Going to Fast - GF

koeks said:
hahaha. you sound 16... brother wait a minute man or you will fall flat on your chin...

you are ridiculous. i bet you are smiling alone right now thinking about tonight. hahaha
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Mate I am not thinking about sex. We made that clear for the past 5 hours the first day we met. Yes, I was obsessed with her wanting to rip off her clothing, she will come onto the forum later on.


Nocturnity said:
That part tells me you're too young to get married. The last time I heard the word like used that often was... Can't even remember! Edit: PurePwnage. That's where I heard it!

Anyway, trust me, you don't want to rush things. I was the same during the beginning phases of my first relationship. First get to know each other for a few more months.
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We been spending time together for 4 weeks solid. I have been with her every weekend, we recently took a get away weekends. To meet her folks, Sun City, and to the coast. I wanted to meet her parents, so I told her lets go this weekend. Money ain't object to love, but I am rushing things to fast. I know that.


stoke said:
Marry the woman if you and she want to start a family.

If you don't want to start a family, avoid marriage.
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We cannot start a family :( She cannot have kids.


Devill said:
Spend the hollidays together and see how things look a little later in 2009.

Maybe meet her familey and take her to meet yours.

If the job is good and you think its in your line take it :)

But if you already have a nice job maybe stick with it.

/ just my 2c

Ps Good luck and enjoy :D
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I will spend as much time with her as possible, she is moving in end of this week. I think we will see how things develop from there, and yes the rule stands sleeping in separate beds.

I have already met her family they lovely people, just her brother I fear him 16 year-old - Tall Giant easy around 1.9 m..

I enjoy my job, just need a new environment - I have work to do for her boss anyways ;) That will be my task for 1 month:)
 
stoke said:
Marry the woman if you and she want to start a family.

If you don't want to start a family, avoid marriage.
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The guy is 24 FFS! I don't know of anyone getting married at that age unless your gf is pregnant and she happens to be the daughter of Sarah Palin.
 
koeks said:
How old are you? woman come and go and feelings such as these fade away... bra you need to take some time out here. you are on the fast lane... doing 180km/h and you are about to crash that car of your. slow down and move to the middle lane... is this your first girlfriend?
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Yes, indeed she is my first girlfriend.
If I screw up things so be it!

ItsJustJack said:
Try give her a pearl necklace. If she accepts, she's a keeper.
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She doesn't want expensive gifts at all. We were at the mall I wanted to buy her something. She never wanted it..

brixton tower said:
The guy is 24 FFS! I don't know of anyone getting married at that age unless your gf is pregnant and she happens to be the daughter of Sarah Palin.
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Dude you know the saying you've one life and try everything in life.
So marriage is what I want to try..
 
RichardG said:
Mate I am not thinking about sex. We made that clear for the past 5 hours the first day we met. Yes, I was obsessed with her wanting to rip off her clothing, she will come onto the forum later on.




We been spending time together for 4 weeks solid. I have been with her every weekend, we recently took a get away weekends. To meet her folks, Sun City, and to the coast. I wanted to meet her parents, so I told her lets go this weekend. Money ain't object to love, but I am rushing things to fast. I know that.




We cannot start a family :( She cannot have kids.





I will spend as much time with her as possible, she is moving in end of this week. I think we will see how things develop from there, and yes the rule stands sleeping in separate beds.

I have already met her family they lovely people, just her brother I fear him 16 year-old - Tall Giant easy around 1.9 m..

I enjoy my job, just need a new environment - I have work to do for her boss anyways ;) That will be my task for 1 month:)
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RichardG, how can you guys move in and have separate beds to sleep in. Is this your roommate or your woman. she needs to be touched man. Everyone needs a fsck now and then. trust me. :confused:

Why do you think your s*x organs are in front. to remind you to have s*x. You will be surprised but s*x/lovemaking does strengthen the bond between the two of you. The nice thing is that you guys are moving in, that's when you will really get to know her. give it a few months and you will tell us...:)

hahaha, the rule stands, we are sleeping in separates beds. :eek:

I have already met her family they lovely people, just her brother I fear him 16 year-old - Tall Giant easy around 1.9 m.. :eek:

You are a disaster waiting to happen. chill man there is no rush. we were once 17 before thinking like you...
 
