Go back or move on?

[MissP]

I recently met someone who is very sweet, thoughtful and is quite into me. He sms's and calls a lot, and is always wonderful. I tried to fight any feelings off, but alas they came anyway. I am fairly cautious when it comes to new relationships/friendships as I have been burnt many times before.

My problem is we were talking one day and he said something really really hurtful! Now he claims that it was a mistake, but i'm not sure ... since this "friendship" is a new development, is it best to just move on with my life or risk the chance of this guy being hurtful again?

Please help!

 

[Jewelbox]

What did he say that was hurtful to you? Would you like to tell us?

 

[MissP]

Jewel unfortunately all I can say is that it is a personal trait he commented on, and then later said it was a mistake he didn't mean it.

 

[kiepie]

It has happened to me as well, said something in a "joke" kind of way, but it came out all wrong. We are really good friends now!

Give him another chance, surely we all do need second chances.

Let him gain your full trust before opening up to him fully

 

[Jewelbox]

Jewel unfortunately all I can say is that it is a personal trait he commented on, and then later said it was a mistake he didn't mean it.

In your OP you mention that he is very sweet and thoughtful, so he is not so thoughtful after all?

 

[Dolby]

Have you noticed how many females are on the forum lately? And they all end with a capital letter ... superB ... HarleyB ... MissP ... you in hiding too?

Anyway - I've done that so many times it's not funny. I constantly say wrong/hurtful things - but I love her with everything. I wouldn't take it as a sign of his feelings ; more of his tact?

And surely if you have feelings for him, you can overlook his tact?

 

[MissP]

Well my bf and I only broke up recently so the thought of moving forward with someone new is rather daunting, especially since there is a fairly good chance it will go further than friendship given the chance. Thanks for all the advice.

 

[Serqet]

Let's face it girls. Men lack tact. Always have and always will. They don't understand how emotional we are...hell most of the time i don't even understand it myself.

Give the guy another chance! It's still a new friendship. You are still setting the boundaries and getting to know one another. You will soon find out as time goes on if he is a friend worth keeping or who knows it might even progress.

Good luck!

 

[blunomore]

Have you noticed how many females are on the forum lately? And they all end with a capital letter ... superB ... HarleyB ... MissP ... you in hiding too?

I was thinking the same thing

I promise, if I want relationship advice, I'll post under my own username!

 

[ToxicBunny]

I should hope so, then at least we can tell Mr Blu that you're planning on cheating on him

 

[Deenem]

Jewel unfortunately all I can say is that it is a personal trait he commented on, and then later said it was a mistake he didn't mean it.

The thing that he commented on, is it something that you're usually very sensitive about? Do get easily offended if other people talk about it?

People don't always have the same sensitivies as you. We're all different people, we all have our own opinion about things and our own way of saying things.

That's why people need to take time to get to know one another, to find out what things that upset them and what things that don't.

 

[Waaib]

Have you noticed how many females are on the forum lately? And they all end with a capital letter ... superB ... HarleyB ... MissP ... you in hiding too?

Yes ..... superB is 'old' though and HarleyB stated she is a pseudonym.

 

[blunomore]

Yes ..... superB is 'old' though and HarleyB stated she is a pseudonym.

The really clever linguists on the forum will be able to pick up 'habits' or 'often-used phrases' in a regular users' posts and clearly see if it is them posting under a pseudonym.

 

[bwana]

Yes ..... superB is 'old' though and HarleyB stated she is a pseudonym.

A pseudonym for a pseudonym.

 

[Hosehead]

Sometimes comments on freckles are hurtful.

 

[Dark Agent]

Have you noticed how many females are on the forum lately? And they all end with a capital letter ... superB ... HarleyB ... MissP ... you in hiding too?

Anyway - I've done that so many times it's not funny. I constantly say wrong/hurtful things - but I love her with everything. I wouldn't take it as a sign of his feelings ; more of his tact?

And surely if you have feelings for him, you can overlook his tact?

I was thinking the same thing

I promise, if I want relationship advice, I'll post under my own username!

A pseudonym for a pseudonym.

... females are wierd

 

[Vinia]

If a guy calls me something hurtful, even in the heat of the moment, he gets a FAIL from me. For a guy to do that at the beginning of your courtship really says something.

Of course we are only getting your side, so we don't know what sparked it or even what it was that he actually said. But going on what you have said and how it made you feel, I would tell the guy shove off.

 

[MissP]

Well to explain a little more, he told me how he felt and that he wanted more than friendship and I explained I just couldn't ... So we continued being friends, and he passed a comment on how I have been towards him since then, which was not warranted nor was it true.

I just don't know whether to say goodbye, continue a friendship or more? As was said before, if this happens so early into things, then i dont know.

 

[Dolby]

The really clever linguists on the forum will be able to pick up 'habits' or 'often-used phrases' in a regular users' posts and clearly see if it is them posting under a pseudonym.

I'm not even smart and I think I've guessed a few things already

 

[Waaib]

The really clever linguists on the forum will be able to pick up 'habits' or 'often-used phrases' in a regular users' posts and clearly see if it is them posting under a pseudonym.

Are you talking about cunning linguists? (Sorry!)