long hair

[Dolby]

You guys have put me off wanting a daughter

 

[Jase]

At last a real issue being discussed! I think it is disgusting that some parents dress their babies, as that is what they are still, as ladies. Earrings should not be allowed before the age of 16 at least!

I thought so too then my wife explained that she had her ears pierced at around 11 or 12 and it was extremely traumatic for her and wished it had been done when she was younger.

Touching on the subject of child neglect - why can't they set a fixed limit of two children per household (if the parents are poor) and then sterilize both parents on the state's expense?

Whilst I agree with you, a picture of a delivery room and a bucket comes to mind.

 

[Hot_Chocolate]

At last a real issue being discussed! I think it is disgusting that some parents dress their babies, as that is what they are still, as ladies. Earrings should not be allowed before the age of 16 at least! Then you get the 5/6 year olds that get dressed in mini skirts, high heels etc. DISGUSTING!

and when they are teenagers and wanna wear this, the parents forbid them and they can't understand why. they were always allowed to wear it before...

 

[Hot_Chocolate]

You guys have put me off wanting a daughter

sorry. not all kids are the same, just remember that

 

[LancelotSA]

I thought so too then my wife explained that she had her ears pierced at around 11 or 12 and it was extremely traumatic for her and wished it had been done when she was younger.

So why did they do it at 11 then? As I said 16 when they can make their own decision... same like a tattoo... it hurts but I am not going to let me daughter get one when she is younger so that it doesn't hurt. And out of interest, where is the scientific study that shows that piercings hurt less when you are younger than 10?

and when they are teenagers and wanna wear this, the parents forbid them and they can't understand why. they were always allowed to wear it before...

Not sure I am understanding you here. If they have never been allowed to wear them then then they would not be wondering that... I'm sorry but when you parents dress their little kids as "sexy ladies" what are they actually hoping to achieve? We all know their are paedophiles walking around amongst us.... you are merely throwing out bait..... but we are getting off your hair topic now...

 

[Jase]

You guys have put me off wanting a daughter

No way, my daughter was only semi-planned (it's complicated) and even her much older brother absolutely adores her to bits. I actually feel sorry for her potential boyfriends one day as they need to get through a double interview!

 

[blunomore]

Touching on the subject of child neglect - why can't they set a fixed limit of two children per household (if the parents are poor) and then sterilize both parents on the state's expense? Cry out that it will be against these parent's rights to have children - but who will be influenced more - the unhappy children without food, clothing or proper care, or the parents?

It sounds like a reasonable solution. However, once the state starts taking away your rights, the easier it becomes for them to take away more and more, ESPECIALLY in the hands of a bad government.

Not sure I am understanding you here. If they have never been allowed to wear them then then they would not be wondering that....

You foget the nature of the teenager - anything that is forbidden, becomes exciting.

 

[LancelotSA]

You foget the nature of the teenager - anything that is forbidden, becomes exciting.

Yip, but there is just saying "no you just can't do that" and then there is explaining why. Same with alcohol and smoking.... I am going to forbid that too and explain why.

 

[Hot_Chocolate]

Yip, but there is just saying "no you just can't do that" and then there is explaining why. Same with alcohol and smoking.... I am going to forbid that too and explain why.

yes, that is the best way.

but it is not gonna stop them. I remember how I used to do everything my mom told me not to. (I didn't do drugs, sleep around, or go to clubs).

And it is still the same today. All you can really do, is arm them with knowledge to be able to choose between right and wrong. But remember that they will more often choose the wrong (due to peer pressure)

 

[LancelotSA]

The relationship with the child, and the developing of trust, starts long before they reach that age where you need to start warning them about the dangers.... if you have developed a bond with them then advising them what to do should be accepted by them. I saw it with my siblings. I have seen it with my much younger cousins. I am seeing it with my older brother's children... yes, maybe they were just "lucky" but I intend to create the same environment for my daughter.

Perhaps one rebels against what the parent says as their is some resentment (I see this with my girlfriend's relationship with her mother... and to almost prove it her sister also has this rebellious streak against what their mom says... and they are no longer kids)

 

[SlinkyMike]

Touching on the subject of child neglect - why can't they set a fixed limit of two children per household (if the parents are poor) and then sterilize both parents on the state's expense? Cry out that it will be against these parent's rights to have children - but who will be influenced more - the unhappy children without food, clothing or proper care, or the parents?

