How to you handle constant set-backs?

Just got to get back up, brush yourself off, and carry on. Nothing else to do really.
 
Someone here mentioned once that the people that seem to be happy go lucky put themselves in that position and I'm inclined to agree with whoever it was. You create your own destiny and positive people attract positive energy if I could call it that. Nobody likes being around a negative person, not that I'm saying you are. Hell, there are stupid clueless people out there that do better than people just working their asses off.
 
Last year wasn't all that great for me either, so I decided to just take things one day at a time, it works. Don't dwell to much in the past, but also don't look too far into the future, one day at a time until you are back on your feet. Also, try to find time to do something that relaxes you, something that doesn't cost money, just to get your head out of the ratrace. Also, the positive attitude works well, try and be happy and smile as much as you can, even when you don't feel like it, most of the times when we are sad, we tend to think about all the negatives, which just get us more down, try to think positive as much as possible. Oh and even if you don't succeed in being happy every day, don't give up. One last thing :D my one friend once told me, if we can't be happy where we are in life at this moment, we will struggle to ever be happy, this helped me a lot!

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Nokkie said:
How to you handle constant set-backs? please change the spelling - Ps this is how I handle a set-back
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By knocking someone who is down so you can feel better about your life? ;)

@OP best of luck!

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Seriously now, learn from the setback. Come back fighting.

Having an understanding husband/wife also helps.

Just remember, as long as your head is standing up between your shoulders, don't stop fighting
 
I feel like a heavyweight boxer in the ring with no referee being pounded each time I try to get up. I know it's important to just push through but it really does feel as if, regardless of how much effort you put into something, you WILL be knocked down each and every time... and then my brain shouts out "THEN WHY THE **** EVEN BOTHER"...

I don't have an understanding wife or girlfriend (bitches be crazy), but at least I have my parents. Without them I wouldn't have been able to survive... but even that makes me uneasy because I don't want to rely on them for anything, something which I'm forced to right now.
 
AcidRaZor said:
I feel like a heavyweight boxer in the ring with no referee being pounded each time I try to get up. I know it's important to just push through but it really does feel as if, regardless of how much effort you put into something, you WILL be knocked down each and every time... and then my brain shouts out "THEN WHY THE **** EVEN BOTHER"...

I don't have an understanding wife or girlfriend (bitches be crazy), but at least I have my parents. Without them I wouldn't have been able to survive... but even that makes me uneasy because I don't want to rely on them for anything, something which I'm forced to right now.
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Sounds like you have it tough, dude :/ well firstly, your parents brought you into this world so lean on them for support as long as you need it and when you are ready to get back up again you can do so. The biggest problem however, and I say this without being mean or anything is most likely your attitude. I know its not always easy to stay positive but you have to try, like the one guy who said he went to buy a couch even though things were going bad, he chose to lift his attitude beyond his circumstances. I'm not saying you should go buy a couch, just try and be as happy as you can in your situation, work on your problems one at a time as opposed to trying to overcome it all at once. You can pm me if you want to talk about something dude! The batches be crazy comment is funny haha :D dont say that to a girlfriend or wife though :/

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I can't advise you how to cope, we each find our own way, but I can tell you, that I have survived horrible traumas over many years. (I survived, but I'll never be the same, there is nothing naive about the way I see the world, after all the events I've been through I've gained a pretty good insight into human psyche)

I am no longer a normal human, maybe I never was, but trauma changes you, over time, I have come to not rely on other people, to trust nobody and to stay away from people who irritate me.

I coped by making topics of interest a focus point, I read to escape reality, I also smoke to escape reality, I was a recluse for ten years - trauma induced, and am now making a comeback, and it's not working out that well, I find most of the people I meet, are very nice people, but they have very little to say - I am not a social group dweller, but I am trying, maybe 2011 will be better.

