Funniest LAN rants you ever saw

LOL! This is the best thread in the land!

Osiris85 said:
I had this screensaver that looked like a BSOD.

I put it on a friends pc at startup. When he boots up, it would go to BSOD ( the screensaver :D ). He thought something was wrong and it would be fine when he moved his mouse. I told him to run a scandisk and defrag his drive. He opens his box, checks the cables, reboots and .......BSOD. He re-installs drivers,meanwhile I'm sitting there snickering like a little bitch, and he is starting to panic. He reboots his pc, goes to windows setup and right before his finger hits F8 to format his drive, I stopped him and told him it's just a screensaver
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niftyshorts said:
I remember hosting a LAN back in the day when SATA didn't exist and IDE was how you hooked up your hdds. Anyway...my best friend always ran his PC without the cover on - so you'd see all his cables etc haphazzardly connected in his chassis. We were in the middle of a game when I noticed that one of his IDE cables was actually ON fire. Burning plastic IDE cable of death. So I in a panic shouted at him to "HIT THE POWER QUICKLY". And then came his serious, no-joking, relaxed reply:

"Hang on boet, I have to shut my computer down properly."
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:D:D
 
At rAge last year, someone had a shared writable folder called "please put pron here".

So me and my mates set up a little surprise. Moved everything that was "donated" into a folder, then placed a certain picture (you might know the one...) in there.

This was at about 2:30am. Not 4 minutes later, when the dome is almost completly quiet, we here this LOUD scream: "AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! OMFG!!!!! WAHT IS THAT!!!! MY EYESSS!!! SOME ONE SHOW ME SOME PORN QUICK!!!!!!!" So we start lol'ing, then EVERYONE in the dome lols, cheering, high5ing eachother and most people dont know why. Everyone is just hi5ing eachother for like half an hour.

Then roughly every 8 minutes, we hear somone else scream equally as loud. Then everyone in the dome starts hi5ing again. This goes on till saturday afternoon.

epic
 
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Another Time - We were at a friends house LAN and I found this huge rain spider outside so I put it in a small box with a R20 note sticking just out the corner.
Then I left it near the edge of my table where I new our one friends who was always borrowing money from us for coke's or smokes (I am sure you all got a friend like that) would see it.
Sure enough he noticed it. He grabed the box shouting "Hay,Money!"
Now I must admit I knew he was afraid of spiders but I never realised he was seriously arachnophobic.
So when he opened the box an screamed like a little girl it was funny,when he dropped the box and ran out the room it was hilarious.
When he eventually returned (after the spider was released back in to the wild out doors) every time he came close to killing us you ask hay what's that and while he frantically looked around his chair.
We would shot him in the head.
 
ROFL! epic thread!

at school they had VNC installed all the library PCs my friend and I changed all the passwords to ones we knew, and then would hijack a spare PC and start talking to them like we here the PC, or Googling for porn, good times..then the IT guy used it to catch us looking up games... :(

more recently was lanning at a friends house (cod4) and the lights where off, the guy who was sitting behind be hand a 22 inch and every time he got flash banged the room would flash white! he literary got blinded for real!
 
agentrfr said:
At rAge last year, someone had a shared writable folder called "please put pron here".

So me and my mates set up a little surprise. Moved everything that was "donated" into a folder, then placed a certain picture (you might know the one...) in there.

This was at about 2:30am. Not 4 minutes later, when the dome is almost completly quiet, we here this LOUD scream: "AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! OMFG!!!!! WAHT IS THAT!!!! MY EYESSS!!! SOME ONE SHOW ME SOME PORN QUICK!!!!!!!" So we start lol'ing, then EVERYONE in the dome lols, cheering, high5ing eachother and most people dont know why. Everyone is just hi5ing eachother for like half an hour.

Then roughly every 8 minutes, we hear somone else scream equally as loud. Then everyone in the dome starts hi5ing again. This goes on till saturday afternoon.

epic
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What pic is it?

we did the same thing once, a lesson learnt "NEVER share a writable folder on a network"

He shared a folder for us to copy a game, so we though we would be generous and give him some games back, and more, and more, and more.

He is still bragging about his new pc and it starts to lag horribly, even in CS, he clicks around, starts scandisk and it lags so much even his mouse pointer starts lagging.

