Homeschooling our children

[Alton Turner Blackwood]

I started Sub A in 1987 and I can't remember jack about bullying, so maybe I was just lucky. I went to public school, both primary and secondary.

 

[murraybiscuit]

depends on the parents and kids.
i hated school, but that's probably because the school sucked (substance abuse, serious underachievers) and my parents couldn't afford option b.
i personally just think that the last 5 years of school are a waste of time and the entire syllabus could be condensed into a few less years. the reason it takes so long is that you go at the pace of the average/slowest student, so if you're above average, you get frustrated.
i think you're really lucky to be in the place where your wife can do home schooling. as long as she has the passion for it.
i like the idea of putting them back into the system in high school to finish off.
here's some inspiration about why to home school:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

 

[cerebus]

Okay well I wouldn't have my kid home schooled, after seeing the differences the one's who've gone to school are generally better adjusted, friendly, playful, know their manners and appear smarter. Also bullying teaches you life isn't fair, and this should be taught, I hate the whole everyone gets a medal mentality that is happening these days, how does a kid learn how life really works, if everyone is pandering to them?

Bullying teaches you life isn't fair? Are you serious? From my experience all it does is teaches you that you're worthless and bigger people will always dominate over weaker ones - particularly for younger children who are forming a self-image based on the views of others. I was a totally introverted teenager, to some extent at least because I was bullied. Go read about the psychological consequences of bullying.

Anyway it's not a thread about bullying so it's fine, I appreciate your input.

 

[cerebus]

The is Cerebus's wife: Awesome thread.

I think these days there is a huge misconception on the term home-schooling. Kids dont get social skills, parents can mess up the kids future if they don't get enough education etc. It is absolutely not true.

Here were we live, there is a big group of home-schooling families, and we had a get together the other day. I was so impressed. The kids are well mannered, the bigger ones help look after the smaller kids, as most home-school families have a lot of kids, mostly 3+, so the older kids are used to younger ones.

Firstly for the social aspect, it depends a lot on the parent. I do a lot of homework to find kids of my kids age, so that they can have play dates, and also we will soon start doing co-op groups together, where we actually help teach each others kids, so they get a bit of a mix of things. These days there are so many curricula out there, ones where you can sit down and work with the kids every day out of work books, where they send you a schedule, you have a helpline to call if you get stuck, and they even have groups where kids study together.

If i take the curriculum we are looking into, the grade R year will be R2800 and that includes everything! Currently my baby is in a playgroup 2 mornings a week. We had to fork out R1500(R500 deposit - and 2 months @R480 a month), and full week(5 days) grade R will fork us out of the pocket minimum R1500 a month, and that is just school fees, not anything extra. Our town is very expensive.

Then when baby does Grade R, we keep the books from oldest boys Grade R and just add a few work books, so in the end you basically only pay for a school year once. Now you home-school your kid, schooling cost you say R3500 a year, including babies workbooks, and then you have the rest of your finances to give to the kids for extra murals. Some schools in our area accept home-schooling kids for sports in the afternoon and also culture.

Just remember, home-schooling is not a school, it is a way of life. Teaching your child manners and how to be proper is a way of home-schooling. When you daughter bakes with her mother, that is also a way of home-schooling. It is not merely sitting down and doing maths.

Interesting topic!

 

[Nanfeishen]

Considering the fees, and the level of education received at many public schools, home education can be a positive situation, as long as the concept of social interaction is present.
The danger however is that by not attending a school the ideas and concept of independance , and self reliance may not be introduced through the home environment.
Then there is the risk from the parents side of not "cutting the apron strings" and becoming too involved in the childrens lives, which can also be damaging to their emotional and psychological growth.
Its a slippery slope.

 

[noxibox]

Home schooling can be better academically if you only have access to low quality schools and you're able to teach well.

The alleged social negatives of home schooling are nonsense, and it can in fact be better than the artificial age segregation practiced in most schools. For every individual that allegedly has poor social skills due to home schooling you'll easily find one who has been harmed by the standard school environment.

A big negative of most schools is a limited range of sport options and insistence that a child take part in at least one of those sports irrespective of their outside involvement in better sports.

Typical schools have rigid hours and a structure completely at odds with how children learn naturally. They are unable to adapt to an individual child's learning rate. At home you can decide to do more, or if your child is finished ahead of schedule allow them extra play time.

If anything most schools are designed specifically to undermine autonomy.

 

[cerebus]

Noxibox, our oldest will turn 5 next year. The curriculum we have chosen we can start next year, and instead of pushing it into one year, the Grade R year, we will space it out over 2 years, or if he is happy to do it all next year, we will start with grade 1..we can go along as we want to. If he does not get a math problem, we can work at it, go to master maths(I can actually afford that as I am not paying so much towards schooling fees - whereas if I sent my kids to school, I could not afford it), and then when he gets it, we move on. When I was in school, I struggled, because I was quiet, mostly scared as I was characterized a nerd, and not popular at all. I was so scared to ask, so I nearly failed math and science. I dont want that for my kids. I think it might just work out!
^^ THE WIFE

 

[Alan]

I'm really baffled why people think exposing the child to bullying could possibly be good for them. I was bullied at school, and I also bullied others - it was nothing but damaging. And it doesn't reflect adult reality - were you recently pushed into your office toilets? In the real world as adults we deal with people professionally, and skills/intelligence/competence are primary.

