How to **** off your sysadmin

As an ex sysadmin.

1. Being asked to fix the fluorescent lights. (FFS. If it doesn't have a network cable attached its not my problem!)
2. Being asked stupid questions. (eg. Does the CD go in shiny side up or down - this really happened!)
3. Being asked to move office furniture around (as if we're not busy enough?)
4. Oh, and especially this:
cryptol said:
about 2 or more weeks after your sysadmin fixes something (eg. Internet Browser), go to them claiming that something else just broke (eg. word processor) and that it is their fault as they were the last person to "fix" something on your computer.
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5. Tell him finance is cutting his budget. (so he has to buy cheap equipment that will constantly fail)
 
grim said:
No, you think you know most of his job...
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I do.
Cause when they upgrade a web server box, I have to be there and take responsibility, even though I'm just a dev.

And then PHP stops working(which reinstalling IIS and then PHP via the web platform installer fixes). And then after a while miraculously all the .Net dll's for all the. Net web services disappear(which we did not know at the time), and it becomes my job to fix(bear in mind I have no access to the server, nor internet access on the PC used to remote in, so no Googling for help). I go and ask the sysadmin what changed, he gets pissed off(I'm interrupting some super 15 game after all) and deletes the entire inetpub folder and starts restoring a backed up one. By which time I walked away
 
  1. Where's the GUI on this thing?
  2. I have never seen it do *that* before.
  3. Well, my files were backed up...
  4. What does it mean 'No such file or directory'?
  5. Can't you load this patch while the system is up?
  6. What software license?
  7. But it read a file from it yesterday!
  8. Well, I hit ALT-F6, Shift-F8, CNTRL-f10, F4, and F9, and now it looks all weird...
  9. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!
  10. First I sat down, like this. Then I logged on, like this, and after that, I typed in my password, like this, and after that I edited me file, like this, and after that I went to this line here, like this, and after that I picked my nose, like this...
 
Napalm2880 said:
As an ex sysadmin.

1. Being asked to fix the fluorescent lights. (FFS. If it doesn't have a network cable attached its not my problem!)
2. Being asked stupid questions. (eg. Does the CD go in shiny side up or down - this really happened!)
3. Being asked to move office furniture around (as if we're not busy enough?)
4. Oh, and especially this:

5. Tell him finance is cutting his budget. (so he has to buy cheap equipment that will constantly fail)
Click to expand...

Made me think of that joke:
Q: How many software developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It is a hardware problem.
 
Step 1: Play a prank on a colleague: eg. turn screen upside down, run a joke program, or put masking tape under the mouse
Step 2: Don`t fix it yourself, Let tech support come down 3 floors to fix it
 
At my previous company I had a call logged asking how long the air conditioners were going to be down. This was very surprising seeing as I was the sysadmin. I replied that I have no idea since I'm not in the maintenance department. I then got called in to the IT managers office and told that if a call gets logged I have to get the answer and reply with the correct info.

I didn't stay on that site for long.
 
Jabberwocky said:
Step 1: Play a prank on a colleague: eg. turn screen upside down, run a joke program, or put masking tape under the mouse
Step 2: Don`t fix it yourself, Let tech support come down 3 floors to fix it
Click to expand...

If you have time and are really bored.
Take a screenshot of their desktop then flip the image with paint or what ever.
Save image
Hide all desktop shortcuts and the task bar and set flipped image as wallpaper.
then flip Screen (CTRL + ALT + Down Arrow)
Watch the chaos

Did this and watched as the junior techs couldn't figure out what the H*ll happened had to stop them from re-preping the machine
Their boss had a good laugh lucky he didn't report me :D
 
Most of this doesn't sound like sys admin but general IT support? I don't or wouldn't do half of this stuff. Our IT department handles all the general IT queries, we handle all the backend systems.
 
isie said:
If you have time and are really bored.
Take a screenshot of their desktop then flip the image with paint or what ever.
Save image
Hide all desktop shortcuts and the task bar and set flipped image as wallpaper.
then flip Screen (CTRL + ALT + Down Arrow)
Watch the chaos

Did this and watched as the junior techs couldn't figure out what the H*ll happened had to stop them from re-preping the machine
Their boss had a good laugh lucky he didn't report me :D
Click to expand...

