Please explain how you equate raping your child with throwing it due to frustration? I know Mike already replied to your comment but **** me it comes across as completely retarded. Do you have any kids..?
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Nobody Important
Executive Member
You seem to have come up with a plan, well done. Don't berate yourself for your feelings, its your actions that count and you are going about it the right way.
SauRoNZA
Honorary Master
3 hourly?
HA HA HA HA pull the other one.
Now at 6 months old my second kid doesn’t even hit 3 hours with any regularity.
That being said on formula it should be much easier as they stay fuller for longer but still a while before you’ll get there.
Break the six week barrier and you should be all good.
Venomous
Honorary Master
It is normal for the really prem babies to "just stop".
Our friends' little one still forgot to breathe even after he went home. She's a fully qualified nurse so as long as their son had sensors clipped to him 24/7 the docs were ok to let him go home.
Was not easy for them. She had treatment for her ptsd while baby was in hospital. She was ok when he could go home so basically the mom and dad could "tag team" and then during the day the mom had help. Their baby did not even weight 1kg at birth...
Stefanmuller
Expert Member
To the OP, I think this rant on the forum did you good. It was very hard to read as I can relate - our second son is now 2.5 weeks old after a gap of more than five years we kind of had to get used to everything all over. This one is a lot easier than the first one but also has his moments so I can only imagine having it go on 24/7 basically on your own.
The first two or three weeks at home is the most difficult, because everything is new and the super responsibility of looking after a tiny little life is overwelming. Add to that lack of sleep and disruption of your whole routine. After about three weeks you kind of get used to little sleep, get confidence in handling a tiny body and also realising that the child wont just break or die, makes a big difference. Obviously for you, the child is a lot smaller and frail, so it will take a little longer. And I absolutely understand the trauma you must have gone through in NICU and the past 3 months before even getting home. But they do grow quickly.
Best advice on this thread is to get outside help (parent, aupair, nanny) just to give you a break and make getting through the day easier. Basically taking shifts between another person. Have a parent also come daily even for just an hour or to do the bathing. That breaks down the day further.
We sent our first child to a daymother after 4 months (she takes at 3 months) which is great. She only looks after babies. There might be people like this specialising in prem babies as at 3 months after full term they often still need special care.
And remember - your little one is a miracle fighter to have survived after having come into this world at only 26 weeks, and both yourself and your wife played an integral part in this. Keep up the fight, for him and for you both, you have done amazing up to now. I take my hat off to you for your determination. There is no shame in admitting it is hard and that you need a hand. Good luck!
The first two or three weeks at home is the most difficult, because everything is new and the super responsibility of looking after a tiny little life is overwelming. Add to that lack of sleep and disruption of your whole routine. After about three weeks you kind of get used to little sleep, get confidence in handling a tiny body and also realising that the child wont just break or die, makes a big difference. Obviously for you, the child is a lot smaller and frail, so it will take a little longer. And I absolutely understand the trauma you must have gone through in NICU and the past 3 months before even getting home. But they do grow quickly.
Best advice on this thread is to get outside help (parent, aupair, nanny) just to give you a break and make getting through the day easier. Basically taking shifts between another person. Have a parent also come daily even for just an hour or to do the bathing. That breaks down the day further.
We sent our first child to a daymother after 4 months (she takes at 3 months) which is great. She only looks after babies. There might be people like this specialising in prem babies as at 3 months after full term they often still need special care.
And remember - your little one is a miracle fighter to have survived after having come into this world at only 26 weeks, and both yourself and your wife played an integral part in this. Keep up the fight, for him and for you both, you have done amazing up to now. I take my hat off to you for your determination. There is no shame in admitting it is hard and that you need a hand. Good luck!
Kosmik
Honorary Master
Our son was on a monitor for a very long time, every night we would sleep and although we could make it silent, the constant beep of the breathing mat helped US to sleep. Sleep apnea is a terriable thing and easy to happen, also seizures, we had a few in the first weeks after the NICU.
Stefanmuller
Expert Member
My wife got this thing for our second child. Very cheap (Safeway) and works a charm. We just put a blanket on the inside because our son is very tiny so that he fits snugly. It keeps him quite upright, and just him sucking on his dummy makes the thing rock slighly. He basically spends the whole day in there either sleeping, or just staring around. We do have an easy child this time round (holding thumbs), but our first one had silent reflux so had to hold him or rock him for ages to fall asleep and would basically wake up or cry if we put him down. I think if we had this thing it would have helped quite a bit.
The other thing we did differently is wrapping this one tightly in a swaddle blanket and putting him in a velcro "swaddle suit". Seems an odd thing to do but the hospital nurses also swaddled him tightly, with arms against his body. When they are small they like this position as it resembles being in the womb and calms them down even though it looks clostraphobic. As soon as their arms get out and are waving around freely they get startled easily and sommer skrik themselves awake (or just poke themselves in the eye or bump the dummy out of their mouth). The other cool thing about swaddling is it turns them into a nice little ball that is easy to handle and pick up and move around.