RichardG said:
We been spending time together for 4 weeks solid. I have been with her every weekend, we recently took a get away weekends. To meet her folks, Sun City, and to the coast. I wanted to meet her parents, so I told her lets go this weekend. Money ain't object to love, but I am rushing things to fast. I know that.
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4 Weeks is nothing. No, seriously. Try again in a few months.

RichardG said:
We cannot start a family :( She cannot have kids.
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Whoa! She's a keeper! No need to worry about them silly jiffies once you've started rolling in the sack.

RichardG said:
and yes the rule stands sleeping in separate beds.
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Problem! I'd recommend sleeping in the same bed. That way you get to hold her every night and you'll bond a lot faster. Sleeping in seperate beds will either not last long or it'll drive you apart. Doesn't mean you have to have sex, just be close. That's how I started my current relationship. She slept over every weekend for the first 3 months and we didn't have sex but we became very close. It helps build trust.
 
i am very happy for you, love is a great feeling

think she is truly the one or is it just love at first site.
To be honest she is the first girlfriend I ever have and I feel so safe around her company, trust, honesty, etc
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but i think you rushing everything just a bit...

...get to know her better, see how she reacts in different situations - take her to meet your parents, to meet your friendsm, you meet her friends, go away for a short bit, go away for a long time, have a couple of fights etc

this will also show you some of her sides, but this will take a bit of time.

so don't rush, as there is no point in getting married in a few months and then getting divorced a few months later.

but all in all, just have fun and enjoy the feeling, and the transgression of how a relationship evolves
 
ok quick one here, she is a little bit younger than you and you said you are 24 which makes her 24 or there about, how does she know she can't have kids?

Me and my gf are both 24 and we have quite a few female friends in our group and the last thing on our minds is whether or not the "equipment" has the potential to make babies, we are much more concerned with preventing this sorta thing. I just find it strange that a lady aged 24 would know that she cant kids
 
I haven't read what anyone else had to say yet but here it is:

You're ready when you feel you're ready. If you feel you want to propose to her before her next birthday then go for it.

You're never too young. Never too old. Do what you feel is in your heart. No advice in the world can stop you from being you. So why take that type of advice?

Not everyone sleeps with their girlfriend before they get married. 2 of my friends have got married in less than 12 months after meeting their SO. It does happen. And they're happy and going strong.

2 of my other friends have dated their current gf/wife 9+ years before tying the knot. When you're ready you're ready.

No need for Dr. Phil.

However, always re-assess your feelings as the relationship grows. 12 months from now may be too late. 2 weeks from now may be too early. Do what is right for YOU.

Don't make the mistake of working for the same company though. a lot of young inexperienced couples work together and find out its too much of a strain on the relationship. Not only do you deal with each other all day long, you have to come back (assuming you live together) and deal with them in a personal capacity as well.

Work + Play should be 2 different things until the relationship is mature enough to handle the additional strain.
 
I think it is great you are so happy, excited and feeling so positive etc.. Give it a few more months before talking/thinking marriage..

Dude you know the saying you've one life and try everything in life.
So marriage is what I want to try..
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Also marriage is not just something you "try".. It is a serious long term commitment, and divorce is not just emotionally destroying, but there is so much paperwork and financial expenditure involved..

Not saying you will get divorced, merely pointing out that it is not something you just do so that you can see how it is :)
 
stoke said:
Erm, my parents were married at 19 and are still married mkay. There are no rules to this love stuff.
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You can't compare 2008 to the days of the Great Trek, humanity has moved on a great deal since then...instant coffee, sex on demand, and chicks that throw themselves at you at every turn.

No mate, I say he can marry the chick but he needs to calm down first because coming to the conclusion that you want a settle down for life after knowing the other person for "two weeks" is surely bone-headed.

He's not motivated by sex so it shouldn't be too difficult to chill like Winston.
 
