Help! I think I'm wanted...

I've just remembered why most people pay to talk to someone rather than posing their vexing dilemmas online... :D

As previously stated, I'm not a homophobe and have no problem associating with my friends who happen to be part of the homosexual community.

The fact that two of us met this chap in the morning and that I was then discreetly invited around, late on the very same evening, for coffee and wine, makes me suspicious.

It wouldn't be the first time a Gay man has made a pass at me, but usually that terminates the social link, whereas I would like to reject the pass here but save the social link.

At any rate, as I said, I've already decided on how best to deal with the situation. :)

Thanks for your input.
 
I don't know why this is something to make such a big fuss about, though. If it was a woman and you weren't interested in her, what would you have done? Why then should doing the same thing with a gay man be so different?

Just tell him you enjoy his company, but you'd prefer a platonic friendship. It's really that simple. ;)
 
Seriously, what's the worst that can happen? You land up having coffee with a dude whose sexual preferences are either completely irrelevant to the conversation, or he makes a move and you turn him down. For all you know you've read far too much into this already. 'Dem gays don't just go around raping and pillaging, ya know...:D
 
As long as he isn't the President of Burundi ...

Frankly you seem to be reading an apprehension into the invitation which is manifestly wrong. If I had sex with everybody I had coffee with I'd have more descendants than Genghis Kahn. An inference of a pretext that a coffee invitation is anything beyond social is a dangerous one which really needs to be knocked out.
 
Merlin said:
I'm not a homophobe and have no problem associating with my friends who happen to be part of the homosexual community.

The fact that two of us met this chap in the morning and that I was then discreetly invited around, late on the very same evening, for coffee and wine, makes me suspicious.
Click to expand...

If you were with a gay friend when you met him, maybe he just thought - "here is a straight male who is not uncomfortable being around gay men, i could make a new friend and just be myself, i dont have to pretend to be something else."
Unlike the younger generation of "openly gay" or "proud to be gay" people, i find the older generation still find it difficult to just be themselves around straight people.
 
Merlin, have you dealt with the situation yet? What happened?
 
What's next, you think he is going to mug you because he is black? :p
 
Merlin said:
Um...I have a strange dilemma to deal with...

Keeping it simple, today I met a whole bunch of chaps who share an interest in the same specialised hobby that I do. One of them, a much older gentleman than I am, and myself spoke quite a bit. He's quite clued up and is a good contact to have. The group of us chatted over breakfast and at the end, this chap and myself exchanged numbers with a view to further conversation.

This evening I got an SMS inviting me around for some coffee...

It seemed a little odd, so later on I did some FB stalking, based on a theory...

I'm fairly certain now that that guy is either openly or closeted Gay, which makes the phrasing of his SMS invite all the more clear; I'm, Um, being 'invited'...

I'm certainly not a homophobe, before you ask. The guy is quite sociable and a great hobby contact to have, but quite frankly, I'm looking for melons & a guava more than a banana. How do I politely and discreetly handle this situation, bearing in mind that he hasn't openly admitted to anything and that I'd like to sort things out before I arrive for coffee and am greeted with a disturbing sight? :o

Your advice would be most welcome.
Click to expand...

Translation:

You smoked a blunt with some peeps and this one guy says he can get some premo stash. So when he invited you over you realized this is more about him cornholing you then you getting high.

Oh BTW yes, it definitely is. Found my self in the same situation and no I didn't go for it.
 
ant_man said:
I say go for coffee, as you share a common interest

The only reason you are apprehensive is because he is gay.

What would you have done if he wasn't gay, I presume you wouldn't have thought twice as you would think it would be to chat about your hobby.

If he does make advances of any sort simply tell him that you are not interested.

All us gay folk don't go stalking guys to get our kicks.
Click to expand...

This indeed, don't be paranoid, keep the focus on your hobby
 
haha....I enjoyed reading these 4 pages.

I also would like to know if OP met up with his potential new friend. My best friend is straight ... and even though he is a very attractive guy I would never hit on him. We would joke when we were still becoming friends about it... he would refuse to walk in front of me or I would slap him on the bum as he gets out of the car .... but that got old and tired ... and now we just hug hello and good bye and that is that. Now I actually cant even imagine hitting on him. I cant think of him in a sexual way at all actually.

I think the OP might miss out if he does not want to meet up with this guy who he shared a very nice conversation with regarding a shared hobby simply because he thinks the guy might be gay and wants to try and put a baby in his tummy. :p

Just hope and pray it is not ant_man that is inviting you...... cause then you are done for! :p
 
ant_man said:
I say go for coffee, as you share a common interest

The only reason you are apprehensive is because he is gay.

What would you have done if he wasn't gay, I presume you wouldn't have thought twice as you would think it would be to chat about your hobby.

If he does make advances of any sort simply tell him that you are not interested.

All us gay folk don't go stalking guys to get our kicks.
Click to expand...

Simple as that - it's like dealing with unwanted advances from a chick, firmly and politely, and they will respect you for it all the more.
 
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