I'm broken...

It seems like there are strong feelings for each other between the two of you.

Instead of cutting her out of your life straight away, have you considered the two of you going to relationship counseling ?
It is not a sign of weakness if you cannot fix the issues between yourselves, maybe you just need an independent third party to help the two of you in sorting this out.
 
ITCynic said:
It seems like there are strong feelings for each other between the two of you.

Instead of cutting her out of your life straight away, have you considered the two of you going to relationship counseling ?
It is not a sign of weakness if you cannot fix the issues between yourselves, maybe you just need an independent third party to help the two of you in sorting this out.
Click to expand...

I agree with Pavan. She should have seeked counselling before sleeping around like a slut.

I'm in a similar boat, 3 year relationship, almost broken and things are slowly moving forward. If my girlfriend cheats on me, she is history, no other way around it. And it was cheating, point blank.
 
Pavan said:
Grow-up?? Jeez what kak advice. This guy is grown up and obviously going through a really tough time. He's trying to deal with his emotions which is clearly not that easy right now. Being the better ***** is small consilation for the emotional damage she has done. If it was the other way around, I'm eager to know wtf your opinion on this would be. Grow up.
Click to expand...
the most important point is they were both single. so she did not cheat on him.

if they were dating & she did it i'd say bin her.

there are important issues that lead to their breakup in the first place. they need to deal with those issues first. then move on from there.

they then need to decide:
her- is she gonna open her legs for other guys again
him - can he accept that she was single when she had sex with that other guy
 
ITCynic said:
It seems like there are strong feelings for each other between the two of you.

Instead of cutting her out of your life straight away, have you considered the two of you going to relationship counseling ?
It is not a sign of weakness if you cannot fix the issues between yourselves, maybe you just need an independent third party to help the two of you in sorting this out.
Click to expand...
There's a good idea. :)
 
ChilliGirl said:
there are important issues that lead to their breakup in the first place. they need to deal with those issues first. then move on from there.

they then need to decide:
her- is she gonna open her legs for other guys again
him - can he accept that she was single when she had sex with that other guy
Click to expand...

100% agree with you on this.
 
One think I realised with my relationship with my wife.

Some things make your relationship stronger some things can break your relationship.

You need to decide which this is.
 
She's confusing the living daylights out of you!! Step back, focus on YOU and your path. Use the lesson wisely. It's all part of our journey. You'll be fine........
 
teraside said:
From the OP:

Slut!
Click to expand...
Single is single....

They were not in a relationship. They were not even in a "lets not see eachother for a bit" phase. so no cheating.

What do you call a guy that has a one-night-stand?

Edit:

as per the starting line of the OP she was his EX girlfriend at the time....

Problemo said:
My ex and I broke up just under 2 months ago .
Click to expand...
 
Actually what do you call a guy that has sex with another person multiple time and then goes back to his ex for some more sex ?

A player, so a slut.
 
biena said:
Actually what do you call a guy that has sex with another person multiple time and then goes back to his ex for some more sex ?

A player, so a slut.
Click to expand...
then she's a player too.

Can't have one term more derogatory than the other...
 
ChilliGirl said:
Single is single....

They were not in a relationship. They were not even in a "lets not see eachother for a bit" phase. so no cheating.

What do you call a guy that has a one-night-stand?

Edit:

as per the starting line of the OP she was his EX girlfriend at the time....
Click to expand...

BS.

If there was any love in her for him, there would be no sleeping around.

I was without my girlfriend for 4 months, almost no physical contact and we were true to each other, even with the single label.

I don't care what you call a man that has a one night stand, that's that man's issue. The OP isn't that man. He loved his lady and she slept around. Slut.
 
teraside said:
BS.

If there was any love in her for him, there would be no sleeping around.

I was without my girlfriend for 4 months, almost no physical contact and we were true to each other, even with the single label.

