Lawn Renovations

[Fuma]

I use to hate these things. They're so damn loud, and our old place had the garden area right outside the bedroom window.

I use to go on a rampage. My wife thought I was mad. I was scared to use pesticide because of my dogs. I use to walk around in the night, holding a pair of garden scissors in one hand, watering can with a mix of dishwashing liquid and water in the other, and penlight in my mouth.

I stalked slowly, so as to not disturb the f uckers. Once I identified the general area, I poured out the sunlight mixture over where I thought the sound was coming from. They came up to breathe, and I used to chop them up up with the garden scissors. Then continue the stalk to the next area.

I'm so happy I moved from that place.

Lol. Damn. So you are saying the only solution is to move out?

I read about the soap thing, but I just want to kill them and to deter their cousins from coming to my holy lawn.