It sounds like a reasonable solution. However, once the state starts taking away your rights, the easier it becomes for them to take away more and more, ESPECIALLY in the hands of a bad government.

You people frighten me... seriously?

At least blu starts making sense toward the end... The_Lib: have you not seen the photographs of the tiny graves of baby girls in China?

 

[blunomore]

The relationship with the child, and the developing of trust, starts long before they reach that age where you need to start warning them about the dangers.... if you have developed a bond with them then advising them what to do should be accepted by them. I saw it with my siblings. I have seen it with my much younger cousins. I am seeing it with my older brother's children... yes, maybe they were just "lucky" but I intend to create the same environment for my daughter.

Perhaps one rebels against what the parent says as their is some resentment (I see this with my girlfriend's relationship with her mother... and to almost prove it her sister also has this rebellious streak against what their mom says... and they are no longer kids)

That's nice, just remember you cannot create the perfect child and neither should you try. Allow them to mistakes, within reason. They are only human.

 

[Kilgore_Trout_Redux]

Wow, all this out of an observation about long hair on a toddler. I just think the parents believe that they are payimg the creché enough for them to brush their daughter's hair.

 

[Jase]

Well my Daughters creché does cost twice as much as my sons school fees, but the quality is also noticable (private vs guavament) and they do feed her.

 

[Hot_Chocolate]

Wow, all this out of an observation about long hair on a toddler. I just think the parents believe that they are payimg the creché enough for them to brush their daughter's hair.

Well my Daughters creché does cost twice as much as my sons school fees, but the quality is also noticable (private vs guavament) and they do feed her.

lol

true, Jase

and Brendan, I am one of the cheapest schools around in pta. Not because my services are cheap, but because I realise there are parents out there that also struggle financially, but still need a place for their kids to go to during the day.

And I prefer to do these things when the parents don't. So that the parents can see I also take to heart their children's well-being.

 

[Kilgore_Trout_Redux]

Brendan, I am one of the cheapest schools around in pta. Not because my services are cheap, but because I realise there are parents out there that also struggle financially, but still need a place for their kids to go to during the day.

And I prefer to do these things when the parents don't. So that the parents can see I also take to heart their children's well-being.

That is very cool.

 

[guest2013-1]

ok, I want some feed back from others.

What is it with some parents (dads specifically) that insists that lil girls must have long hair??

lil girl I'm looking after will be 2 in sep. Her dad insists she must have long hair. But every day is such a struggle with the hair. The mom just sends the brush, elastics and clips to school so that I can do her hair.

I don't mind at all. But even though I work gentle with her, she always cries.

Why can't they just cut her hair in a pretty short style till she is older??

Ek hou van meisies met lang hare en kan die horries kry as my sussie haar kinders se hare kortknip, veral die seuntjie wat lekker krul hare soos ek het. My hare is nou onder my skouers maar omdat dit so krul lyk dit baie kort.

Ek stem dat die hare dalk 'n probleem sal wees maar jy moet tog bietjie gaan kyk oor hoekom die meisie huil. Dit kan wees dat sy baie sensitiewe kop vel het en/of die ouers dit al rou gekam het

'n Vriendin van my het baie sensitiewe vel en 'n gewone kam maak haar so seer dat jy letterlik die rooi strepe kan sien soos dit op haar kop begin uitstaan as jy deur haar hare kyk. Sy't amper in haar beste broeke benat toe sy nou die dag gegaan het vir highlights en die tannie 'n bietjie te rof (volgens haar) gewerk het met die dingetjie wat hulle gebruik om die hare apart te maak mee (dink dis 'n borsel of iets?)

So pasop maar...

Translation for Dolby -

I like girls with long hair and can get quite pissed off if my sister cuts her kids hair short, especially her little boy who has awesome curls like I do. My hair is sitting beneath my shoulders no but because of the curls it looks like it's short.