He checks his scandisk and cannot understand why he only has 164KB left in his 500GB drive :D

We told him "Jy's ons bra, ons gee jou baie goed met liefde" :D
 
I wrote a program that hooks into the mouse, so that it would randomly play a high pitched squeak when you clicked one of the mouse buttons.
I renamed it to cssrs.exe and launched it on one of the tech guy's machines via login script.
It drove him absolutely apesh it. He even reloaded his PC. Twice.
You can imagine his face when I told him I was fscking with him. :p
 
I had a friend back in the day that called cooperative COOPER - ACTIVE. You can imagine how much we gave him crap about that at LAN's. Another guy I know just loves the old sniper rifle in Unreal Tournament (the old one), he used to say he was best with it. So just to prove a point, I'd get the sniper and take him out with like 10 times in a row. He'd get so angry, he'd actually put his mouse hand on the floor and step on it and swear at it for failing him. He actually sprained one of his fingers this way! :-)
 
At the time when Doom 3 was released, we were set up at a buddy's flat and my one friend was busy installing it to give it a go. While he was outside smoking, we installed VNC onto his machine. When he played,he mostly looked around,checking out the graphics and lag and stuff. When the first zombie approached him, he tried to shoot it, but my friend who sits behind him was in control of his mouse :D He would shoot,but every time the cross-hair would miss the zombie by millimeters. He would back up a little, slap his mouse a few times on the desk and I swear you can see him concentrating so hard to aim he's nose is literally touching the screen! He can't understand wtf is going on,coz everytime he tries to shoot the zombie ( headshot or whatever ) , the cross-hair would move and miss the zombie. Meanwhile the tears are running as we try to hold in our laughter. He turns around and sees my friend controlling the mouse "AG JISSIS CHOMMA!". He laughs and says "Wat is nou probleem? Ek is nou ook lus om bietjie Doom te speel?" He packed up his **** and left :D
 
Osiris85 said:
At the time when Doom 3 was released, we were set up at a buddy's flat and my one friend was busy installing it to give it a go. While he was outside smoking, we installed VNC onto his machine. When he played,he mostly looked around,checking out the graphics and lag and stuff. When the first zombie approached him, he tried to shoot it, but my friend who sits behind him was in control of his mouse :D He would shoot,but every time the cross-hair would miss the zombie by millimeters. He would back up a little, slap his mouse a few times on the desk and I swear you can see him concentrating so hard to aim he's nose is literally touching the screen! He can't understand wtf is going on,coz everytime he tries to shoot the zombie ( headshot or whatever ) , the cross-hair would move and miss the zombie. Meanwhile the tears are running as we try to hold in our laughter. He turns around and sees my friend controlling the mouse "AG JISSIS CHOMMA!". He laughs and says "Wat is nou probleem? Ek is nou ook lus om bietjie Doom te speel?" He packed up his **** and left :D
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

edit: It's kinda weird how some people make that whole mission of going to a LAN and then pack up their stuff and leave, lol :D
 
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A few years back.... more like decades there was a LAN going on at some guys farmhouse.... there was this very large guy playing, probably quake or doom 2 (that long ago) and all of a sudden the legs gave way and his chair broke....huge crash. He managed to grab onto his PC for leverage, bringing it down with him.
 
Cube3 said:
A few years back.... more like decades there was a LAN going on at some guys farmhouse.... there was this very large guy playing, probably quake or doom 2 (that long ago) and all of a sudden the legs gave way and his chair broke....huge crash. He managed to grab onto his PC for leverage, bringing it down with him.
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Lol that must have been pretty random
 
About 8 years ago when I was working for a mining company based in Angola we had this idiot IT Manager. I was based in SA but would go up to fix all the stuff he screwed up. So during one of these trips he pissed myself, the maintenance manager and the accountant off. So the accountant who had a BSC decided to screw with the guy for a while.

We used managed 3Com switches. He went and got the network port number that the IT Manager used on the lan, logged into the switch and randomly put the port on and off. The guy changed fly leads, network cards, reinstalled about 3 times, changed P.C’s, had the network installation company out to test the cables. When he changed ports on the switch, we would just go and have a look at what his new port was, and adjusted accordingly.

The attacks would be completely random. When the accountant was bored, he would randomly disable and re-enable to port. It was epic. And the guy never knew it was us, or that the switches were managed.

:)
 
A good few years ago, we were set up for a LAN at a friends flat. My one friend ( the one who loses his cool ) couldn't connect to the network for some odd reason. Me being the resident IT guru, was asked to take a look coz we wanna start playing. While I sit at his pc he grabs a smoke. He sees me working and checking stuff on his pc, then go to mine, then back to his for about 20 - 30 minutes.......genuinely I am going to fix his problem and he can play tonight! ( Actually what I was doing was copying a program from my pc and installing it on his which plays .avi files as a desktop background ). I told him to come and give it a try. When he sad down and clicked on his desktop, all you hear is techno music and a desktop full of swinging penises ( like that scene from Bruno ) :D . He just looks at me with a k@k stare and asks me "ok, so wat is fout?" I laugh and say "Nee, f*k bra ek weet nie" :D
 
Before I moved here, we had a huge LAN in the town over and CSS was the game everyone played. During our Matric final exams, most went home to study, but my friend and I went to his house to catch a ciggie and screw with CSS by altering the in-game sounds. I redid all the hostage voices to sound like coloureds :D Like if you spoke to them to follow you, they will look at you and go "hey,voet-SEK JOU N@@I!" and extensive use of the "P" word.

