I dunno what im doing

[adamr]

Ok, I take that back.
Sulk away then.

which ended up as me and her in the hotel room looking at each other ... she did have a bf at that time ... now broke up with him ... and her mum phoning her at 11pm that night, cause she knew her daughter was "up to ****" ... it was complicated ...

 

[Ou grote]

which ended up as me and her in the hotel room looking at each other ... she did have a bf at that time ... now broke up with him ... and her mum phoning her at 11pm that night, cause she knew her daughter was "up to ****" ... it was complicated ...

Yeah, I'm starting to see that...

 

[FlatspinZA]

Golden rule for emails: double check who you are sending to before you hit send...

I did that to one of my FB chicks...only I sent the wrong message to the wrong chick - blind.

She's like, um, I think you sent this to the wrong person...

Ooops.....

At the end of the day, boet, do you still want to hold and hug her after you've bonked her, or do you just want to go to sleep?

Just chill, whatever is meant to be will be...but if you slightly suspect that she might be the one, go for it, no commitment - just to see how it works out.

 

[AirWolf]

which ended up as me and her in the hotel room looking at each other ... she did have a bf at that time ... now broke up with him ... and her mum phoning her at 11pm that night, cause she knew her daughter was "up to ****" ... it was complicated ...

So you are evil one that lead her off the straight and narrow, and now you want to ditch her

 

[Picard]

I'm thinking real hard to say something inspirational, firstly to help you and secondly to up my postcount. Unfortunately I'm can only think of something to up my postcount. So here goes ... suck it up, spit it out and put your sorrow in your pocket. This won't be the last time that something like this will happen.

 

[LancelotSA]

Just chill, whatever is meant to be will be...but if you slightly suspect that she might be the one, go for it, no commitment - just to see how it works out.

Huh? Go for it without commitment? I'm afraid you are totally wrong there. If you reckon she is definitely the one then you are going to need a little commitment!

Without undermining this relationship at all though, can she (as I am not sure of your age) really be sure you are the one when she is only 21?

I reckon just enjoy it for now. Give he a little space. But don't put too much pressure on her. She is young.

Also she seems like she is obviously close to her family. You can understand how they must feel about the possibility of her moving to Jhb?

 

[adamr]

oh fck i just spoke to the ex now (who by the way is a friend) ... and got her to cry ... just figured now she is still hung up on me ... bad move ... ... figured she is the only one that really knows me thats why i opened up to her, when she phoned me just a few min ago ... (ok im the stoopidest p0epol around ... )

Just chill, whatever is meant to be will be...but if you slightly suspect that she might be the one, go for it, no commitment - just to see how it works out.

i gonna really try this ... easier said than done

 

[adamr]

Huh? Go for it without commitment? I'm afraid you are totally wrong there. If you reckon she is definitely the one then you are going to need a little commitment!

Without undermining this relationship at all though, can she (as I am not sure of your age) really be sure you are the one when she is only 21?

I reckon just enjoy it for now. Give he a little space. But don't put too much pressure on her. She is young.

Also she seems like she is obviously close to her family. You can understand how they must feel about the possibility of her moving to Jhb?

yes she is very close to the family ... yes they are petrified her moving to joburg, cause she wants to work here ... hey how do u know this stuff ... did i mention this ... me needs to check my posts ... ??? ... and yes she is very young ... im 28 ... on her side she is very scared of long distance relationships, told me tonight if we were she could not handle me not being there, and she did feel that before and was too much for her to handle ... her mum told me she cried the one time, she does not know i know this ... she hides her emotions a lot ...

 

[LancelotSA]

yes she is very close to the family ... yes they are petrified her moving to joburg, cause she wants to work here ... hey how do u know this stuff ... did i mention this ... me needs to check my posts ... ??? ... and yes she is very young ... im 28 ... on her side she is very scared of long distance relationships, told me tonight if we were she could not handle me not being there, and she did feel that before and was too much for her to handle ... her mum told me she cried the one time, she does not know i know this ... she hides her emotions a lot ...

Well a bit of it I read between the lines from the stuff you had said. You need to remember that most people are actually very similar when it comes to relationships and we all have similar fears and desires....

And the reason people hide their emotions is that it is the easiest way to not get hurt. Well a bit of a lie as you still do get hurt but because you have not opened up you can always claim that you are not hurt as it never meant anything anyway. Hmm does that makes sense?

