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semisane1987

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Good evening I feel empty tonight need to do some soul searching.

I'm a 29 years old black guy I'm an orphan my parents died when I was you. I had two brothers they also passed away, so basically I'm the last one standing in my family. I'm not really close to my mother or father's siblings some family issues. I'm on my own only see my cousins at family events like funeral or wedding.

I'm working earning average salary like everyone I stay in my parents house alone with two tenants at the back rooms. From reading you would say my life is some how normal. No I'm gay at my age now I feel empty like I'm wasting my time, I have that feeling of belonging. I'm gay no doubt but I'm feel like I should get a nice decent girl marry her start my own family be a family man. Being gay is nice in early 20s but as time goes by you see it's really not worth.

In gay world love does not exist it's all about looking fabulous and impressing others. I'm gay I have no doubt about that but would it be a bad thing if I do a turn around and try to force myself to love girls. Because currently I feel empty like I should die and restart my life.
 
Marry another gay guy and adopt a kid. That way you have the best of both worlds. Be yourself and have a family.
 
skimread said:
Marry another gay guy and adopt a kid. That way you have the best of both worlds. Be yourself and have a family.
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^^this, it seems like a pretty good deal.

Like on modern family.
I just love Cam and Mitchel
 
Yes don't force yourself to be something you are not. If you think your life is miserable now - it will be much worse. Surrounding yourself with people/family won't change how you feel about your life or inside. You have had a hard life - consider going to a professional to talk about it. Asking us on a forum is a really bad idea. You are going to get all sorts of comments - some will be genuine and some you really won't like. Hope you have a thick skin.

I have many gay friends that are married and most of them are not fabulous all the time. You need to change where you are meeting people. And we do not have a reset button - you cannot kill yourself and start over unless you really really know reincarnation is real - and sure you will come back as a human and not some animal. That feeling of not having achieved anything is normal. We all experience it. You then need to find out what it is you want to do - and go and do it. Make a difference in someone's life.
 
Akasha said:
I don't think you should even consider that. I agree with skimread. You don't need to reproduce. You can adopt.

Also you say you're the only sibling left, what about your sister? https://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showth...in-the-car?p=19601404&viewfull=1#post19601404
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She is my cousin the only one I'm closed she got three kids. Things are not well also for her. She is barely 25 years old no matric. I'm thinking of taking her older son next year at least to fine something meaningful in my life. She also had it rough made some bad choice along the way.
 
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Ramodiana said:
I'm thinking of taking her older son next year at least to fine something meaningful in my life.
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Don't use other people to fill the holes in your life. Work on yourself first; learn to look in the mirror and smile.
 
Indeed the is no restart button in life I mostly feel like this when I'm home, like today I spend the whole day athome. Finding love in gay community is a mission I'm 29 years old only been in 1 serious relationship. I think I should talk to a professional afterwards look at my budget see if I can take my cousin's older son to come live with me.
 
Dont be sad Ramodiana, you have a job, a house and rent coming in every month from your tenants.

It's soul destroying being alone over weekends, sunday evening being the worst. On top of that tomorrow's a holiday.

Being gay is absolutely fine and trying to change yourself won't help. Have you thought about getting a part time job that passes time on saturdays where you might meet people?
 
Oh you can obviously try to go clubbing and make a fling serious.
 
Find a nice woman who loves you and start life together. Your current life is leaving you empty.

Do the right thing friend.
 
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time Ramodiana. Children are such a joy and can definitely help to fill up the empty spaces. You could look into adoption if it doesn't work out with your nephew and if you feel that you must have a child.

Something else that can help right now is adopting a pet. A puppy will love you unconditionally and won't let you feel lonely. Just something for you to think about. Please don't change who you are. Happiness doesn't lie on that road.

I would also suggest you seek therapy/see a psychologist. Reading between the lines, my personal opinion is that you may be suffering from depression.
 
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Yes. Do the right thing. Don't follow this maniac's advice. Don't change who you are for anyone/anything
 
Patrick_Hockstetter said:
Find a nice woman who loves you and start life together. Your current life is leaving you empty.

Do the right thing friend.
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Brilliant advice........... ....not.....

OP. ....whatever you do, do NOT destroy a woman's life because of your issues.....please.........
 
Ramodiana said:
In gay world love does not exist it's all about looking fabulous and impressing others. I'm gay I have no doubt about that but would it be a bad thing if I do a turn around and try to force myself to love girls. Because currently I feel empty like I should die and restart my life.
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What utter nonsense.

I know gay couples that have been together longer than most straight couple out there.

And it's certainly not all about looking fabulous or impressing others.

Some of them approaching their 40's, some their 60's and even some almost in their 80's.
 
I'm a 29 years old black guy I'm an orphan my parents died when I was you. I had two brothers they also passed away, so basically I'm the last one standing in my family. I'm not really close to my mother or father's siblings some family issues. I'm on my own only see my cousins at family events like funeral or wedding.
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Sometimes friendship is worth more than blood(family).

I'm working earning average salary like everyone I stay in my parents house alone with two tenants at the back rooms. From reading you would say my life is some how normal. No I'm gay at my age now I feel empty like I'm wasting my time, I have that feeling of belonging. I'm gay no doubt but I'm feel like I should get a nice decent girl marry her start my own family be a family man. Being gay is nice in early 20s but as time goes by you see it's really not worth.
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Wanting to use another person to fill the void in your life is a huge mistake! It sets unrealistic expectations on the other person, placing the burden on them to make you happy is unfair and the relationship will be doomed before it begins.

In gay world love does not exist it's all about looking fabulous and impressing others. I'm gay I have no doubt about that but would it be a bad thing if I do a turn around and try to force myself to love girls. Because currently I feel empty like I should die and restart my life.
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Has nothing to do with straight or gay but more with the type of people you hanging around with. There are many down to earth gay guys out there...
 
If you're gay, Do not change who you are. You'll be unhappier, don't go looking for a partner, just relax enjoy yourself, go on dates meet guys and maybe it will happen.
But always stay true to yourself, maybe look at a pet of some sorts?
 
SauRoNZA said:
What utter nonsense.

I know gay couples that have been together longer than most straight couple out there.

And it's certainly not all about looking fabulous or impressing others.

Some of them approaching their 40's, some their 60's and even some almost in their 80's.
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Does that mean they love each other just because they have been together fir a long time? Convenience?
 
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