I don't care what you call a man that has a one night stand, that's that man's issue. The OP isn't that man. He loved his lady and she slept around. Slut.
Click to expand...

You were appart due to circumstances not broken up the relationship?

Then you were both waiting but still in a relationship.

They were NOT in a relationship...
 
I understand this. I'm not mad she 'cheated as you say' she didn't. I know this. My rational side knows this.

My irrational side however wants to beat the guys face in. I know somewhere deep deep down (in the far corners of my anguish) that it took big cahones for her to tell me and risk losing me as a friend even. On the other hand I have to think that the fact that she slept with him for 3 different times, that is premeditated (and I can't rule it down to being drunk and forgive etc). I also have to live with the fact that she pissed on my / our memory after 3 years as much as she's adamant she didn't and doesn't want to lose me. I'm just hurting right now, the rage will either be fueled or die. Time will tell.

I still love her even after this. I just detest that she could put me through this. I had my chances to sleep with other woman, but out of respect and time I turned them down. Little did I know that it wasn't recriprocated. She knows i'm a hard guy, cross me and I'll cut you off. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. So she must of known to hurt me would end up like this. Even though she was crying last night and trying to hold me and ask for forgiveness I couldn't let up. The tempest in me is loose and I need time.



ChilliGirl said:
the most important point is they were both single. so she did not cheat on him.

if they were dating & she did it i'd say bin her.

there are important issues that lead to their breakup in the first place. they need to deal with those issues first. then move on from there.

they then need to decide:
her- is she gonna open her legs for other guys again
him - can he accept that she was single when she had sex with that other guy
Click to expand...
 
teraside said:
BS.

If there was any love in her for him, there would be no sleeping around.

I was without my girlfriend for 4 months, almost no physical contact and we were true to each other, even with the single label.

I don't care what you call a man that has a one night stand, that's that man's issue. The OP isn't that man. He loved his lady and she slept around. Slut.
Click to expand...

I disagree, if there was no love, she probably would have cheated on him. She broke up, then slept around, realised she screwed up and then came back and told him everything. Sometimes it takes somethign like this to realise how good you have it.

Of all the people on here, i thought u would be the most understanding that people can make stupid decisions / mistakes. She probably was not in the best frame of mind after the breakup and did some stupid things. Im not saying its right, but in my mind its not unforgiveable.
They need to work out why she wanted the break up, why she slept around and if they can get past that
 
ChilliGirl said:
You were appart due to circumstances not broken up the relationship?

Then you were both waiting but still in a relationship.

They were NOT in a relationship...
Click to expand...

No my dear. The relationship was broken, due to me making some really bad mistakes (that didn't involve sleeping around).

We were single and got back together and even all that time apart, we were true to each other. So stop covering for the slut.
 
Apparently some people have a hang-up about about sex - and another don't understand what 'single' means.
 
tau1z said:
I disagree, if there was no love, she probably would have cheated on him. She broke up, then slept around, realised she screwed up and then came back and told him everything. Sometimes it takes somethign like this to realise how good you have it.

Of all the people on here, i thought u would be the most understanding that people can make stupid decisions / mistakes. She probably was not in the best frame of mind after the breakup and did some stupid things. Im not saying its right, but in my mind its not unforgiveable.
They need to work out why she wanted the break up, why she slept around and if they can get past that
Click to expand...

I don't take well to cheating. My parents were divorced after 33 years of marriage due to another woman and my dad going for her.

I can forgive the world, but a cheater doesn't have my forgiveness. She slept with the other guy 3 times. Not once and learnt her lesson, 3 times :mad:
 
teraside said:
I don't take well to cheating. My parents were divorced after 33 years of marriage due to another woman and my dad going for her.

I can forgive the world, but a cheater doesn't have my forgiveness. She slept with the other guy 3 times. Not once and learnt her lesson, 3 times :mad:
Click to expand...

She was single and free to sleep with anyone... you can't cheat on someone when you're single.
 
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