I dunno what im doing

adamr said:
she is sweet, pretty, good heart ... important things to me ....

she is "too by the book" ... she worries about every single thing about me ... which i dont like ... kinda gets annoying at times.

i want her to have goals in terms of studies and stuff, before she met me she did not, it looks like i might be changing her in this direction, so thats a good thing ...

she started doing Promo work and getting a lot of attention from the males ... think its gonna give her a big head ... picked up hints ... told her if she does get a big head i will bring her back to earth very quickly ...

the more im getting to know her i guess the more i feel she aint unique ... i really dunno i guess ... a lot more for me than just a pretty face and sweet heart ...

she is still naive in many things
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Lol dont control her...
She sounds good, everything a Muslim girl should be. Shes still young, she will only "wake" up once shes working, and if she qualifies as a Doctor, she will be a wiser and much more matured person.

Theres nothing wrong with the "stats" you posted, personally I would rather have that than one of those that have been around and might be a bit more worldly etc...

I think of it as someone to raise my kids... not as the perfect hottie that can entertain me, physically and emotionally.
 
JK8 said:

Lol dont control her...
She sounds good, everything a Muslim girl should be. Shes still young, she will only "wake" up once shes working, and if she qualifies as a Doctor, she will be a wiser and much more matured person.

Theres nothing wrong with the "stats" you posted, personally I would rather have that than one of those that have been around and might be a bit more worldly etc...

I think of it as someone to raise my kids... not as the perfect hottie that can entertain me, physically and emotionally.
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she aint muslim ...
 
adamr said:
she is sweet, pretty, good heart ... important things to me ....

she is "too by the book" ... she worries about every single thing about me ... which i dont like ... kinda gets annoying at times.

i want her to have goals in terms of studies and stuff, before she met me she did not, it looks like i might be changing her in this direction, so thats a good thing ...

she started doing Promo work and getting a lot of attention from the males ... think its gonna give her a big head ... picked up hints ... told her if she does get a big head i will bring her back to earth very quickly ...

the more im getting to know her i guess the more i feel she aint unique ... i really dunno i guess ... a lot more for me than just a pretty face and sweet heart ...

she is still naive in many things
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I'm starting to think you are a fag. :D
 
Ask yourself 2 questions

1. do I want to spend the rest of my life with her ?

2. do I love her as she is, now ?

If yes to both, move forward. Otherwise move on, and stop wasting your and her time.
 
talon said:
Ask yourself 2 questions

1. do I want to spend the rest of my life with her ?

2. do I love her as she is, now ?

If yes to both, move forward. Otherwise move on, and stop wasting your and her time.
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my head gets sore when i try and think so far ahead ....

looks she is coming down here to joburg, will talk to her then in person ... an hour on the phone with this stuff aint enough time ...
 
adamr said:
... kinda gets annoying at times....
...it looks like i might be changing her in this direction, so thats a good thing ...

....she started doing Promo work and getting a lot of attention from the males ... think its gonna give her a big head ... picked up hints ... told her if she does get a big head i will bring her back to earth very quickly ...

the more im getting to know her i guess the more i feel she aint unique ... i really dunno i guess ... a lot more for me than just a pretty face and sweet heart ...

she is still naive in many things
Click to expand...

The more I read about your feelings towards her the more I wish I was able to chat to her and tell her that she is a lot better off without you. You are now starting to come across as very selfish and everything needs to be about you. There is a jealous streak coming through mid way through there which I think she would be better of not being subjected to. I always think jealousy stems from insecurity... I particularly do not like the line "i will bring her back to earth very quickly"! How? Physically? Mentally? Both types are abuse!

I say leave her to find someone who truly values her and will treat her well.

Sorry this is not what you want to hear but the more you "talk" the more apparent it becomes.
 
LancelotSA said:
The more I read about your feelings towards her the more I wish I was able to chat to her and tell her that she is a lot better off without you. You are now starting to come across as very selfish and everything needs to be about you. There is a jealous streak coming through mid way through there which I think she would be better of not being subjected to. I always think jealousy stems from insecurity... I particularly do not like the line "i will bring her back to earth very quickly"! How? Physically? Mentally? Both types are abuse!

I say leave her to find someone who truly values her and will treat her well.

Sorry this is not what you want to hear but the more you "talk" the more apparent it becomes.
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right now i am confused and dont know what i want ... your points are really insightful LancelotSA ... think i do need some alone time ... the selfish part though i am far from it, maybe not .... but i do think i am far from it ... will do some inside self inspection here

"particularly do not like the line "i will bring her back to earth very quickly"! How? Physically? Mentally?"
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nope ... ill just stop talking to her ... nothing inferred by that, its like "if i dont dress warm and she will say she is gonna kick my a55 if i dont, does not mean she will now really kick my ass... ".... she knows ill protect her and i will .... i saw a quiet girl involved in her work and thats what i liked .... she no fancy loud party girl ... i want her to remain the soft sweet girl and don't want her getting a big head, like so many other people that would fall in this trap ... cause i will be hurt and will be forced not to speak to her ... you have read me wrong here ... and this you should realise by my choice of girl ...

what i am scared of is this and it is a flaw with me:

... i do not want to be in a relationship where it becomes "empty" ... we have a lot in common but i also want someone in the partnership thats drive me, have goals in life be motivated ... else i will just give up at some point if the relationship does not have this ... yes i can be demanding in that respect if it makes some sort of sense ... with my previous relationship i tried really hard to keep it, but she just was not motivated in her life, it drags you down with the person ... we broke up and only after she realised this and is now really doing well for herself, and me and the ex are friends still... maybe it is just that i expect too much from a relationship, and maybe seeing it as just having a physical relationship and fun is just what it should be ... but then its sooo empty to me ... problem is i go in full heart and then only realise later that hey this might not work ... ill try to make it work ... just scared i don't want to go through this pain again, where both people end up hurting, dont want to hurt her, really dont

EDIT:... reading my own post now i realise im too rigid, i should just let her do her own thing, im just there to catch her if she falls ... talking like this is good, and i appreciate all the guys input into this ... somehow making me see things and realise what i am doing wrong ... for now yes i want to keep her as a friend in my life ... let time play this one out ...
 
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OK...I did not read everything but err

this is one seriously effed up episode of Egoli!

You don't know what you want ...and I'm not dissing you...I'm the same but...

If you don't want her as lifetime partner then tell her. It's unfair toward her to holding on to your puppet string (I'm sorry) but there are plenty of men who want to settle down. She is going to get grabbed and it's only fair if you don't want a full relationship.

Not being rude...just honest
 
DarKWateR said:
OK...I did not read everything but err

this is one seriously effed up episode of Egoli!

You don't know what you want ...and I'm not dissing you...I'm the same but...

If you don't want her as lifetime partner then tell her. It's unfair toward her to holding on to your puppet string (I'm sorry) but there are plenty of men who want to settle down. She is going to get grabbed and it's only fair if you don't want a full relationship.

Not being rude...just honest
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QFT :cool:
 
DarKWateR said:
OK...I did not read everything but err

this is one seriously effed up episode of Egoli!

You don't know what you want ...and I'm not dissing you...I'm the same but...

If you don't want her as lifetime partner then tell her. It's unfair toward her to holding on to your puppet string (I'm sorry) but there are plenty of men who want to settle down. She is going to get grabbed and it's only fair if you don't want a full relationship.

Not being rude...just honest
Click to expand...

it is effed up ... will talk to her when i see i think its best
 
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