As I said before just be careful. This is probably not what you want to hear but remember she has a lot more to lose than you, especially if the idea is for her to move to Jhb. She will be the one packing up her things and leaving her family behind. You will still be in your comfort zone. So before encouraging her to do this, make sure of your intentions. If you are not sure of your intentions and she is still wanting to move to Jhb for work purposes then make this known to her. Let her know that the move has to be something she'd want to do even if you weren't there. This way she can never throw it back in your face if things do not work out between the two of you!

 

[Syndyre]

It should be her decision whether she wants to take the risk of getting hurt or not. All you owe her is honesty, be honest with her and let her make her own decisions, if she likes you and wants to take a chance, let her. Ultimately you'll regret more what you don't do than what you do.

 

[Pixie22]

You think too much

 

[adamr]

she says she is happy we had the talk and understands and that i showed a part of me she has never seen before and is more fond of me now!

... not quite my intentions for her to be more fond of me ... ???

 

[Syndyre]

Some honesty is good, but I wouldn't let her thread this thread...

No that'd be taking it too far...

 

[JK8]

I did that to one of my FB chicks...only I sent the wrong message to the wrong chick - blind.

She's like, um, I think you sent this to the wrong person...

Ooops.....

At the end of the day, boet, do you still want to hold and hug her after you've bonked her, or do you just want to go to sleep?

Just chill, whatever is meant to be will be...but if you slightly suspect that she might be the one, go for it, no commitment - just to see how it works out.

I do that all the time!

@ Adam
The way you feeling means something, just ask her to marry you or get engaged or something. The problem with not taking the next step from my experiences is that "the next girls" you come across will always always have to live up to certain characteristics of the ones you let go...

 

[adamr]

I do that all the time!

@ Adam
The way you feeling means something, just ask her to marry you or get engaged or something. The problem with not taking the next step from my experiences is that "the next girls" you come across will always always have to live up to certain characteristics of the ones you let go...

im not the marriage type ... did propose to a girl once and then pulled it back ... the perfect girl trust me for any guy ... drop dead gorgeous, a doctor, fun to be with and i pulled the proposal back ... we were friends after that still i mended things some how and then i promised to send her a gift for her birthday and never did send the gift or spoke to her since ...

i dont think i found the person that will make me happy, thats the thing ... they need to be a little bit of everyone, no such person exists

 

[Devill]

Some honesty is good, but I wouldn't let her thread this thread...

is threading a thread like killing someone dead

 

[JK8]

im not the marriage type ... did propose to a girl once and then pulled it back ... the perfect girl trust me for any guy ... drop dead gorgeous, a doctor, fun to be with and i pulled the proposal back ... we were friends after that still i mended things some how and then i promised to send her a gift for her birthday and never did send the gift or spoke to her since ...

i dont think i found the person that will make me happy, thats the thing ... they need to be a little bit of everyone, no such person exists

Hehehehe we exactly the same!
I did turn one girl down, she was from a wealthy family, an engineer, very cute etc. But I wasnt fond of her "attitude on life".

Ive since learned that what I want will stay, but im going to have to find a compromise somewhere at some stage. (I never compromise, on anything).
Im also not perfect and dont believe I should be so critical of everything.
The problem is im looking for things I dont have (family wise). Thats the only criteria I wont budge with.

Some people just look past looks etc, I truly admire and envy them! But they found something, I have no right to judge them.

You right, you dont know what you doing, niether do I, but dont just sit around about it, find someone, and just see what happens.
I say go for your CT girl!

 

[adamr]

@JK8 .... no i think after some thinking ill get bored of her ... thats the truth ... she has characteristics i like yes but is missing some as well ....

 

[JK8]

@JK8 .... no i think after some thinking ill get bored of her ... thats the truth ... she has characteristics i like yes but is missing some as well ....

And how many are you missing in her opinion?

 

[adamr]

she is sweet, pretty, good heart ... important things to me ....

she is "too by the book" ... she worries about every single thing about me ... which i dont like ... kinda gets annoying at times.

i want her to have goals in terms of studies and stuff, before she met me she did not, it looks like i might be changing her in this direction, so thats a good thing ...

she started doing Promo work and getting a lot of attention from the males ... think its gonna give her a big head ... picked up hints ... told her if she does get a big head i will bring her back to earth very quickly ...

the more im getting to know her i guess the more i feel she aint unique ... i really dunno i guess ... a lot more for me than just a pretty face and sweet heart ...

she is still naive in many things