How's Tinder these days?

I left the dating apps for Instagram. Still a numbers game though at the end of the day.
 
r4nd0m said:
You make it seem like approaching a woman is taboo but fail to realize this is ingrained in our biology. It's how we form bonds and relationships.
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Lol. This is some pickup bullshit. Randomly approaching women (such as at the store) to speak to them with the hope of dating/mating with them is not ingrained in our biology and is about as likely to work out as flipping a coin.

The reality is that most people met each other through social networks. For example, school, college, church, clubs, friendship groups, work, etc. These were environments where you could at least have some idea of what the person was like before you got involved with them. However, it's becoming increasingly less acceptable and "risky" to do this. Anecdotal example: I never EVER got involved with someone when I worked with them because I had seen the fallout it can cause (both professional and personally), and I always needed money more than I needed to get laid/find a gf/partner.

That being said, the best place to meet someone is still face-to-face, you just need to have a valid reason to be in the same space as the other person, such as being part of the same club. When I was younger, I would also have said one of the best places to meet people is working in specific retail/service industries. I worked at a book store and to this day I kick myself for having no confidence and being too worried about negative consequences, but only in one specific situation: when female customers were clearly chatting me up. Two of the most attractive women I have ever met made every excuse to "get help" from me or hang around after I was done serving them but I was too poep scared since I had zero experience with women at the time.

But ya, putting yourself out there is a bit different from approaching women at random, no matter how polite you are.
 
r4nd0m said:
Okay.
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How do you know I never tried it?

r4nd0m said:
Yeah, sorry mate, you can't really comment. Stick to what works for you.
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Lol. Sure, and you can?

If you have pretty privilege, random approaches might work out for you more than most, but for those of us who are average looking to maybe slightly above average, random approaches are generally speaking coin flips.
 
zolly said:
How do you know I never tried it?
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Fair point, but you just admitted you had no confidence to do so.

If you have tried it and it didn't work for you, well then okay, but maybe work on how you approach and identify any errors you might be making. You have a GF I believe, so you've done something right.

zolly said:
Lol. Sure, and you can?

If you have pretty privilege, random approaches might work out for you more than most, but for those of us who are average looking to maybe slightly above average, random approaches are generally speaking coin flips.
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Yes, which is why I don't waste time with dating apps and the like.

I'm not handsome, but not hideous either. An average Joe with disability, but somehow women are welcoming to my advances. Again, my disability might be working for me - I can't say.

I found that when I start talking to them, they are warm and friendly most times. Even if I take the direct approach and admit I came over because she's hot (btw use the word beautiful, not hot) and wanted her number, even if she questions my motives, I am able to get around that by just being honest and logical.

I am an introvert as previously stated. I know no 'game' or PUA strategies, but I know what those consist of. I am able to calmly talk my way into knowing her. Doesn't always work, but then again, I am not invested. The outcome doesn't matter.
 
r4nd0m said:
Fair point, but you just admitted you had no confidence to do so.
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Yes, but even I got to the point where I tried the stuff I read online a few times. Even when I wasn't nervous as hell, let's just say at best I got a polite "sorry I am not looking" or "I have a boyfriend" once or twice. On the other hand I mostly got some really strange looks and aggressive "leave me alone" responses and knew that was my cue to gtfo.

r4nd0m said:
I'm not handsome, but not hideous either. An average Joe with disability, but somehow women are welcoming to my advances. Again, my disability might be working for me - I can't say.
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If your disability is easily identifiable, then it's entirely possible you get bonus sympathy points so you wouldn't get as harsh a reaction as most men would. Most strange men are viewed potentially as threats, especially in SA, but if your disability negates that then maybe you come off as "less threatening".
 
r4nd0m said:
You have a GF I believe, so you've done something right.
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My strategy became this: put my cards on the table and then walk away. Saved me a lot of time and energy. The woman that eventually became my partner actually rejected me at first and then came around a couple of months later. That being said, I used this mostly with online dating. There were way more women who were interested in me when I worked in retail, and even when I would meet new women on a weekly basis after I quit that job, it was because of community organisation I ran so it felt weird using it as a way to meet a partner.