It's about learning to deal and cope with it and sorry I don't accept "adults deal with people professionally". Bullying takes place in the adult world, it just takes a different form.

Like or not kids will have to encounter some of the more sinister elements of society some time in their lives.

Getting together with other home schooled children would be a good way of learning to cope with other kids they might have issues with. Sport is great too.

 

[Nerfherder]

The is Cerebus's wife: Awesome thread.

I think these days there is a huge misconception on the term home-schooling. Kids dont get social skills, parents can mess up the kids future if they don't get enough education etc. It is absolutely not true.

Here were we live, there is a big group of home-schooling families, and we had a get together the other day. I was so impressed. The kids are well mannered, the bigger ones help look after the smaller kids, as most home-school families have a lot of kids, mostly 3+, so the older kids are used to younger ones.

Firstly for the social aspect, it depends a lot on the parent. I do a lot of homework to find kids of my kids age, so that they can have play dates, and also we will soon start doing co-op groups together, where we actually help teach each others kids, so they get a bit of a mix of things. These days there are so many curricula out there, ones where you can sit down and work with the kids every day out of work books, where they send you a schedule, you have a helpline to call if you get stuck, and they even have groups where kids study together.

If i take the curriculum we are looking into, the grade R year will be R2800 and that includes everything! Currently my baby is in a playgroup 2 mornings a week. We had to fork out R1500(R500 deposit - and 2 months @R480 a month), and full week(5 days) grade R will fork us out of the pocket minimum R1500 a month, and that is just school fees, not anything extra. Our town is very expensive.

Then when baby does Grade R, we keep the books from oldest boys Grade R and just add a few work books, so in the end you basically only pay for a school year once. Now you home-school your kid, schooling cost you say R3500 a year, including babies workbooks, and then you have the rest of your finances to give to the kids for extra murals. Some schools in our area accept home-schooling kids for sports in the afternoon and also culture.

Just remember, home-schooling is not a school, it is a way of life. Teaching your child manners and how to be proper is a way of home-schooling. When you daughter bakes with her mother, that is also a way of home-schooling. It is not merely sitting down and doing maths.

Interesting topic!

@misses Cerebus

I think you are doing a lot of things right, perhaps a lot of the things that I would do as well.

BUT

I was a difficult pupil myself, I was very demanding and easily distracted (look at me now on a forum instead of working).
The relationship was strained with a LOT of my teachers and I had to have remedial help.

So, don't you worry that this extra "teacher" role will affect your relationship with your kids ?

 

[cerebus]

It's about learning to deal and cope with it and sorry I don't accept "adults deal with people professionally". Bullying takes place in the adult world, it just takes a different form.

Like or not kids will have to encounter some of the more sinister elements of society some time in their lives.

Getting together with other home schooled children would be a good way of learning to cope with other kids they might have issues with. Sport is great too.

Confrontation with bullying adults takes place yes but it doesn't define the bulk of our relationships. And for adults it doesn't affect our delicate self-image. The danger with a child is that their self-esteem is very formative and reflective of how others see them. If your child (hypothetically) was getting bullied in school, how would you react?

It's not to say that one would just seek to shield the child against any kind of negative confrontation. Just that bullying per se is not this positive influence that people here seem to think it is. A particular child might be highly academic and slightly built, and destined to become a scientist or doctor - what possible value does bullying have for them?

 

[Other Pineapple Smurf]

@cerbeus: Home schooling is not worth it and especially in Somerset West. We are blessed with the best schools in the country, both public and private.

Keep in mind schooling as about setting the foundations, not about destroying individuality. Also with schooling today parents need to be more involved with their kids - things have changed.

My son has challenges and we are so glad he started school last week (Grade R, 4,5yrs old). We are impressed with the growth he has experienced in just over a week.

Also be very careful of which Grade R you put your kids in, check with your intended primary school how many students they accepted from that Grade R and how many where kept back. Our son goes to Rooha, one of the better ones. They also have smaller classes (less than 30).

 

[Alan]

Confrontation with bullying adults takes place yes but it doesn't define the bulk of our relationships. And for adults it doesn't affect our delicate self-image. The danger with a child is that their self-esteem is very formative and reflective of how others see them. If your child (hypothetically) was getting bullied in school, how would you react?

It's not to say that one would just seek to shield the child against any kind of negative confrontation. Just that bullying per se is not this positive influence that people here seem to think it is. A particular child might be highly academic and slightly built, and destined to become a scientist or doctor - what possible value does bullying have for them?

