Jeremy Clarkson is a doomer!

[StrongTurd]

Wow! I've watched every single episode of Top Gear since 2002 and have read countless articles and newspaper columns that he wrote. To me he always personified capitalist greed and mindless consumerism.

Well, either his eyes have opened to what's happening around him or I've always had a completely wrong opinion of the man.

I think mainly this is because the government is not telling us the truth. It’s painting Gordon Brown as a global economic messiah and fiddling about with Vat, pretending that the coming recession will be bad. But that it can deal with it.

I don’t think it can. I have spoken to a couple of pretty senior bankers in the past couple of weeks and their story is rather different. They don’t refer to the looming problems as being like 1992 or even 1929. They talk about a total financial meltdown. They talk about the End of Days.

It is impossible for someone who scored a U in his economics A-level to grapple with the consequences of all this but I’m told that in simple terms money will cease to function as a meaningful commodity. The binary dots and dashes that fuel the entire system will flicker and die. And without money there will be no business. No means of selling goods. No means of transporting them. No means of making them in the first place even. That’s why another friend of mine has recently sold his London house and bought somewhere in the country . . . with a kitchen garden.

These, as I see them, are the facts. Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we had only £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth. And that’s going to be a problem if you were living on the breadline beforehand.

Eventually, of course, the system will reboot itself, but for a while there will be absolute chaos: riots, lynchings, starvation. It’ll be a world without power or fuel, and with no fuel there’s no way the modern agricultural system can be maintained. Which means there will be no food either. You might like to stop and think about that for a while.

Right now, there are two paths you can go down. You can either adopt the Irish attitude to the impending catastrophe and party like it’s 1999. In which case you are better off ignoring the Vauxhall and buying a 24ft Donzi speedboat instead.

Or you can actually start to make some sensible preparations for the complete breakdown in society. In which case you don’t want a Vauxhall either. Better to spend the money on a pair of shotguns and an allotment.

Welcome to the dark side, Mr. Clarkson. Look on the bright side. At least you've got the financial means to do something very significant about your position. Very few of us are that fortunate.

 

[marine1]

Time to stock up on ammo and weapons.

 

[Alan]

What happened to peak oil again?

 

[StrongTurd]

What happened to peak oil again?

It occurred in May 2005. Since then we've been on a production plateau. The inability of supply to keep up with booming demand from the East made the oil price shoot up to $147. This caused the credit and housing bubbles to collapse. This pretty much destroyed the demand for oil and, as a result, the oil price. It is possible that massive financial injections by the World's central banks might kick start the economy again. But oil production will probably never again reach the level of May 2005. The economy is bound to swing wildly up and down for quite a long time. The inherent problem of declining energy supplies will eventually be the undoing of the whole shebang, however.

 

[d0b33]

Clarkson is a hippie in a fat man suit, I knew it all along.

 

[The_Right_Honourable_Brit]

It occurred in May 2005. Since then we've been on a production plateau. The inability of supply to keep up with booming demand from the East made the oil price shoot up to $147. This caused the credit and housing bubbles to collapse. This pretty much destroyed the demand for oil and, as a result, the oil price. It is possible that massive financial injections by the World's central banks might kick start the economy again. But oil production will probably never again reach the level of May 2005. The economy is bound to swing wildly up and down for quite a long time. The inherent problem of declining energy supplies will eventually be the undoing of the whole shebang, however.

I think Alan could also be referring to the fact that many tinpot analysts (including some people on this very forum) predicted oil of $200/barrel by the end of this year, or sometime in the very near future. What these analysts forgot to take into account is when economies go into recession, the oil price also drops.

 

[StrongTurd]

I think Alan could also be referring to the fact that many tinpot analysts (including some people on this very forum) predicted oil of $200/barrel by the end of this year, or sometime in the very near future. What these analysts forgot to take into account is when economies go into recession, the oil price also drops.

Probably. It does not change anything about peak oil, though. The classic PO theory says that there will be lots of price volatility. But yeah, everybody thought that the new floor would be around $80 - $90.

 

[BrrIan]

If you read the whole article all signs point to taking the mickey.

 

[Redeemed]

Time to stock up on ammo and weapons.

And not non-perishable food?

 

[Hoof-Hearted]

And not non-perishable food?

Think those tins of baked beans and sardines I've had stored since '94 will still be OK ??

 

[Slaine73]

Think those tins of baked beans and sardines I've had stored since '94 will still be OK ??

ROFL. 1994...we just stocked up on beer and other alcohol, that only lasted us from the Tuesday to the Saturday...was one hell of a party

 

[Pilgrim]

If you read the whole article all signs point to taking the mickey.

My thinking too.

Yes the world is in for a tough time, no the world will not end.

 

[StrongTurd]

If you read the whole article all signs point to taking the mickey.

Care to point out one such sign?

 

[Pilgrim]

Care to point out one such sign?

I have, and as a result I can see the day when I will have to shoot some of my neighbours - maybe even David Cameron - as we fight for the last bar of Fry’s Turkish Delight in the smoking ruin that was Chipping Norton’s post office.

Perhaps this part? If that does not reek of joking then I don't know what does.

 

[Captain Slog]

Care to point out one such sign?

Perhaps this part? If that does not reek of joking then I don't know what does.

I have, and as a result I can see the day when I will have to shoot some of my neighbours - maybe even David Cameron - as we fight for the last bar of Fry’s Turkish Delight in the smoking ruin that was Chipping Norton’s post office.

I think that looking at who the author is is the first indication of a p!ss take - enough for me.

 

[Koos Custodiet]

If you read the whole article all signs point to taking the mickey.

Of course! It's Clarkson...

 

[Pilgrim]

I think that looking at who the author is is the first indication of a p!ss take - enough for me.

That is true.

But some people don't believe that and when they read a paragraph that suites their "the world is still ending..." they quote it and show how it proves their point.

But I think the paragraph I quoted proves our point

 

[TMoose]

And here I thought he was being his sarcastic, humorist self.

 

[StrongTurd]

That is true.

But some people don't believe that and when they read a paragraph that suites their "the world is still ending..." they quote it and show how it proves their point.

But I think the paragraph I quoted proves our point

That is true.

But some people believe that and when they read a paragraph that suits their "the world is not ending..." they quote it and show how it proves their point.

But I think all the other paragraphs prove my point.

 

[Pilgrim]

So if I find a satire article that has "proof" that aliens have indeed invaded our planet and most of us are slaves, then I can use most of those paragraphs as proof?

Cool!