I agree that the hair could be the problem but you have to ask the little girl why she's crying. It can be that her skin is very sensitive and that the parents might have combed it too hard the previous night.

a friend of mine has very sensitive skin and a normal comb creates so much pain and that you can actually see the red marks it creates on her skin beneath the hair. She almost died when she went for highlights and the hairdresser were a bit too rough (according to her) with her hair with the little thing they use (sort of like a comb?)

So be careful

 

[guest2013-1]

I remember how I used to do everything my mom told me not to

Ek dink dat meisies (volgens wat ek nou al opgelet het) het meer 'n neiging om teen hulle ma se advies te draai as enige iets anders (veral die pa ook)

Ek het al aanvaar dat dit is hoe dit is maar dit gaan my nie keer om streng op te tree sodat hulle weet waar die lyn is en om dit nie te oortree nie.

Stem ook saam met julle oor die inligting beskikbaar tot 'n kind. Ek maak 'n punt daarvan om normaal met 'n baba/kleintjie te gesels en nie my stem soos 'n in-die-bal-geskopte-persoon te hef nie. Ek gebruik ook regte woorde ipv "nana, dudu" en kleinighede wat nie in die groot mens wereld gebruik word nie. Ek glo dit help die taal beter aan en die kind word woordwys vroeer in hulle lewe.

Ek laat ook hulle engelse televisie kyk. Nou wat was die punt wat ek wou maak.... oh ja... jy moet nie die kind hanteer asof hulle niks weet nie. Hulle is baie slim, en as jy vroegtydig vir hulle vertel van alles en die wereld sonder om kras of negatief te wees oor daardie aspekte, sal hulle beter grootword en nie bang wees om vrae te vra nie.

Dis nogal skrikwekkend om te dink dat sommige ouers nie weet hoe om vir hulle kind te verduidelik waar babas vanaand kom nie.... en/of stories opmaak wat die kind dan glo nie. Sodra die kind uitvind dat wat jy vir hom/haar vertel het nie die waarheid is nie (seriously nou, hulle SAL uitvind)... dan verloor jy daardie respek en vertroue wat jy probeer opbou het met die kind in die eerste plek.

"Pappa en Mamma het vir my gejok, waaroor jok hulle nog? My vriende se ek kannie swanger raak terwyl ek op my maandstonde is nie, my ouers se ek kan, ek glo eerder my vriende wat ma en pa jok mos vir my net omdat hulle nie wil he ek moet my lewe geniet nie, hulle is teen my" <-- en daar rebel die girl

Translation for Dolby:
I think that girls (according to what I noticed) is more likely to rebel against their mom's advice more than anything else (her dad as well)

I have accepted that that is how it will be, but it won't stop me from being strict with her and let her know where the line is.

I also agree with educating the child at a young age. I make a point of it to talk to a child normally. Not in the baby talk using high pitched sounds or "dudu nana, dada" type words that won't be used in a "big girls world". They're very smart and if you start from an early age and educate them about the world and how it works without being negative or overly unsensitive about these subjects, that they will grow up without being scared to ask questions and finding things out.

It is scary to think that some parents don't know how to explain something to the child, like where babies come from, and make up stories that the child believes. Then when the child does find out where babies come from and learn the truth (seriously, they WILL eventually find out)... then you lose the respect and trust you're trying to build up with your child in the first place.

"Dad and Mom lied to me, what else have they been lying about? My friends say that I can't get pregnant while on my period, and my parents says I can, I'd rather believe my friends because mom and dad likes to lie to me just because they don't want me to enjoy my life, they're soooo against me!" <-- commence the rebelling

*Addition*

So if you're open and honest with your child and treat them like a human and not some kind of being that loves high pitches nonsense words and treat them like they're smart enough to understand (and even if they don't get it the first time, you can sit with them and try and explain till they do get it)... you will get a lot more out of that than being embarrassed about what a penis and vagina is and what happens when a man really loves a woman (or sometimes the idea of a woman --- but that's being negative... )

 

[Dolby]

You mind to sticking to english?

Your posts are usually quite interesting and I've missed the last few

 

[guest2013-1]

You mind to sticking to english?

Your posts are usually quite interesting and I've missed the last few

Hehe, okay I'll try and translate them for you quick, but it won't hurt learning a bit of afrikaans, I promise!