I did however also help an old friend get with a girl he liked at work using this method. They worked in separate departments but spent time together. I actually got to meet her and she was definitely curious about the potential of being more than friends with him from what I could tell.

I pretty much told him not to **** where you eat, but that if he really liked her and was willing to take the chance he should tell her and that if she was interested she should let him know. And then came the most important part: leave her the **** alone. Give her the space to come to you. If she likes you she might say yes, but even if she does she might still say no. Lots of barriers to romance in the workplace. She actually shot him down at first then called him after hours a week later and asked him if he wanted to go out. Not sure if they're still together but yeah, last time I checked they were still going strong.
 
saor said:
Up to 15 now. When I was paid I wasn't getting anywhere near this. Which is fine - they can rig the system in their favour however they want. Got one match today so we'll see if a conversation actually materializes. Ja Bumble was far too expensive.

View attachment 1423205
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There's a trick to see who these people are on a browser
 
zolly said:
Even when I wasn't nervous as hell, let's just say at best I got a polite "sorry I am not looking" or "I have a boyfriend" once or twice.
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Nothing wrong with this. I've gotten it too, but it was politely said, and the exchange was brief.

zolly said:
On the other hand I mostly got some really strange looks and aggressive "leave me alone" responses and knew that was my cue to gtfo.
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Never got this hey. Never aggressive, maybe at the most disinterested.

zolly said:
If your disability is easily identifiable, then it's entirely possible you get bonus sympathy points so you wouldn't get as harsh a reaction as most men would. Most strange men are viewed potentially as threats, especially in SA, but if your disability negates that then maybe you come off as "less threatening".
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It does make sense, so you might have a point here. Yeah, I have to use a crutch to walk sometimes.

So you know what to do right? Go out there and break a leg. :laugh:
 
  • Haha
Reactions: zll
Tinder = one night stands if you are in top 10% of guys

Okcupid = chat for months meaning woman can pick the best based on endless chat and view guys as pickup artists because of this. Also used by girls that are 4/10 and lower to get friends with benefits

Any Travel friend websites including couchsurfing= mutual agreed sex after meeting. selected initially for free accomodation only based on sexual attractiveness

Just my experience.
 
skimread said:
Okcupid = chat for months meaning woman can pick the best who chose and view guys as pickup artists. Also used by girls that are 4/10 and lower to get friends with benefits
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I remember the original OkCupid. That site rocked in the early days. People actually had profiles.

Now they've tinder'fied it and put monetization above everything else.
 
r4nd0m said:
I remember the original OkCupid. That site rocked in the early days. People actually had profiles.

Now they've tinder'fied it and put monetization above everything else.
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okcupid use to be good as you could do a lot on the free tier. Now you to have to pay for everything because the parent company wants to montize and make money once they buy over a site and it becomes popular.

match.com bought over all these dating sites and own some of the biggest i.e. match.com, tinder, okcupid, plenty of fish etc

Match Group - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

The most difficult thing with a dating site is getting users and making sure people use it and spammers don't while still making some money
 
Remember that site that use to be embedded in news24 and iol?

www.datingbuzz.co.za

Online Dating with DatingBuzz South Africa's Personal Ads

South Africa's Leading Online Dating Service. DatingBuzz South Africa provides a secure, hassle-free environment where people can meet to form new online relationships. Whether you're looking for new friends, a quick soiree in the world of online dating, or the love of your life, you're sure to...
www.datingbuzz.co.za www.datingbuzz.co.za

That's another that is used by mostly old people because they use those sites to read news.
 
/Random observations.

1.) The last two weeks I've seen a bunch of profiles like this. Almost model looking shots, stated age late 30's but looks more like late 20's, Eastern European vibes on some of them, fuckall bio.

1.jpg2.jpg

2.) Asian girls. I've seen maybe one profile with normal pictures. The rest are almost entirely all make-up glamour shots again with fuckall bio info.

3.) Yeah great deal...

gt.jpg
 
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