No spanking at home

chiskop said:
So its alright to beat her until the point that she does analyse it?

She doesn't need to analyse it to act out on it, and that is not the sort of behaviour I want my child emulating.
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Don't worry m8. You'll reap what u sow.

My kids understand hiding and that it hurst. If my Little girls hits her brother he must hit her back. That stopped them from hitting each other. I know that every parent believes his way is the right way. I'm using the tried and tested method that actually does work. I'm living proof of it and so is my brothers. We got Bad hidings sometimes but because we where 3 naughty as hell boys and got what we deserved. I have all the respect in the world for other people and their things. I have great personal skills with people and friends. Because I know my place.

I know of people raised your way and believe me, the picture is not pretty.

Either way I'm not saying your way is wrong, however you won't know the ways of your teaching untill they reach teens.
 
Each parent will use their own past experience to teach their child. I remember getting hectic beatings, if I did anything wrong. I always said that I wouldn't do that to my child. And, I wont. They will get a hiding if the situation warrants it. But, I wont hit them until they are black and blue, neither will I hit them until that they have scars. I have learnt over the years to remove myself emotionally from any situation, and to deal with it with a clear mind.
 
chiskop said:
So its alright to beat her until the point that she does analyse it?

She doesn't need to analyse it to act out on it, and that is not the sort of behaviour I want my child emulating.
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Just because it's a tool to get one's child to behave doesn't mean it's the only thing you can do to get a kid to behave and it certainly shouldn't be the first line of defence.

That said, there's far worse ways to screw up a child than a hiding every now and again and you don't even have to physically touch them. And they're legal, too. :(
 
skoob said:
Each parent will use their own past experience to teach their child. I remember getting hectic beatings, if I did anything wrong. I always said that I wouldn't do that to my child. And, I wont. They will get a hiding if the situation warrants it. But, I wont hit them until they are black and blue, neither will I hit them until that they have scars. I have learnt over the years to remove myself emotionally from any situation, and to deal with it with a clear mind.
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The scars thing is a bit over board.

I don't hit my kids while angry. I send them to the bathroom, have a smoke for about 5 minutes then they get their hiding. Hitting your kids while agry is a really bad idea. You'll really hit them with no end and that is really bad.

Chill first then give them a good hiding.
 
Pitbull said:
The scars thing is a bit over board.

I don't hit my kids while angry. I send them to the bathroom, have a smoke for about 5 minutes then they get their hiding. Hitting your kids while agry is a really bad idea. You'll really hit them with no end and that is really bad.

Chill first then give them a good hiding.
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I totally agree with your comments.
 
Pitbull said:
The scars thing is a bit over board.

I don't hit my kids while angry. I send them to the bathroom, have a smoke for about 5 minutes then they get their hiding. Hitting your kids while agry is a really bad idea. You'll really hit them with no end and that is really bad.

Chill first then give them a good hiding.
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Lol. They probably think you want them to sweat. :p
 
Disregarding whether or not hitting kids is right/justified or not for a moment, I think its too simplistic to say that this is the only difference between people that are brought up well and those who run wild, it seems like a lot of parents apologise and accept their child's behaviour these days and then expect the rest of the world to do the same, that has nothing to do with whether or not they hit them.
 
I actually fully support corporal punishment, but I have noticed a lot of teachers and parents have wielded that authority with an unrequired amount of zeal.
 
It can be difficult to get the attention of a boisterous young child to stop them from hurting themselves or get them to stop and listen to you. A quick rap will usually do the trick. But what if it does not? How many more blows are appropriate? At what point does it become abuse? If this is necessary because you cannot reason with a small child, then what is the cut-off age? Should you be allowed to use implements to hit a child? Can we hit a child anywhere on their body? If not, why not?

Maybe discipline went out the window when corporal punishment was banned because it was in fact the first and last resort for disciplining children. That seems to be the general attitude - if I can't hit my children I have to let them run wild.

Apparently hitting children prevents them from becoming bullies and axe murderers. What about serial killers? Are rapists and other violent people that way because they weren't given enough beatings as children?
 
One can always use the "go to your room , NOW" line.
But the kid will just refuse knowing there's nothing you can do. This does not work in the UK, it won't work here either. The UK kids are the most unruly even their teachers don't want to teach them. A friend of mine teaching in the UK got a 'hot klap' from a high school pupil and had to run out of the classroom...
 