The other thing we did differently is wrapping this one tightly in a swaddle blanket and putting him in a velcro "swaddle suit". Seems an odd thing to do but the hospital nurses also swaddled him tightly, with arms against his body. When they are small they like this position as it resembles being in the womb and calms them down even though it looks clostraphobic. As soon as their arms get out and are waving around freely they get startled easily and sommer skrik themselves awake (or just poke themselves in the eye or bump the dummy out of their mouth). The other cool thing about swaddling is it turns them into a nice little ball that is easy to handle and pick up and move around.
Stefanmuller
Expert Member
I remember with our first child, even at a healthy 3.2kg, it almost felt kind of insane that we are allowed to take this little thing home and entrust us to be able to look after it.
I can only imagine how it must have felt in the case of a early prem baby. Our second child was 2.75 when we went home and even that felt way smaller and he was full term.
Good up to all of you prem parents. I have great admiration for you.
BlackMamba
Expert Member
Its easy when look at the best side of it and being positive about it will help u... Get your or your wife parents to help out.
Good luck
Good luck
Kosmik
Honorary Master
I was scared to touch him at first, and we couldn't for the first few weeks in the NICU or at least severely restricted ( born @ 27 weeks on the dot @ 730grms ).
Stefanmuller
Expert Member
Wow, that is seriously tiny! What weight was he at discharge? And do they only discharge when there are no additional risk compared to a full term baby, or do they discharge but just "train" you on all the specific extra care and stuff that you have to do, once it os safe enough?
Venomous
Honorary Master
Both weight and extra care.
Friends baby fitted inside the dad's hand after birth. He (baby)was kept at hospital for 3.5months. Had to do with weight and other signs that needed to be stable.
Kosmik
Honorary Master
The criteria for him to leave was :
1. Stable and not requiring high level medical care.
2. Weight >= 1.8kg
3. Ability to latch to either breast or bottle.
4. Apnea monitor brought in and tested.
He was a lucky extreme prem, once able to breathe properly, he didn't suffer major issues ( yes there were other complications but all were overcome) . Besides the odd seizure ( only about two) he was fine and with good parental care, gained and matured. We were told of certain signs to watch for and saw our pead monthly for the first year and declining thereafter. The main thing was total lack of contact for about 3 months post nicu so he could build up his immunity. Weight gain was and still is slow. He's six now and only at 18kgs max to date, lower 20th percentile.
We did 85 days nicu.
Lupus
Honorary Master
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Shoo 18kg is low for a six year old, my six year old is close to 30 and is 140 centimeters, he was also a premi but only 8 weeks prem so when he was born he was 2.3kg and 50cm.
How tall is your little one now? Is he otherwise okay? I'm sure he's as spoilt as spoilt can be as well
Venomous
Honorary Master
Some kids are just skinny.Shoo 18kg is low for a six year old, my six year old is close to 30 and is 140 centimeters, he was also a premi but only 8 weeks prem so when he was born he was 2.3kg and 50cm.
How tall is your little one now? Is he otherwise okay? I'm sure he's as spoilt as spoilt can be as well
I know a child at 8 that was 20kg and 138cm. By 13 was 45kg, and grew taller etc. Only reached 60 at 15 at a height of 175cm. No health issues. The mom always had the kid tested for all kinds constantly fearing the worst.
If they develope well in terms ofmile stones then rather dont stress unless there is bad family history.
Kosmik
Honorary Master
Shoo 18kg is low for a six year old, my six year old is close to 30 and is 140 centimeters, he was also a premi but only 8 weeks prem so when he was born he was 2.3kg and 50cm.
How tall is your little one now? Is he otherwise okay? I'm sure he's as spoilt as spoilt can be as well
His height is not too bad, last I checked he was around 1.1m, probably about 1.15m . He has a couple of developmental issues around speech and muscle ( OT ) especially his core but is in a special needs school to treat him for it ( government, not private, just too expensive ). He's extremely active from all the stimulation he's had to undergo over the years but pretty healthy, healthier than even a lot of full term kids.
Craig_
Honorary Master
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If you ever have you might partly understand. Someone told me recently that he is very concerned about the safety of his kids, especially the one that keep rolling his eyes at him (the dad), every morning.
Kosmik
Honorary Master
Yep. Mines as wiry as hell and although he has bad core muscles, he does weekly swimming ( can swim proper freestlye and breaststroke now ) and climbs jungle gyms etc. As much excercise via fun we can give him, we try. He has a younger brother who"s three and perfectly normal full term.
See, that's funny. Saying you feel like smashing a baby's brains against the wall isn't.
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