Just need to vent...

[hashbrown99]

It doesn't matter. If something is over it's over, and staying in a poisonous marriage is going to damage the 2 little ones more than breaking cleanly and taking them out of it. You know what it's like as a child to know your parents hate each other and sit in the middle of this cloud of vitriol between them for years on end; but they're staying together 'for your sake'?

What he said. The whole "staying together for the kids" thing does no one any favors - not the parents or the kids

I hope you find your answers

 

[Friedpet]

I also think that as soon as you make up your mind that divorce is ok (or might be solution) it will eventually become the solution (instead of perhaps better conflict management or better communication). I prefer to not even consider the possibility - gives me the drive and security to work through issues my wife and I have as "divorce is not an option".

Well said. The power of the mind is amazing - as soos as 'he' gives up, you will follow soon! You see that in all spheres of life e.g. When running races I try not to think how far I am from finishing, because everytime I think the finish is around the corner, my body starts to 'finish' the race and it's so much more difficult to continue there after... It's the same with everything else, even marrage.

It difficult times, I always remind myself: "It's a bend, not the end. Don't give up"