Hypothetical Abortion Scenario

saor said:
What a crock of ****.
It takes two people to make a kid.
It's probably gonna take the two of them to raise it.

This 'her body her choice' thing is so dumb. What, it's impossible for two people to discuss something and reach an agreement together?
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I agree and in a perfect world the law should be fair (yeah right) and couples always plan and agree on these decisions.
 
The_Ogre said:
I think he means he pulled out or timed her ovulation.

I can tell you now, after two kids who were both unplanned, that kak doesn't work :thumbsdown:
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Lol at guys who think they can consistently make logical decisions mid-orgasm.
 
saor said:
Ja, sorry for the reaction @OCP . I just find it strange that we use a happenstance of biology (where the kid develops) to determine who gets to make the decision. If we fertilized eggs like frogs then we'd probably have both parties having a more equal say in things.

And I think we need to move in that direction of both parties making the decision rather than letting biology decide. Because biology isn't going to pay the bills and raise the kid and be there in times of need - that's gonna take both parents (usually).
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No worries - all good.

As a parent of 2 planned kids I have strong feelings about the rights of kids and the responsibilitis of the parents that brought them into the world. (Planned or not)

I completely agree the current law is unfair and both parents should have equal say on something that will be a lifelong commitment. As to what the answer or solution would be... that's tricky as there is no single hard and fast answer and there are so many different permutations.
 
The term "equal say" is kind of hard when you have an even number of votes because what do you do when it's a stale mate as is the case with OP. One has to have more of a say than the other and imho it's fair that the women gets this.

It's easy for a male to call for an abortion when they are not the ones that have to physically go through it.
 
Ecstatic Universe said:
If both of us signed an affidavit stating that I didn't / don't want the kid, would that be usable in a court of law if say it came to that at a later stage? Say I left and refused to pay child support because I didn't want the kid. Bear in mind this is a hypothetical situation thanks to a recent pregnancy scare.
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The best case scenario is to enter into some form of child support agreement which is preferable to you yet acceptable to the other parent where you agree on the financial support for the child however it is and will always be subject to change based on financial circumstances and the ultimate welfare of the child. It is better to be amicable as you cannot ultimately escape a court-mandated order.
 
saor said:
What a crock of ****.
It takes two people to make a kid.
It's probably gonna take the two of them to raise it.
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No it doesn't, else where are all the unraised children from absent parents right now?

saor said:
This 'her body her choice' thing is so dumb. What, it's impossible for two people to discuss something and reach an agreement together?
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Ever tried to reason with a feminist, or a Karen?

Give them power once and they'll always think they know better than men.

acidrain said:
It's easy for a male to call for an abortion when they are not the ones that have to physically go through it.
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Its just as easy for women to force men into supporting something they didn't want for the rest of their lives, just cos women feel like some coochy-coochy coo!
 
You can sign a contract if there is no push-back from the mother. This is where the control of the mother is the make it or break it scenario. If she wants to have the child and want you involved/paying support and refuse to sign any contract well then you are sht out of luck

It would be akin to being a sperm donor. Sperm donors have no involvement in the life of the child and it is all due to a legal contract signed before the birth of the child.

So in your case if you can get the mother to sign said contract that absolves you from being involved in the life of the child then you will have a legal document that would stand up in court.

People here suggesting that you are just screwed is completely lost.

Again, this would come down as nothing more than being a sperm donor so take that approach and get a legal document signed with lawyers ie. Don't just sign it in your personal capacity at home.
 
grok said:
Its just as easy for women to force men into supporting something they didn't want for the rest of their lives, just cos women feel like some coochy-coochy coo!
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There is a simple fix for men to prevent that from happening to them though.
 
The_Ogre said:
@Ecstatic Universe the best way to prevent this from happening is to make sure she's on the pill/injection and then go get the snip. When you have sex, always use a condom and only do anal.

There was a certain forum member on here born despite his father taking these precautions. :thumbsdown:
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Did they also pop out from that hole, sound more like a certain politician imho
 
John Tempus said:
Again, this would come down as nothing more than being a sperm donor so take that approach and get a legal document signed with lawyers ie. Don't just sign it in your personal capacity at home.
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Good luck with trying that - it would ultimately be valid for as long as both parents are in agreement. Once they are not in agreement a family court would determine what is reasonable to support the welfare of the child.
 
Ecstatic Universe said:
Some background:
Dating a year.
Have sex without condom a few times.
Always careful when doing so, always cautious.
This one time though.... something may have happened...
Let's say she wants to keep the kid, I don't.
I am pro-choice (as long as it's before the fetal stage) but seeing as it's still under 7-8 weeks, I say we should get an abortion, she doesn't want to. She wants to keep the child and have the child etc.



If both of us signed an affidavit stating that I didn't / don't want the kid, would that be usable in a court of law if say it came to that at a later stage? Say I left and refused to pay child support because I didn't want the kid. Bear in mind this is a hypothetical situation thanks to a recent pregnancy scare.

Additional info:
I am pro abortion / pro-choice as long as it's before the 10th week of pregnancy.
I don't want to hear anything about morality or "god-given-right-to-life" arguments. I guess this is a law advice question, as it is certainly not a morality question.
I am not very familiar with South African abortion laws and should probably get to do some reading.
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Basically you screwed her and now you're screwed.
 
John Tempus said:
You can sign a contract if there is no push-back from the mother. This is where the control of the mother is the make it or break it scenario. If she wants to have the child and want you involved/paying support and refuse to sign any contract well then you are sht out of luck

It would be akin to being a sperm donor. Sperm donors have no involvement in the life of the child and it is all due to a legal contract signed before the birth of the child.

So in your case if you can get the mother to sign said contract that absolves you from being involved in the life of the child then you will have a legal document that would stand up in court.

People here suggesting that you are just screwed is completely lost.

Again, this would come down as nothing more than being a sperm donor so take that approach and get a legal document signed with lawyers ie. Don't just sign it in your personal capacity at home.
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Doesn't matter. You can sign whatever document you want, it won't hold up in court. Seen it time and time again.

Sperm donors are different, if done via a sperm bank. There is legal protection for that.

For anything private, it won't hold up in court. In fact, if you asked a lawyer to help you draft an agreement, they'd probably tell you this.
 
acidrain said:
The term "equal say" is kind of hard when you have an even number of votes because what do you do when it's a stale mate as is the case with OP. One has to have more of a say than the other and imho it's fair that the women gets this.

It's easy for a male to call for an abortion when they are not the ones that have to physically go through it.
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I think the way it should work is that if the man suggests an abortion, and the woman refuses, then the man cannot be obligated to pay for child support. That, IMHO, would be fair.

But that will never happen.
 
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