Hypothetical Abortion Scenario

Ecstatic Universe

Ecstatic Universe

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Some background:
Dating a year.
Have sex without condom a few times.
Always careful when doing so, always cautious.
This one time though.... something may have happened...
Let's say she wants to keep the kid, I don't.
I am pro-choice (as long as it's before the fetal stage) but seeing as it's still under 7-8 weeks, I say we should get an abortion, she doesn't want to. She wants to keep the child and have the child etc.

The fetal stage extends from the beginning of the ninth week after fertilization to about 38 weeks after fertilization, which is the average time of birth. The fetal stage lasts a total of approximately 30 weeks.
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If both of us signed an affidavit stating that I didn't / don't want the kid, would that be usable in a court of law if say it came to that at a later stage? Say I left and refused to pay child support because I didn't want the kid. Bear in mind this is a hypothetical situation thanks to a recent pregnancy scare.

Additional info:
I am pro abortion / pro-choice as long as it's before the 10th week of pregnancy.
I don't want to hear anything about morality or "god-given-right-to-life" arguments. I guess this is a law advice question, as it is certainly not a morality question.
I am not very familiar with South African abortion laws and should probably get to do some reading.
 
Simple answer - her body her choice.
If you are the father and didnt use protection then you knew the risks and are now responsible.

If she is pregnant and decides to keep the child this is no longer just about you - there will be a little person with your DNA in the very near future who didn't have a choice and deserves to be looked after by both parents.
 
Ecstatic Universe said:
If both of us signed an affidavit stating that I didn't / don't want the kid, would that be usable in a court of law if say it came to that at a later stage? Say I left and refused to pay child support because I didn't want the kid.
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Nope, can't sign a contract that goes against a higher law. Same as if you signed a contract allowing someone to kill you, it's still murder.
 
Ecstatic Universe said:
If both of us signed an affidavit stating that I didn't / don't want the kid, would that be usable in a court of law if say it came to that at a later stage? Say I left and refused to pay child support because I didn't want the kid. Bear in mind this is a hypothetical situation thanks to a recent pregnancy scare.
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Nope. You have no rights in this situation.

She can abort the child without asking you or consulting you, for any reason she wants, as long as it is in the first trimester.

But if you would like her to abort the child, there is nothing you can do. No choice you can make will remove your obligation to pay child support.

Also, I missed that you said "both of us". Even if she did sign it, which I think is highly unlikely, it would mean nothing. She could change her mind and you'd be on the hook.
 
Yup, you are stuck in this one.
Its one of those unfortunate things that can happen when you dont use protection.
If she has the kid then you will be a parent and you will be forced to pay support.

From the sounds of things your relationship is taking some strain because of this, or it will be soon. Its one of those things you need to consider before deciding against protection, do I want this person around for the rest of my life?
Sure you dont need to get married, but if you have a kid together then you are going to be seeing them for a long time regardless of whether you are together or not.
 
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OCP said:
Simple answer - her body her choice.
If you are the father and didnt use protection then you knew the risks and are now responsible.

If she is pregnant and decides to keep the child this is no longer just about you - there will be a little person with your DNA in the very near future who didn't have a choice and deserves to be looked after by both parents.
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Morally, that's wrong. He has just as much say as she does. Legally though, she can do whatever she wants.
 
ScottulusMaximus said:
Nope, can't sign a contract that goes against a higher law. Same as if you signed a contract allowing someone to kill you, it's still murder.
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Murder is a strong word to use here, but thanks for the response.

Ancalagon said:
Nope. You have no rights in this situation.

She can abort the child without asking you or consulting you, for any reason she wants, as long as it is in the first trimester.

But if you would like her to abort the child, there is nothing you can do. No choice you can make will remove your obligation to pay child support.

Also, I missed that you said "both of us". Even if she did sign it, which I think is highly unlikely, it would mean nothing. She could change her mind and you'd be on the hook.
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Damn and just when I said no moral talk. Yeah, it's pretty ****ed up how the guy cannot have say in this whole ordeal. It's like @The_Ogre mentioned below.

Rocket-Boy said:
Yup, you are stuck in this one.
Its one of those unfortunate things that can happen when you dont use protection.
If she has the kid then you will be a parent and you will be forced to pay support.

From the sounds of things your relationship is taking some strain because of this, or it will be soon. Its one of those things you need to consider before deciding against protection, do I want this person around for the rest of my life?
Sure you dont need to get married, but if you have a kid together then you are going to be seeing them for a long time regardless of whether you are together or not.
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Not necessarily, this is just a hypothetical for now. Something that crossed my mind recently as I had a scare. It's not that I don't want a child, it's just that I am not sure if I want the child now and with this person.

The_Ogre said:
Morally, that's wrong. He has just as much say as she does. Legally though, she can do whatever she wants.
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Thanks for this, agree completely.
 
OCP said:
Simple answer - her body her choice.
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What a crock of ****.
It takes two people to make a kid.
It's probably gonna take the two of them to raise it.

This 'her body her choice' thing is so dumb. What, it's impossible for two people to discuss something and reach an agreement together?
 
There are cases where men donated sperm to women with signed contracts. But they didn't use sperm banks, so it was someone they knew. Despite having a signed contract, these men were done for child support. So yeah, no agreement will hold up.

There was even a case in America where a boy under 18 was raped by a woman, and he was forced to pay child support.

The law is clear - men don't get to change their minds, but women can change their minds at any time.
 
<michael_jackson_popcorn.webm>

Though seriously the best form of control is abstinence. 100% non-failure rate.
 
saor said:
What a crock of ****.
It takes two people to make a kid.
It's probably gonna take the two of them to raise it.

This 'her body her choice' thing is so dumb. What, it's impossible for two people to discuss something and reach an agreement together?
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They did say it was the simple answer, not necessarily the most correct one.

I don't think men value their reproductive privileges the same way women do. The biological nature of things just doesn't support that.

It would be great to talk about this fairly and rationally, but I don't see things changing until something drastic happens in the relationship market.

I don't see men changing either, because that reproductive drive is strong and very innate. It would take some actualization to get a man to think beyond those things.
 
r4nd0m said:
They did say it was the simple answer, not necessarily the most correct one.
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Ja, sorry for the reaction @OCP . I just find it strange that we use a happenstance of biology (where the kid develops) to determine who gets to make the decision. If we fertilized eggs like frogs then we'd probably have both parties having a more equal say in things.

And I think we need to move in that direction of both parties making the decision rather than letting biology decide. Because biology isn't going to pay the bills and raise the kid and be there in times of need - that's gonna take both parents (usually).
 
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