Go back or move on?

[stoke]

There is a recipe for a successful courtship?

If the guy says this and does that then he's in.

Really?

What utter rubbish.

You can feel it in your bones if the relationship is on. When you're talking to the person that you want, every word makes you tingle (for lack of a better word) and you simply continue the conversation to continue to enjoy the tingling. And, this works both ways. You can stare at each other and mumble about meusli and peanut butter on smoked snoek and it will be fascinating. You will fight over rubbish and it will be fun. You will get serious about anything and it will be deep.

Trying to build something based on rules and society expectations is pretty wasteful, and puts the wrong kind of pressure on a fledgling relationship.

 

[Devill]

In your OP you mention that he is very sweet and thoughtful, so he is not so thoughtful after all?

You don't like men very much do you?

Well to explain a little more, he told me how he felt and that he wanted more than friendship and I explained I just couldn't ... So we continued being friends, and he passed a comment on how I have been towards him since then, which was not warranted nor was it true.

I just don't know whether to say goodbye, continue a friendship or more? As was said before, if this happens so early into things, then i dont know.

Ok unless you are 30+ you still have a loooong time to recover from most things

Life sucks sometimes, but if you don't put yourself out there (live life not be a tramp) then yes you might not get hurt but you will also never truely live.

So what if it doesnt work out, your heart will heal and you will move on. But what if he could be the one?

IMO small risk for great reward

 

[spiderz]

Well to explain a little more, he told me how he felt and that he wanted more than friendship and I explained I just couldn't ... So we continued being friends, and he passed a comment on how I have been towards him since then, which was not warranted nor was it true.

I just don't know whether to say goodbye, continue a friendship or more? As was said before, if this happens so early into things, then i dont know.

Point of perception, no two people will see the same even in the same way, let alone feel exactly the same about it.

Try to understand the situation form his side before jumping to conclusions. There is 3 sides to every story, your side, his side, and the truth.

"he wanted more than friendship and I explained I just couldn't ... "
Did he mean sex?
Anyway, no relationship can be build if your not friends at least with someone. IF you can't get the friendship thing right, a relationship will probably not work.

Ok, with that being said, i must say, that men do approach a friendship and relationship different. Men is probably all about the end goal, not the journey to get there.

/me goes back to my own little world....

 

[Oculate]

that men do approach a friendship and relationship different.

I do, only to avoid the friendship zone

 

[superB]

My ex had the tact of a door knob and sometimes could be really hurtful. I know in my heart that he didnt mean the things he said in the way they came out but after a while it became really hurtful none the less.

If this is going to be a constant thing from this guy you need to weigh up : are you strong enough to let it slide each time knowing that he didnt actually mean it maliciously? Or is it going to sting every time? It can have a HUGE effect on your self worth after a while.

 

[Gazer]

Sometimes comments on freckles are hurtful.

You're joking?

Freckles are adorable...I don't have them but my 3 siblings do...I'm the odd one out

 

[Deenem]

Well to explain a little more, he told me how he felt and that he wanted more than friendship and I explained I just couldn't ... So we continued being friends, and he passed a comment on how I have been towards him since then, which was not warranted nor was it true.

I just don't know whether to say goodbye, continue a friendship or more? As was said before, if this happens so early into things, then i dont know.

So, to sum up:
- Boy meets girl
- Boy likes girl
- Boy really like girl
- Boy says, 'Let's do it'
- Girl says 'No'
- Boy feels rejected
- Boy says something nasty
- Girl is hurt, confused about what Boy really wants

OK, so let me tell you a secret, every boy you've ever met wanted to 'do it' with you. (Relatives and boys called Pooky excluded). It's just the way we are. Sorry, but that's the truth.

Now, out of all those boys that you've met, apparently one has plucked up enough courage to actually do something about it and ask you. You said 'No' , he felt hurt, rejected, maybe he said something he shouldn't have. But he got over himself quickly enough and said he didn't mean it.

Next secret, boys hear 'No' all the time, we get over it quicker than you think and in the end we do respect you more for saying 'No'.

So if he still wants to be a friends, then it sounds like he would be a good friend to have.

 

[Slootvreter]

If a guy calls me something hurtful, even in the heat of the moment, he gets a FAIL from me. For a guy to do that at the beginning of your courtship really says something.

You must be really lonely...and will now try to convince us you aren't.


Or there aren't many things that you find hurtful and he must really put effort into finding something.

 

[eek]

So, to sum up:
- Boy meets girl
- Boy likes girl
- Boy really like girl
- Boy says, 'Let's do it'
- Girl says 'No'
- Boy feels rejected
- Boy says something nasty
- Girl is hurt, confused about what Boy really wants

OK, so let me tell you a secret, every boy you've ever met wanted to 'do it' with you. (Relatives and boys called Pooky excluded). It's just the way we are. Sorry, but that's the truth.

Now, out of all those boys that you've met, apparently one has plucked up enough courage to actually do something about it and ask you. You said 'No' , he felt hurt, rejected, maybe he said something he shouldn't have. But he got over himself quickly enough and said he didn't mean it.

Next secret, boys hear 'No' all the time, we get over it quicker than you think and in the end we do respect you more for saying 'No'.

So if he still wants to be a friends, then it sounds like he would be a good friend to have.

Agree!

 

[Slootvreter]

Are you talking about cunning linguists? (Sorry!)

FTW!

 

[Pitbull]

Just bone him.

Once that is out of the way, he is reliefed, you fell better or worse depending on how it went. Then build your relationship from there.

It's not that hard...

Think of it as taking a car for a test drive. No good buying a car someone else says is a good ride for them but you completely hate it. Take it for a spin, and if you like it you buy it. If not, show the sales man the door and go find another car to test drive.

Life is simple, don't complicate it so much

 

[Kitten]

omg hahahaha

 

[medicnick83]

Pitbull (There is no emoticon for this...)

*shakes head*

 

[stoke]

Ug @ Pitbull!

 

[Pitbull]

S'true.

Life should be simple,

"Nike, Just Do It"

 

[mercurial]

Have you noticed how many females are on the forum lately? And they all end with a capital letter ... superB ... HarleyB ... MissP ... you in hiding too?

And don't forget CathJ

 

[eek]

Hahaha! This time for once I don't agree with Pitbull!

Well except for this line:

Life is simple, don't complicate it so much

 

[Pitbull]

Hahaha! This time for once I don't agree with Pitbull!

Well except for this line:

Shame man, I had to stand up for this Mr. X

For all we know this might be his last chance at ever getting laid. And woman are so stingy... I feel for the poor dude

 

[eek]

Shame man, I had to stand up for this Mr. X

For all we know this might be his last chance at ever getting laid. And woman are so stingy... I feel for the poor dude

LMAO! Ok I get it now! "Man"kind's last hope! C'mon, Take one for the team!

 

[CathJ]

And don't forget CathJ

Then you might as well include MissM, too. At least you know she and I different people, since we were both at one of the Cape Town meets