, a message will be forwarded to management... I then had a timer running down on the screen from 15 seconds.

I disabled the X button, instead placing a close button at the bottom of the screen. the catch was that as soon as their mouses moved over the button, the button shot across the screen from one side of the window to the other.

After 15 seconds the window closed and that was the end. I tell you what, there was pandemonium in that office. The poor women were almost in tears. they even called tech support to bail them out lol

but one of the best ones was a friend at college. they were doing a basic computer course to get everyone up to speed so some of those dudes were really clueless. anyway their computers in the lab were arranged in rows. So this friend took a seat at the back of the class and installed one of those remote access programs on a students pc in front of him, then kept watch. As soon as the dude moved to save his work, my friend would shut down the guys pc, causing him to loose everything. Eventually, after so much frustration, the student called the lecturer over, and as the teacher approached, my friend opened up some porn on the guys computer. He said it it was the funniest thing watching the mad scramble to the power outlet lol
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ok so people in the office are looking at me funny, so we're on a roll here :D

I remember in college the head of the institute was busy giving a presentation to the heads of Rossing Uranium mine in Namibia ( top management types ). We were outside having a smoke break and some breakfast before going back in to LAN COD2.......I mean study......when I looked through the window and at that moment the screen fills with popups of porn and goat porn, farmhouse bitches and whatnot.

The dude nearly shat himself trying to cover the screen projected on the wall he even stretched his jacket open, standing on his tip-toes trying to cover it up, but it showed on his back instead! :D

While standing, he tried to throw stuff at the projector to turn it off like his wallet and car keys. One of the manager ladies gave a huge shriek and fainted!
 
scotty777 said:
hmmm, I'm notorious for being a sore loser, and as such, when I lan, my one friend keeps on egging me... So one day, we were playing Far cry 2 multiplayer, and then I saw him, I scoped (was a sniper) and just before a shot I slid down the mountain, and since the gun "disappears" when you slid down slopes, I couldn't do anything, and then he turned around (due to the noise my sliding made) and he subsequently killed me... and then tuned me how amazing his reflexes are, and didn't stop on how awesome his skills are. So I left the game, packed up my pc and left the lan... I was that pissed off at his snarking remarks.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA!

My friend also strips his moer in a game and if he ever killed me, he would open up his thompson and empty the mag on my corpse. While he is shooting, I would quickly respawn and he is still looking at my body, when all of a sudden a grenade falls in front of him, by the time he turns around he sees me ducking and boom! He's dead.

All you can hear across the room "Sal iemand asseblief net opstaan en vir daai klein k*nt gaan bliksem asseblief!" :D :D :D
 
We had a LAN a few years back in the days of CS, the first part we copied movies and stuff then later we kicked off the games.

After the first few games we took a smoke break for a bit. One of the guys decided not to join the games after the break... it was fine as now there were even amounts of players.
Half way through a rather hectic game of CS one of the guys starts complaining about the lag. Our heads all pop up with suggestions about all the things that might be causing it, then the guy sees that the guy who sat out is watching a porno, he then recognises the porno as one of his own. The obvious conclusion is that they guy is playing the movie across the network the other dudes computer instead of copying it first....

"Hey dude ! Stop it, I'm getting lag !!!"

The response:

"**** you... I'm getting hard !"

Weird... but funny.
 
So we had a chap who gamed with us a few years ago, who was always complaining about camping and people ganging up on him. Small COD2 maps with 8 players tend to result in a lot of crossfire - but *somehow* he always managed to be in the centre of the firefight, even if it was grenades :D

Needless to say, he didn't play with us for long ;)
 
The friend I mentioned was playing Need for Speed:Most Wanted, a game notoriously known for pissing people off, and when he lost a race for the 11th time, his explanation was that he had to think of a word sufficient enough to portray how pissed off the game made him, an abbreviation to the word as the word alone will not satisfy his rage.

He slammed his keyboard and screamed "HIERDIE GAME IS SSSSSSSSUPER PEOS!" <---- just unjumble the words :D
 
Osiris85 said:
The friend I mentioned was playing Need for Speed:Most Wanted, a game notoriously known for pissing people off, and when he lost a race for the 11th time, his explanation was that he had to think of a word sufficient enough to portray how pissed off the game made him, an abbreviation to the word as the word alone will not satisfy his rage.

He slammed his keyboard and screamed "HIERDIE GAME IS SSSSSSSSUPER PEOS!" <---- just unjumble the words :D
Click to expand...

I have the same feeling when playing CODMW2 with lag. :o
 
At the one office I worked at I had a remote desktop program that could also send custom error messages, I then sent the sales rep error messages all day.Shutting down her browser pages speadsheets with error ID 10 T occured please reboot user etc,till eventually I sent a error Blonde Error Message. She freaked out ,screaming ,"How does it know I am blonde?" man after that I pack up laughing I near fell on the floor.

At the same office to annoy our boss we to a PC Speaker and a 12v UPS Battery and connected them so the speaker then gave off a high pitch whine taped it up so it you could just hear the buzz then hid in the bosses office. He got so upset he stormed out his office. I've never see anybody turn that red before. We quickly removed it before he came back, and gave it to his son to play with.And then when his father came back and saw his 3 year playing with it he swatted him.Shame poor kid got the blame. :)

During one Counter Strike Lan game i found a bug with my gforce 2 card and a certain driver version when I Alt-Tab'ed and came back in to the game the walls were see-through so I could wait and as soon as the guy steped round the corner Boom Headshot. It was pretty fun, they couldn't figure out how I'd gotten so good al of a sudden. After they found out I was force to upgrade my Drivers :)
 
Years and years ago I was addicted to dungeon keeper.