Old school. Had a friend who worked at Grintek during the 80's. Engineer doing work for the Navy. He and his office mate kept on playing pranks on each other.They were sitting facing each other. He brought in a magnet on a stick, would wait untill the guy is busy, then stick it under the desk towards his side. The old style CRT image would go crazy. Took his buddy a week to figure out what was wrong.

Next monday my friend came in, booted up his trusty pc. The image on the screen came up upside down. Now this was pre Windows. He sat there trying to figure out what was going on. Some kind of graphics driver or something. Meanwhile his buddy is grinning his head off over a coffee. Eventually he gave up, flipped the entire monitor upside down and got to work.
Two weeks later he finally admits defeat. His buddy gets up, switches off the pc, unclips the front of the monitor, unclips the CRT and rotates it 180 before clipping it back in...
 
cryptol said:
about 2 or more weeks after your sysadmin fixes something (eg. Internet Browser), go to them claiming that something else just broke (eg. word processor) and that it is their fault as they were the last person to "fix" something on your computer.
Click to expand...

Yeah, because we somehow caused the fault in the last two weeks of NOT touching their effing PC.

InvisibleJim said:
Don't forget the old classic

echo "My brother's neighbour's auntie's dog's previous owner is an expert in IT and he said". $insertstatementthatyouaredoingitwronghere;
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Grrrrrr - then why don't they effing fix it and stop wasting my time?

supersunbird said:
5 minutes before knock off time report that *whatever * hasn't been working the whole day and you urgently need to use it now for something a *VVIP* needs.

If asked why you didn't report it earlier, say because you were busy while they saw you sitting around lazing about a lot during the day...
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My Skype stopped working two weeks ago, and I have a conference call at 17h30, says them telling you at 16h55
 
When i was working in gov dept some things that get called for
Can u pls help the microwave dont work
User---What is my email password me --- i left is blank for you user --- i tried blank it dont work me--- counting to ten before i loose my sh@t. No sir i ment there is no password you dont have to type in anything.
Why is this light blinking so much in front of the computernare you hacking me.
I wanna email a 500gig clip to my manager
Why do you IT guys drink so much coffee, well madam its a wonderfull elixir it keeps me from killing you
 
Lupus said:
Most of this doesn't sound like sys admin but general IT support? I don't or wouldn't do half of this stuff. Our IT department handles all the general IT queries, we handle all the backend systems.
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Yup, another one: Ask a sysadmin or dba to do general tech support for you, +20 points if you are senior management.
 
Lupus said:
Most of this doesn't sound like sys admin but general IT support? I don't or wouldn't do half of this stuff. Our IT department handles all the general IT queries, we handle all the backend systems.
Click to expand...

We have what I consider a small network (about 50/60 pc's) so I do the whole IT thing along with my normal jobs. Only thing I don't do any more (because I am a lazy bastard) is physically lay cables.
I get someone else to do that then pop the plugs on an connect as needed.
 
I had a call logged to urgently replace the toilet paper in the mens bathroom once. I put a page from the newspaper in each stall and said "Temporary work around implemented. Suggest getting 3rd party supplier involved to resolve issue permanently!"
 
ChocolateBadger said:
Point out that the specs on the new computers don't match the invoice.
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lol, I usually tell people that point this out to me the truth (you are very low in the heirarchy, you have lots of old parts that came out of computers that are more important than you are).
Simply because I consider any upgrade to be a good reason to upgrade the designers and use their spares for whoever the upgrade is going to :)
 
AstroTurf said:
lol, I usually tell people that point this out to me the truth (you are very low in the heirarchy, you have lots of old parts that came out of computers that are more important than you are).
Simply because I consider any upgrade to be a good reason to upgrade the designers and use their spares for whoever the upgrade is going to :)
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Not when their are fully built PC's for the business. The fault usually lies with the git who ordered or the git who delivered. We ordered i7's for our designers and had Celerons delivered. Never heard a guy so angry on the phone before especially after I pointed it out after they were set up.
 
phone the guy up and tell him your file folders were looking a bit cluttered so you used format to rearrange them, now you've just got a black screen and nothing happens (happened in the good old DOS days)
 
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