My ex and I broke up just under 2 months ago (3 year relationship) (her idea, but I couldn't argue with anything she said - at the end we were fighting a lot).
We tried to keep talking and remained friends. She kept telling me how she's not ready for anyone else and that i'm still very much in her thoughts but that she's just very confused. I stepped back and gave her the space she needed, however I didn't fight for her - I just let it be. I told her during this time that I miss her and that I still love her and that i'd be interested in trying to make things work. She told me during that time that she wasn't in the head space for anyone else and that she was just trying to sort her own life out. I helped her where I could - with her car (taking her to get alarm / audio fitted etc).
Anyhow so she comes over a week back, sleeps with me - messes with my feelings and then comes over again yesterday trying to do the same thing, knowing full well that we both still have feelings for one another. She then wants to sleep with me again - I resist and we start talking and she says its hard for her but its easier for me because ignorance is bliss. I'm like woah woah woah now I know you hooked up with someone else. After some prying she says she kissed someone, then it goes to I slept with him. Then it goes to on 3 seperate occasions it happened. This a month after we broke up - 3 years invested and she can't keep it in her pants for a month. So anyhow after much coaxing she tells me this and tells me she didn't mean to hurt me and that it was stupid and she wasn't thinking and that i'll always be the one for her.
I then told her i'm cutting her out of my life at which point she started hugging me and crying and i just stood there like a stone. I have a well of emotions inside but right now im numb, numb and jaded. I don't want this to make me a cynic but I didn't think my best friend / my confidant / the person I wanted to settle down with would do this to me, not in my worst nightmares. I don't want to become so cynical that I start to treat all women like dirt, spy on them and act like a policeman, that's not me, but after this its HARD. Nice guys finish last. Time to become an *******.
She was the love of my life, the one I wanted to marry. The one I wanted to grow old with.
Anyhow so to sum up my problems are this:
a) she slept with some other guy and slept with me (pretty much same period of time). She claims she was safe and used protection - I know we did. Should I be worried?
b) She had the guts to tell me, this must have taken a lot and in the back of my mind it means something - but i'm so fuelled with rage that I don't know what? If I see the other guy i'd probably get indited for manslaughter (I know I know its not his fault, he's in the middle, but at the very least he's guilty for taking advantage of someone fragile- luckily I don't know who he is or i'd do something drastic and get arrested.)
c) I kicked her out of my house last night and sms'd her to tell her that today is the hardest decision of my life - cutting her out of my life. She replied back that she doesn't accept that and that she will fight for me.
Ages: I'm 25, she's 23.
We tried to keep talking and remained friends. She kept telling me how she's not ready for anyone else and that i'm still very much in her thoughts but that she's just very confused. I stepped back and gave her the space she needed, however I didn't fight for her - I just let it be. I told her during this time that I miss her and that I still love her and that i'd be interested in trying to make things work. She told me during that time that she wasn't in the head space for anyone else and that she was just trying to sort her own life out. I helped her where I could - with her car (taking her to get alarm / audio fitted etc).
Anyhow so she comes over a week back, sleeps with me - messes with my feelings and then comes over again yesterday trying to do the same thing, knowing full well that we both still have feelings for one another. She then wants to sleep with me again - I resist and we start talking and she says its hard for her but its easier for me because ignorance is bliss. I'm like woah woah woah now I know you hooked up with someone else. After some prying she says she kissed someone, then it goes to I slept with him. Then it goes to on 3 seperate occasions it happened. This a month after we broke up - 3 years invested and she can't keep it in her pants for a month. So anyhow after much coaxing she tells me this and tells me she didn't mean to hurt me and that it was stupid and she wasn't thinking and that i'll always be the one for her.
I then told her i'm cutting her out of my life at which point she started hugging me and crying and i just stood there like a stone. I have a well of emotions inside but right now im numb, numb and jaded. I don't want this to make me a cynic but I didn't think my best friend / my confidant / the person I wanted to settle down with would do this to me, not in my worst nightmares. I don't want to become so cynical that I start to treat all women like dirt, spy on them and act like a policeman, that's not me, but after this its HARD. Nice guys finish last. Time to become an *******.
She was the love of my life, the one I wanted to marry. The one I wanted to grow old with.
Anyhow so to sum up my problems are this:
a) she slept with some other guy and slept with me (pretty much same period of time). She claims she was safe and used protection - I know we did. Should I be worried?
b) She had the guts to tell me, this must have taken a lot and in the back of my mind it means something - but i'm so fuelled with rage that I don't know what? If I see the other guy i'd probably get indited for manslaughter (I know I know its not his fault, he's in the middle, but at the very least he's guilty for taking advantage of someone fragile- luckily I don't know who he is or i'd do something drastic and get arrested.)
c) I kicked her out of my house last night and sms'd her to tell her that today is the hardest decision of my life - cutting her out of my life. She replied back that she doesn't accept that and that she will fight for me.
Ages: I'm 25, she's 23.