There's an old saying: " what does not kill you, makes you stronger " - I agree with this, you have a choice, you can either find very temporary ways of copying or take the hard long road, which is to realise that: you are a survivor, you will get through it and life goes on whether you are capable or not. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself for a while, to work through the issues that besiege you, but you don't throw in the towel, you have to carry on, get to know yourself better, and try and avoid future scenarios that wreck your inner peace.

There was never a silver spoon for me, and now in hindsight I understand the value of the fights I have fought, the strengths I have gained.

You are not alone, the world is in turmoil, general and personal suffering is everywhere and rife, take good care of yourself, find the things that sooth you and focus on that, forgive and let go of those who hinder or hurt you, move forwards and be true to yourself - do not pander to the requirements other people have of you.

After everything, I stand centered and calm, around me the world rages ;)
 
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The last line reveals you need an attitude adjustment. Fix whatever is eating you and people will be more willing to help you.
 
Friend told me "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay it's not the end"

I quite like that.
 
AcidRaZor said:
Another thing that annoys me is to see how many other people just seem to have things handed to them on a silver platter.
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This is a fallacy.

Everyone has problems - even those people whose lives seem close to perfect. People wear masks, they do not tell the world everything. You look at them and only see what they choose to show you.

Life works in continuous cycles ......... I like this saying from the Buddhists - "If things are going bad, trust me, it won't last forever. If things are going well, trust me, it won't last forever." :)

All the best.
 
Lounger said:
The "end" being when you die?
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No, the end of your problem

blunomore said:
This is a fallacy.

Everyone has problems - even those people whose lives seem close to perfect. People wear masks, they do not tell the world everything. You look at them and only see what they choose to show you.

Life works in continuous cycles ......... I like this saying from the Buddhists - "If things are going bad, trust me, it won't last forever. If things are going well, trust me, it won't last forever." :)

All the best.
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So Paris Hilton, with all that money and fame and a sex tape (so not much to discover there) has...what problems? Too much paparazzi? Too many choices of what to wear for the day? Have to yell at the chef for putting food on her plate that's not 100% organic?

I'd REALLY love to know what problem she'll have that is so big you'll lie awake at night worrying about how you're going to cope the next day.

Sure, maybe she has a drug problem (would explain a lot), but even if she gets arrested several times for it (and possession) the worst that can happen is she gets sent to rehab (Lindsey Lohan). "Oh I have daddy issues" *everyone* has issues sure, but she doesn't need to think twice before going out and buying the new line of Gucci/Prada shoes. Hell, one pair of her shoes would set me up for a month.

But yea... they wear masks and have issues. Definitely not money issues
 
Mate, life is ups and downs. I had a really **** year last year. I mean bones of my arse bad.

Right now I can't seem to **** up. My biggest problem right now is trying to relax and enjoy being able to relax and enjoy.

Its all mind set. You can be just as happy or unhappy with or without money. In my experience things tend to go your way when you start accepting and dealing with things as they are right now rather than worrying about the future.

Just breathe and relax.
 
barney-stinson-awesome-quote.jpg


By not being a pansy about it. Unless you're talking clinical depression or some other verifiable disorder happiness is as easy or as difficult a choice as you make it. If you are talking clinical depression or some other verifiable disorder, get help.
 
Been threatening(to myself) to quit my job for months now as I'm unhappy. Woke up this morning felt like turning around and crying myself to sleep rather then going to work:P instead i got up got dressed drove to work and I quit. I'm about 50% scared and excited but I'm confident that I'm gonna sort things out. Spent the last 2 years somewhere inbetween depression or not caring(personal loss messed me up a bit) and doing what others wanted instead of what makes me happy.

So I'll start today and i'll do what makes me happy. Only thing you can do to handle set backs is get up and move on, depression doesnt work, medication doesnt work, drinking doesnt work, dumping youre problems on a friend or gf doesnt work either. Short of ranting on a forum or writing the ***** down in a journal you just need to get your mindset right.

Edit:I meant the writing and forum posts is a good way of getting things off your chest, this helps more times than not just to make you feel like your not the only one with these problems. Hang in there!:)
 
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