How quickly life changes

[tcofran]

So, today is the 30th of January and i have only been at work one week.

On the 13th my wife felt a lump in her left breast. we went to the Dr. on the 16th, biopsy on the 18th and a result on the 20th. Breast Cancer !!!! on the 23rd she had a mastectomy !!!! and she turned 38 on the 24th of January.

Physically she is ok'ish, but mentally she (we) is taking strain. Life is so unfair !!!!! She doesn't drink, smoke or anything, whereas i do (in moderation of course) and she gets cancer.........

thats life i suppose......

one day at a time

 

[Gadget Man]

Sorry to hear that tcofran. Hope she gets better and recovers physically.

The mental recovery is not as easy, because apart from her appearance not being normal, she has this hold over her that it may come back and mean the end. You guys have to talk about, see a therapist if you can afford to do so and if she is willing.

I wish you both a long life and a means to overcome this short term setback.

 

[Elfreako]

Sorry to hear about you troubles It seems that most people are having a difficult time at the moment in some way.

A lesson I recently learnt, try live your life the fullest and live it the way you want to.

Be strong! Good luck to you and your wife.

 

[Messugga]

Sheesh buddy, I'm sorry to hear. Cancer's one of those complete ******* diseases that often seems ridiculously unfair for people to get. My best wishes in this very difficult time for you guys.

 

[IzZzy]

Also very sorry to hear. I wish your wife a speedy recovery and I wish you the strength to support her.

 

[killadoob]

Nobody said life was fair though. Believe it or not cancer may be linked to smoking but that does not mean only smokers can get it. For me the stats seem somewhat warp.

You have cancer!!! do you smoke? Yes i do, ok put this guy down as another smoking related case. I bet if your wife smoked it would have been blamed on smoking.

What i can say is don't get stuck thinking about the negatives, your wife is alive so life is good. You should be rejoicing the fact that she isn't terminal or something along those lines. She has a long happy life ahead of her and so do you because nobody is dead and nobody is dying.

There is no point wondering why life is so unfair and blah blah, play the hand life deals you. One of my cousins died of cancer at age 8 so come on man your wife is alive, life is good.

 

[tcofran]

Nobody said life was fair though. Believe it or not cancer may be linked to smoking but that does not mean only smokers can get it. For me the stats seem somewhat warp.

You have cancer!!! do you smoke? Yes i do, ok put this guy down as another smoking related case. I bet if your wife smoked it would have been blamed on smoking.

What i can say is don't get stuck thinking about the negatives, your wife is alive so life is good. You should be rejoicing the fact that she isn't terminal or something along those lines. She has a long happy life ahead of her and so do you because nobody is dead and nobody is dying.

There is no point wondering why life is so unfair and blah blah, play the hand life deals you. One of my cousins died of cancer at age 8 so come on man your wife is alive, life is good.

i agree 100% with what you said. she is alive and doing OK. We are seeing the oncologist tomorrow to find out the way forward. They removed four glands as well, so lets hope they got everything

 

[Nocturnity]

Really sorry to hear about your wife, bud. Cancer's a biatch and I think it's important to realize that your wife's journey is a very personal one and you may not necessarily understand why she acts the way she does sometimes. Just be supportive and let her know that you're there for her.

That said, breast cancer is one of the most treatable forms of cancer and the survival rates are really, really good. Recurrence will be a concern but try not to focus on that. Focus on the positive aspects of your lives and try to do all the things you've been planning/dreaming about for years but always seem too busy for.

 

[zeb]

All the best to both of you tcofran.
BTW, does she know if it's in her side of the family, ie sisters or mother perhaps? If not, you guys should advise them to go for mammograms asap.

 

[The_Omlette]

Hang in there OP. My 60 year old mum kicked cancers ass. Your wife can too, dude! Keep the faith

 

[USZA]

Sorry to hear about your wife but, at the same time, belated greetings to her for her birthday. If she is doing OK mentally, which I just know she is because she's an Aquarian and we just have this ability to bounce back from the worst of situations, then you just support her in that. I have no doubt that you guys will get through this.

 

[maumau]

the scary thing about breast cancer must be the idea that your body's betrayed you. as far as looking good after a mastectomy i suggest you contact barclay and clegg who are the south african agents for Anita prosthetics. buy your wife a couple of nice mastectomy bras and prosthetics - they are the most comfortable and natural looking/feeling boobs you could wish for and they'll boost her confidence. depending on your medical aid you might be able to claim. BTW you have to go the the pretoria shop - they have the full range. http://www.bclingerie.co.za

 

[tcofran]

the scary thing about breast cancer must be the idea that your body's betrayed you. as far as looking good after a mastectomy i suggest you contact barclay and clegg who are the south african agents for Anita prosthetics. buy your wife a couple of nice mastectomy bras and prosthetics - they are the most comfortable and natural looking/feeling boobs you could wish for and they'll boost her confidence. depending on your medical aid you might be able to claim. BTW you have to go the the pretoria shop - they have the full range. http://www.bclingerie.co.za

Thanks for the link..... I will pop round to the brooklyn mall store and have a look. She will be going for reconstruction in about 6 months, so this should just make it look the same in the meantime, which will be good for the morale i think

 

[Venomous]

happy late birthday to her.

There are many people that's had cancer, even a few that posted theirs on myBB. She & you should speak to people & hear how they moved forward. Then you can find your way to move forward together.

Be strong, there'll be many tomorrows still....

 

[tcofran]

Thanks for all the inputs / advice and well wishes. I dont know any of you guys / girls, but i just know that all the well wishes are genuine, and that is why i like MyBB so much.

 

[Pavan]

All the best to you and your family tcofran - you will be in our prayers.

Be the best husband you can be, and be all the support she needs and more.

 

[Wall]

All the best, hope everything works out

 

[wrathex]

The 'cancer' process happens frighteningly fast, once it has been diagnosed.

I'm honestly still reeling from shock, and I imagine so does everyone who unfortunately gets cancer.
I live in daze, and you summed it up well, How quickly life changes.

Take good care of yourself, so that you remain a pillar of strength and support for your wife, and know that you have supportive friends out here.

 

[MR.C]

Life takes different roads and paths but we can't forsee it as we only plan the good things and good days. Sorry to hear about her/your loss but like its been mentioned, your got your wife so don't be too down about it.
Life is short and we all know it but we don't prepare for the hereafter cos this world has too much materialitic meaning for us. Look at things in a different light and see what God has given us, there's millions of miracles in our bodies at every second but we don't realise it until things go wrong.

Happy belated birthday to her, can't really imagine what she going through and what's crossing her mind but I saw a vid clip (lost the link) of a guy without arms and legs and the positivity that he radiates, unbelievable. Will try to post if for you, it gives perspective as to how negative we are about every setback.

Got her to smile at every possible moment.

 

[Nocturnity]

MR.C's post reminded me... There are some excellent videos on youtube about positive thoughts from fellow survivors. It might be a good idea to find a few and show them to her.