I'm broken...

Dolby said:
Believe me, you don't want to drag it out.

She's pretty set on not wanting to be together - so as many have said, move on. DON'T mail, IM, chat, phone, SMS or anything else. Shagging others in the time is up to you - I can't do it personally .... but keeping busy and being out every night should help.

I dragged out my relationship for 12 months AFTER we broke up - and she took full advantage (her right to, as she's single) of having her shags on the side - yet coming to me when she was lonely or needed anything. Looking back now I realise that when it's over, it's over and I was stupid to drag it further
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I agree, as I made the same mistake as Dolby.
Seriously, dude, manage your emotions, take your time, and then YOU decide what you want to do.
But dont do anything irrational, or let your ex pressure you.

Go visit mates, hit the clubs, just get out and about. I think its fair to say, by the amount of posts, you have and are armed with all the information you could ever need. Ultimately its up to you.

In closing.
Ill never forget the advice my cousin gave me, when I was in your shoes. "The only way to forget a woman is to get under another woman". I didn't necessary follow it. But it gave me the guts to move on.

So glad I did. And if you decide the same. It will hurt like hell .... but its more worth it.

All the best. And be strong.
 
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ChilliGirl said:
ok so a brief summary:

you break up = you are both single & free to see/sleep with whom you want
she comes & humps your bones
she humps another guy's bones (she can she is single)
She tells you
you tell her to F-off outa your home coz she cheated on you.

Sorry: NEWS FLASH

She did not cheat on you. She slept around, yes.


besides it should stroke your ego that she humped you both & still prefer you after all this time to the new fresh bones.

20-something does not mean you are mentally mature yet. Grow up & then rethink.
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This.

Also don't understand your anger with the other guy. How was she suppose to know she is in a fragile state. I am assuming she met the guy for the first time, if it was one of your mates or her friends that knew what you are going through, I would understand your anger.
 
One of her old friends who knew we were / had gone out.

DigitalSoldier said:
This.

Also don't understand your anger with the other guy. How was she suppose to know she is in a fragile state. I am assuming she met the guy for the first time, if it was one of your mates or her friends that knew what you are going through, I would understand your anger.
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Problemo said:
One of her old friends who knew we were / had gone out.
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So why blame him? he saw a hurt female and took his chance.

Not his fault you let her go or however it went down. You don't own her for the rest of your life. This whole BS story of people not wanting others to be with people they have been with is just rubbish.

If a fish is in the unattached ocean it's on.
 
I saw the title house and just thought Seether. seriously, just move on dude.
 
Dolby said:
Believe me, you don't want to drag it out.

She's pretty set on not wanting to be together - so as many have said, move on. DON'T mail, IM, chat, phone, SMS or anything else. Shagging others in the time is up to you - I can't do it personally .... but keeping busy and being out every night should help.

I dragged out my relationship for 12 months AFTER we broke up - and she took full advantage (her right to, as she's single) of having her shags on the side - yet coming to me when she was lonely or needed anything. Looking back now I realise that when it's over, it's over and I was stupid to drag it further
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It seems a couple of us have been in this boat when first starting out. I was in a serious relationship with a girl when I was younger. We thought this was it we were going to get married, picket fence lalala etc. We had our good moments but she used to play me likea fiddle and near the end of our relationship she used to break up with me and go to clubs places where I was with other guys, we would argue and then she would tear up say she is meesed up and sorry and and then later on get back with me and then the cycle would start again. I don't know what it was but it was just one time to much and I remember it clearly.

We organised to out on a date and the whole night she was flirting with another guy. Funny thing is this time I just felt different to all the other times she had done it before, I wasn't angry at the guy I just seen this poor palooka getting played just like me. I walked up to her and told her it was over and walked out. At the time she probably thought this just another time but when I stopped answering her calls talking to her and if she pitched up where I was at a club etc I would leave. She then got the message that I was serious it was over. I started seeing other girls and got serious with another girl. I look back at my relationship with that one girl and I just think how did I miss all those tell tale signs? How was she able to manipulate me so much for so long? anyway it was a life lesson and now the other girl I got serious with is now my wife for 15 glorious years and I still love her as much today as I did when I married her.

As bad as life seems today it can be better tomorrow if you let it.
 
A lot of girls are manipulative and fake and just play you because they think they can, and a lot of the time guys let then. Shows our screwed up society.
 
******99 said:
You also kind-of took advantage of her in the same way by having sex with her afterwards while she was in the same fragile state... :)
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That wouldn't be taking advantage, how many of us hooked up with an ex not long after a break up?
Feelings are still there..
 
To the OP. Sounds like you guys broke up, after a month she decided to fill some void inside of her (not a physical void :)) by grabbing a random guy to make her whole again. She misses being with you and she just wanted to get over you by sleeping with someone else. At 23 she didn't know any better. If you really think that she is the type of girl for you and there won't be anyone else in the world to make you feel like how she made you feel then my friend you should take her back. The downside in taking her back is that you won't have complete trust in her.
 
If you cannot forgive her for the break up and whatever she did inbetween (both physically and emotionally), then IMO it will never work out. You'll always have doubts. Furthermore not only do you need to sort out the current issues (her leaving you, sleeping with someone else, headspace etc.) but you will need to address the reasons for the initial breakup as well. This counts for her as well.

As the old saying goes, 'it takes two to tango' (unless it's a threesome or moresome).
 
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