At the LAN, people were buzzing around my pc, tears running from laughter because of the sounds. ( We also made a "Kids next Door" mod where all the gun sounds were like little kids who make gun sounds like pew-pew, bang-bang and fart noises for the grenades and burp noises for the machine guns. After you shoot it sounds like someone throwing up :D

Anyway, I moved to CT and shared my mods and CSS on the network for my friends and the one guy was like a real "well brought up and good manners" kinda guy, but he didn't know about my colourful mods I made. So he goes home and plays a bit of CSS at full volume and right before him mom came to ask him something, he talks to a hostage and all you hear is "Eina jou f*kken p**s!" and "voet-SEK jou K*NT!". He nearly smashed his monitor and wasted his pc speakers because he frantically grabbed the wires and janked them out before even more colourful chatter came through!
 
Hehe, Good Stories!

I have a similar one but involving Counterstrike!
We were all playing counterstrike at a lan, even though most of use were pretty noob there was this one mofo who thought he was gods gift to counterstrike.Granted he was pretty good, but he took the game far too seriously and the off the cuff remarks would really get on our tits.So I then plugged in my wireless mouse into his pc while he was taking a break and went and sat behind him.
We then proceeded to play a game of counterstrike, about half of the people playing were in on the whole thing.Everytime he was about to shoot some one I very gently nudged the wireless mouse, causing him to lose aim and consequently die in most cases.

You guys have not see rage until you see a self righteous counterstike player losing at his game, man this guy started flipping out after about 5 minutes of torture.His rage was so blinding that he never took notice at everyones failed suppression of laughter at the constant nudging I was doing at the second mouse on every potential kill.Everntually he ripped his mouse out and then saw the other mouse plugged in there....hehehe.

I have never laughed so hard in my life ;)

*Edit- ahh I see someone posted a similar story with VNC though, oh well.The second mouse trick is just as good ;)
 
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Joy-Energiser said:
Hehe, Good Stories!

I have a similar one but involving Counterstrike!
We were all playing counterstrike at a lan, even though most of use were pretty noob there was this one mofo who thought he was gods gift to counterstrike.Granted he was pretty good, but he took the game far too seriously and the off the cuff remarks would really get on our tits.So I then plugged in my wireless mouse into his pc while he was taking a break and went and sat behind him.
We then proceeded to play a game of counterstrike, about half of the people playing were in on the whole thing.Everytime he was about to shoot some one I very gently nudged the wireless mouse, causing him to lose aim and consequently die in most cases.

You guys have not see rage until you see a self righteous counterstike player losing at his game, man this guy started flipping out after about 5 minutes of torture.His rage was so blinding that he never took notice at everyones failed suppression of laughter at the constant nudging I was doing at the second mouse on every potential kill.Everntually he ripped his mouse out and then saw the other mouse plugged in there....hehehe.

I have never laughed so hard in my life ;)

*Edit- ahh I see someone posted a similar story with VNC though, oh well.The second mouse trick is just as good ;)
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 
Joy-Energiser said:
Hehe, Good Stories!

I have a similar one but involving Counterstrike!
We were all playing counterstrike at a lan, even though most of use were pretty noob there was this one mofo who thought he was gods gift to counterstrike.Granted he was pretty good, but he took the game far too seriously and the off the cuff remarks would really get on our tits.So I then plugged in my wireless mouse into his pc while he was taking a break and went and sat behind him.
We then proceeded to play a game of counterstrike, about half of the people playing were in on the whole thing.Everytime he was about to shoot some one I very gently nudged the wireless mouse, causing him to lose aim and consequently die in most cases.

You guys have not see rage until you see a self righteous counterstike player losing at his game, man this guy started flipping out after about 5 minutes of torture.His rage was so blinding that he never took notice at everyones failed suppression of laughter at the constant nudging I was doing at the second mouse on every potential kill.Everntually he ripped his mouse out and then saw the other mouse plugged in there....hehehe.

I have never laughed so hard in my life ;)

*Edit- ahh I see someone posted a similar story with VNC though, oh well.The second mouse trick is just as good ;)
Click to expand...

Haha that's so classic! :D What did he do when he realized?
 
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