It got to the point where when I LAN'd with others I could set up my defences so well I only needed to go check on my dungeon every 15 minutes or so.

Really irritated my buddies when they were losing to me and I was sitting in the lounge watching tv.

I did get beat doing this, last time I left my pc in a multiplayer game.
 
Oh yeah at one LAN a few years ago one of the guys was being a total A$$, so just before the other team showed up we'd flash bang him and run away leaving him blind and normaly dead.
After a few round of that he packed up went home. :)

And one year our clan was challeneged by another clan whom we called the tiddlywinks cause they were younger than us, this annoyed them but not as much as when we taught them what flashbangs and granades are used for.We ended up only using knifes and pistols agaist them and this just made them angier. :) ah good times!!
 
Last edited:
GforceD said:
At the one office I worked at I had a remote desktop program that could also send custom error messages, I then sent the sales rep error messages all day.Shutting down her browser pages speadsheets with error ID 10 T occured please reboot user etc,till eventually I sent a error Blonde Error Message. She freaked out ,screaming ,"How does it know I am blonde?" man after that I pack up laughing I near fell on the floor.

At the same office to annoy our boss we to a PC Speaker and a 12v UPS Battery and connected them so the speaker then gave off a high pitch whine taped it up so it you could just hear the buzz then hid in the bosses office. He got so upset he stormed out his office. I've never see anybody turn that red before. We quickly removed it before he came back, and gave it to his son to play with.And then when his father came back and saw his 3 year playing with it he swatted him.Shame poor kid got the blame. :)

During one Counter Strike Lan game i found a bug with my gforce 2 card and a certain driver version when I Alt-Tab'ed and came back in to the game the walls were see-through so I could wait and as soon as the guy steped round the corner Boom Headshot. It was pretty fun, they couldn't figure out how I'd gotten so good al of a sudden. After they found out I was force to upgrade my Drivers :)
Click to expand...

That explains where you got your name. :D
 
I used a Program called "Ghost control" once, on my cousin when he was lanning at my house..
whenever he left the room, I would use the program that I installed on his PC - you can basically record mouse/keyboard actions and run it at a scheduled time

so i'll record me going into his explorer, looking at his files, going into cmd, typing stuff in notepad like "I'm watching you, your computer belongs to me, noob" and so on..

when he would come back, we would play a game - suddenly he jumps up, saying someone is controlling his PC - the mouse and keyboard movements started going off IN-GAME
After he saw the messages come up, etc, he thought it was a hacker!

he would restart his PC, nothing - it would still do it and it couldn't be me, cause i'm standing there next to him while all this hacking stuff is going on, lol


was the funniest thing ever, I highly reccomend installing ghost control on someone's PC and recording something, and then schedule it to perform those actions again later on...
 
GforceD said:
Oh yeah at one LAN a few years ago one of the guys was being a total A$$, so just before the other team showed up we'd flash bang him and run away leaving him blind and normaly dead.
After a few round of that he packed up went home. :)

And one year our clan was challeneged by another clan whom we called the tiddlywinks cause they were younger than us, this annoyed them but not as much as when we taught them what flashbangs and granades are used for.We ended up only using knifes and pistols agaist them and this just made them angier. :) ah good times!!
Click to expand...

Lol it annoys people when before the round starts and everyone can move, I drop a flashbang. When playing in the dark, all you see is everyone's screen turn white and the white flash on their faces and you see them running against the walls
 
I remember hosting a LAN back in the day when SATA didn't exist and IDE was how you hooked up your hdds. Anyway...my best friend always ran his PC without the cover on - so you'd see all his cables etc haphazzardly connected in his chassis. We were in the middle of a game when I noticed that one of his IDE cables was actually ON fire. Burning plastic IDE cable of death. So I in a panic shouted at him to "HIT THE POWER QUICKLY". And then came his serious, no-joking, relaxed reply:

"Hang on boet, I have to shut my computer down properly."
 
Keeper said:
I used a Program called "Ghost control" once, on my cousin when he was lanning at my house..
whenever he left the room, I would use the program that I installed on his PC - you can basically record mouse/keyboard actions and run it at a scheduled time

so i'll record me going into his explorer, looking at his files, going into cmd, typing stuff in notepad like "I'm watching you, your computer belongs to me, noob" and so on..

when he would come back, we would play a game - suddenly he jumps up, saying someone is controlling his PC - the mouse and keyboard movements started going off IN-GAME
After he saw the messages come up, etc, he thought it was a hacker!

he would restart his PC, nothing - it would still do it and it couldn't be me, cause i'm standing there next to him while all this hacking stuff is going on, lol


was the funniest thing ever, I highly reccomend installing ghost control on someone's PC and recording something, and then schedule it to perform those actions again later on...
Click to expand...

I had this screensaver that looked like a BSOD.

I put it on a friends pc at startup. When he boots up, it would go to BSOD ( the screensaver :D ). He thought something was wrong and it would be fine when he moved his mouse. I told him to run a scandisk and defrag his drive. He opens his box, checks the cables, reboots and .......BSOD. He re-installs drivers,meanwhile I'm sitting there snickering like a little bitch, and he is starting to panic. He reboots his pc, goes to windows setup and right before his finger hits F8 to format his drive, I stopped him and told him it's just a screensaver
 
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