Nocturnity said:
4 Weeks is nothing. No, seriously. Try again in a few months.


Whoa! She's a keeper! No need to worry about them silly jiffies once you've started rolling in the sack.



Problem! I'd recommend sleeping in the same bed. That way you get to hold her every night and you'll bond a lot faster. Sleeping in seperate beds will either not last long or it'll drive you apart. Doesn't mean you have to have sex, just be close. That's how I started my current relationship. She slept over every weekend for the first 3 months and we didn't have sex but we became very close. It helps build trust.
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100% agreed.

Rich i can read your very excited as you sound a lot more hyped than normal :D

Thing is you don't need to rush into things. Spend time together, cuddle her, love her and do all the things normal couples do. Enjoy it, there is no point in rushing.....unless you have lots of insecurities about her feelings?

Otherwise just take it easy and enjoy what you two have going for yourselves :)

@ Brixton: i Have a fair amount of friends that got married at age 18/19. It's not a thing of years past ;)
 
I agree with AcidRazor, that there are no hard and fast rules in romance. However: if you 2 are meant for each other, then you will end up together and nothing can prevent that (assuming you believe in those notions). And then it won't matter if you first spend a few more months getting to know each other better. You'll still end up together, having worked through all the real issues - family, careers, finances, health, etc etc.

If you lose her because you chose to be a little patient and cautious, then you weren't meant for each other and it's better that you don't have to face a divorce.

My point is that there are real, practical rewards for first getting through the practical issues. That is, if you are concerned about those things. If you're both complete romantics who aren't worried about the everyday humdrum, then you don't need to wait. I'm just a firm believer that people should live together for 2 or 3 years before tying the knot. Rather know your partner very well before committing to the rest of your life.
 
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brixton tower said:
You can't compare 2008 to the days of the Great Trek, humanity has moved on a great deal since then...instant coffee, sex on demand, and chicks that throw themselves at you at every turn.

No mate, I say he can marry the chick but he needs to calm down first because coming to the conclusion that you want a settle down for life after knowing the other person for "two weeks" is surely bone-headed.

He's not motivated by sex so it shouldn't be too difficult to chill like Winston.
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So, humanity has become an environment where there is no trust and real relationships do not exist.
The irony of it is that is that if everyone believes this to be true, then it is true.
BUT, DAMMIT, you can still find that person that you can trust 100% and that deserves your trust.
And, if you do find that person .. well then .. why wait?
 
*sigh* this thread reminds me of the first few months with The_Librarian

*goes off to start a new thread*
 
stoke said:
So, humanity has become an environment where there is no trust and real relationships do not exist.
The irony of it is that is that if everyone believes this to be true, then it is true.
BUT, DAMMIT, you can still find that person that you can trust 100% and that deserves your trust.
And, if you do find that person .. well then .. why wait?
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It's a statistical issue IMO (there's that practical realistic junk again) - consider the number of divorces in SA alone. I'd simply prefer to know that we can deal with each other's issues before taking the big step. If you can handle all the doubts and insecurities and challenges, then go for it and enjoy your lives together confidently. Else deal with the effects of splitting up.
:cool:
 
I say ask her to marry ASAP man, if it feels right then awesome i mean its only an engagement which can last for a few years and if it does not work then so be it :)

Well said Mr stoke :)

Try to have sex first though.

Do you guys think if 2 people are not sexually suited or have very different views about sex that the relationship is doomed to fail?
 
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The way I see it, guys get married for one of two reasons.
1. They feel that they're "ready" and want to start a family or feel like their clock is ticking or peer pressure from family/friends, etc.
2. They are scared of losing the person they're with.
 
killadoob said:
I say ask her to marry ASAP man, if it feels right then awesome i mean its only an engagement which can last for a few years and if it does not work then so be it :)

Well said Mr stoke :)

Try to have sex first though.

Do you guys think if 2 people are not sexually suited or have very different views about sex that the relationship is doomed to fail?
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I will say compatibility on all levels is quite important ;)
 
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