I'm not saying a child should be exposed directly to bullying or that it is a positive experience. It's about the child dealing with their peers and the various types of individuals they must learn to interact with. By bullying I don't necessarily mean physically sticking heads in toilets but generally more subtle negative influences like peer pressure.

It's not the be all and end all. Just something a parent should consider with home schooling.

 

[LazyLion]

I'm sorry, but I don't buy the whole lack of social interaction thingy.

If the parents are socially reclusive people then the kids will be.
If the parents are socially active then the kids will be.

Home Schooling has just gotten a bad rep somewhere along the way, cos some gun totin hillbillies in the mountains of West Virginia make it look bad.

Our kids have no lack of social interaction, they are active at Church, at Karate, at Maths Club, at lans and parties, etc. etc.
In fact, their social calendar is probably a bit too busy.

Watching my kids, my 13 year old is much more socially mature than most kids his age, that is because he can hold a conversation with an adult on almost any subject, history, geography, computers, politics, etc.

 

[LazyLion]

@cerberus: Home schooling is not worth it...

Why not? Ours costs us about Ten Grand a year for all three kids.

 

[fastesthamster]

5) The statistics on academic results tend overwhelmingly to favour homeschooling over public. Last year the top four matriculants in South Africa were all homeschooled (citation required and subject to correction).

Discuss?

How well will you yourself (or wife) be understanding the subjects you'll be teaching? Will you get a tutor if your boys show an aptitude for a subject (say maths) and overtake your own ability to teach the subject? In a school system there is the option of taking extra maths, or attending maths classes a few grades higher than your own.

Are there any subjects you'll be leaving out for any reason? A lot of homeschooling in America seems to be because parents want to teach the 6,000 year old Earth, intelligent design fable.

 

[cerebus]

@cerbeus: Home schooling is not worth it and especially in Somerset West. We are blessed with the best schools in the country, both public and private.

Keep in mind schooling as about setting the foundations, not about destroying individuality. Also with schooling today parents need to be more involved with their kids - things have changed.

My son has challenges and we are so glad he started school last week (Grade R, 4,5yrs old). We are impressed with the growth he has experienced in just over a week.

Also be very careful of which Grade R you put your kids in, check with your intended primary school how many students they accepted from that Grade R and how many where kept back. Our son goes to Rooha, one of the better ones. They also have smaller classes (less than 30).

Cerebus's wife: I appreciate your input cbrunsdonza. We live 500 m out of the catchment area of both good schools in Somerset West, which means, with the amounts of kids currently in the Helderberg area, we would probably have to move 500m's in order to get our kids into either Beaumont or De Hoop. My boy's name is on the list for Grade R at Rooha in 2014, I put it on last year April, he was number 46. I have no idea how he will get into either of the schools. And moving for schools, where our hearts are for homeschooling, is a not so nice pill for me to swallow at this point. I do understand your point that schools esp Rooha is good! Thus me choosing that school, but how can it be good for my boys to fend for attention at the age of 5 with 30 other pupils?

At Nerfherder: I believe if you are involved with your kids, and also allow them freedom, and treat them with respect, one should have a good relationship with your child. If either of them become easily distracted etc, we will work with them from there, and if they really need to go to the public schools, then we are also open to that.

 

[BeVonk!]

We've done the home school thing. It didn't work out for us. Kids went back to school.

There are many variables that determine the success of such a venture. The mom plays a huge role and a lot depends on her. If she struggles then things go real bad for the kids. It depends on the personalities of the kids. If they are not self-driven and get their motivation from within themselves they will struggle. There are risks with the study material.

We were also part of a group of homeschooling parents ... but this is where the wheels came off. A strong concervative Christian take on things in the group caused a lot of friction. I see things differently and want my kids to be exposed to more open thinking but this did not go down well. It was expected of us to follow a young earth creationist view and the books recommended and used had this bias. In the we had to pull out of the group. My wife then struggled and we stopped the whole thing. Kids were actually very happy to be as they themselves put it "normal kids again".

The schools are not as bad as many want to make them out to be. The majority of eachers are very good and teaching ks their calling. Is your wife called and equiped to be a teacher? If not the risks are very high.

 

[noxibox]

Whether a child is at school or not they're going to learn to deal with others. You can't use the cases of home schooling parents who lock their children away as representative.

Watching my kids, my 13 year old is much more socially mature than most kids his age, that is because he can hold a conversation with an adult on almost any subject, history, geography, computers, politics, etc.

That is widely held to be a benefit of home schooling, because normally schools don't encourage a wide range of interaction.

In a school system there is the option of taking extra maths, or attending maths classes a few grades higher than your own.

There might be, it's not guaranteed.

 

[Nicodeamus]

I really don't think that our schooling system has decline that far, the issue isn't the content or curriculum taught, rather the ridiculously low pass rate.

 

[Kosmik]

The only aspect I find wrong with homeschooling, is that I don't believe that any one parent/person could possibly be familiar enough and comfortable enough with all the subjects that need to be taught. Now if it was a collection of homeschool parent who took turns giving classes or kids moving around homes.... But that's pretty much a mini school in a way.