how u chage a selfish person

So perhaps he could gain financially from a divorce? In that case he really does need to find his balls.
 
If she doesn't want to contribute financially but is earning more then it is clear that is a toxic relationship and she is using him (unless he doesn't have a job and is trying to use her). Now to try and make up the time I spent re - reading that last sentence.
 
blunomore said:
So if she expects him to pay for everything, what does she do with her money (salary) ?
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she spends on clothes and herself and pays for a plot she bought and because her bussiness is doing well she wants to go on holiday but ... not with him but her cousins , she buys stuff to make her happy but when he does try and shows her affectionate and does buys her shoes its not good enough .. oh yes i remeber now she told him that she lost the love and respect for him
its also his 1st love but when they 1st started she had no money but she worked hard for it but now the tables have turns and because he started new bussiness his cash strapped and battling what do i tell him ?
 
Get a divorce. Would save you both (assuming she's actually your wife) a lifetime of trouble. Life's too short to spend it sharing a bed with garbage.
 
confused GP said:
she spends on clothes and herself and pays for a plot she bought and because her bussiness is doing well she wants to go on holiday but ... not with him but her cousins , she buys stuff to make her happy but when he does try and shows her affectionate and does buys her shoes its not good enough .. oh yes i remeber now she told him that she lost the love and respect for him what do i tell him ?
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"she told him that she lost the love and respect for him" are you kidding me, tell him to divorce. Period.
 
yes i wonder what happend to 'till death do us apart ' and love and main thing is SHARING and the togetherness ?but she so selfish she goes out and buys clothes to make her happy i think and she very materialistic buys stuff and use it once and dont ever see it agian how do you tell her as a friend that shes destroying my friend ?
 
confused GP said:
yes i wonder what happend to 'till death do us apart ' and love and main thing is SHARING and the togetherness ?but she so selfish she goes out and buys clothes to make her happy i think and she very materialistic buys stuff and use it once and dont ever see it agian how do you tell her as a friend that shes destroying my friend ?
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Firstly, there are two people in a relationship. Both need to be willing to make it work. If only one person is bearing the burden of two people, then the relationship will fail and, sorry, already has.

You don't. It's not your place. Your friend and his dear wife need to figure it out for themselves. All you can do is be there for your friend when it goes to hell. Which it will.
 
i havent been in contact a few weeks with him but spoke to him this afternoon and said to me that she filed already for seperation grounds and that doesnt , cant belive this women any more , hes heartbroken what do i do hesmy friend / brother if he gets it right im affraid that he would be paying for the rest of his life and u cant live like that he ll end up with nothing he has everything going for him now except relationship / marriage / divorce and how do u heal if thing go sour ?
 
confused GP said:
i havent been in contact a few weeks with him but spoke to him this afternoon and said to me that she filed already for seperation grounds and that doesnt , cant belive this women any more , hes heartbroken what do i do hesmy friend / brother if he gets it right im affraid that he would be paying for the rest of his life and u cant live like that he ll end up with nothing he has everything going for him now except relationship / marriage / divorce and how do u heal if thing go sour ?
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While I've never been married, I spent four years in a relationship which meant the world to me and ended a while back. How I did it? Time heals all wounds. My ex was replaced by a younger, sexier and much more loving model ;)

I've gone from a continually argumentative relationship to one that makes me wake up every day feeling happy to be alive.

Again, life is too short to spend it sharing a bed with garbage. Sooner you cut the cancer out, the better :)
 
i know she like sweet poison i did tell him it will get better hes only 30 but cant seem to let go but to her its a joke and hes regretting all the things he could he done with her , but when he spoke to her she said it was too late and its over cause ill always do better than you in life ill always win and mark my words .. did money change this women and her ego gone through her heard cause this is not the same women he told me about 5 years ago when he married her ?
 
confused GP said:
i know she like sweet poison i did tell him it will get better hes only 30 but cant seem to let go but to her its a joke and hes regretting all the things he could he done with her , but when he spoke to her she said it was too late and its over cause ill always do better than you in life ill always win and mark my words .. did money change this women and her ego gone through her heard cause this is not the same women he told me about 5 years ago when he married her ?
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Oh, people are always the same inside. Sometimes they just show you a different face, but as time passes the façade crumbles and you see the monster behind it :p
 
any solutions here because i dont think i could reason with her ..if i had to call her myself
 
What do you mean? Solution? She filed for separation. The prob is your friend is hurting and you wanna help him out. Here is the advice. Trying to speak to her might come back to bite you on the @ss. Most importantly is the fact that she changed and wants nothing to do with your friend. So be a friend and spend time with the guy while he is in pain. He will get over her in time
 
z@ng3tsu said:
What do you mean? Solution? She filed for separation. The prob is your friend is hurting and you wanna help him out. Here is the advice. Trying to speak to her might come back to bite you on the @ss. Most importantly is the fact that she changed and wants nothing to do with your friend. So be a friend and spend time with the guy while he is in pain. He will get over her in time
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i spoke to her last last night and she said that" she is happy and independant and don`t need a man in her life " but still see in my brother now and agian.Get the feeling that she is using him , making him pay dearly.


When i spoke to my brother last night He said we was on and off with her for the past 3 months living on his own and she at ther moms place, but some times he used to sleep over.

Yes she has changed but i dont understand why does she invite him over and still sleep with him when she feels like it , Its tormenting the poor dude , playing mind games and feelings are getting hurt by him.

she tells all her family its over with him but , yet he still sleeps over and eats there , once her sister told her " i see you having an affair with your ex and lied to the family in CPT " she just took off with her .

IS this women emotional using him ?
 
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Seriously? Of course she is using him. How much you want to bet that she is busy on the side and wanting to see how that works out before she makes up her mind. The sleeping with your bro is her covering her bases in case it doesnt work out. Either way your bro is buggered. She leaves him for another guy and he is devastated.. Or worse she comes back to him and he takes her back which means he is stuck with her.
 
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