Bageloo said:
One can always use the "go to your room , NOW" line.
But the kid will just refuse knowing there's nothing you can do. This does not work in the UK, it won't work here either. The UK kids are the most unruly even their teachers don't want to teach them. A friend of mine teaching in the UK got a 'hot klap' from a high school pupil and had to run out of the classroom...
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Donner die klein bliksempies ! :p :D
 
noxibox said:
It can be difficult to get the attention of a boisterous young child to stop them from hurting themselves or get them to stop and listen to you. A quick rap will usually do the trick. But what if it does not? How many more blows are appropriate? At what point does it become abuse? If this is necessary because you cannot reason with a small child, then what is the cut-off age? Should you be allowed to use implements to hit a child? Can we hit a child anywhere on their body? If not, why not?

Maybe discipline went out the window when corporal punishment was banned because it was in fact the first and last resort for disciplining children. That seems to be the general attitude - if I can't hit my children I have to let them run wild.

Apparently hitting children prevents them from becoming bullies and axe murderers. What about serial killers? Are rapists and other violent people that way because they weren't given enough beatings as children?
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I hate it when ppl use oversimplification as an argument. It just sounds ridiculous. Obviously serial killers are ppl with problems that run deeper than just an undisciplined upbringing. We're talking here about brats who own their parents. If what you say is true, we'd have serial killers offing ppl left, right and centre. How ridiculous does that sound?
 
I let my kid decide his punishment.

Same as always, if he does wrong, he is off to his room for 5 minutes whilst I have a chill smoke and do my deciding. In that 5 minutes I expect him to write down what he did wrong and what his punishment should be.

I do the same.

After 5 minutes, we compare notes. If his punishment is less harsh than what I decided, then we do my punishment.
If his punishment is harsher than what I wrote down, then we do it his way.

Invariably, he will ask for a swift klap on the head, and a timeout in his room for 2 hours with no tv etc.

Another thing, for swift klap times like when he may say something cheeky, DONT run after your kids to whack them. Call them to come to you and take their punishment like a man with pride. My kid knows to do this, and it is over very quickly. He also knows if I have to run after him to deliver punishment then it will be much worse than if he just comes to me. I'm lazy like that.

Lat trick I do, sometimes when he is in his room contemplating what he did wrong, I go mow the lawn...starting from the fence and working my way towards the house..he can hear the lawnmower getting closer and closer to his room, slowly slowly. By the time I am done mowing the lawn he is convinced Satan is about to spike him with a trident for doing bad things, and he has already been in his room for about an hour. haha.

It sounds cruel, but I seldom have to touch the kid, he is good as gold. Let them decide their punishment.
 
Renamed20070410 said:
I let my kid decide his punishment.

Same as always, if he does wrong, he is off to his room for 5 minutes whilst I have a chill smoke and do my deciding. In that 5 minutes I expect him to write down what he did wrong and what his punishment should be.

I do the same.

After 5 minutes, we compare notes. If his punishment is less harsh than what I decided, then we do my punishment.
If his punishment is harsher than what I wrote down, then we do it his way.

Invariably, he will ask for a swift klap on the head, and a timeout in his room for 2 hours with no tv etc.

Another thing, for swift klap times like when he may say something cheeky, DONT run after your kids to whack them. Call them to come to you and take their punishment like a man with pride. My kid knows to do this, and it is over very quickly. He also knows if I have to run after him to deliver punishment then it will be much worse than if he just comes to me. I'm lazy like that.

Lat trick I do, sometimes when he is in his room contemplating what he did wrong, I go mow the lawn...starting from the fence and working my way towards the house..he can hear the lawnmower getting closer and closer to his room, slowly slowly. By the time I am done mowing the lawn he is convinced Satan is about to spike him with a trident for doing bad things, and he has already been in his room for about an hour. haha.

It sounds cruel, but I seldom have to touch the kid, he is good as gold. Let them decide their punishment.
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I like your idea.
 
Renamed20070410 said:
I let my kid decide his punishment.

After 5 minutes, we compare notes. If his punishment is less harsh than what I decided, then we do my punishment.
If his punishment is harsher than what I wrote down, then we do it his way.
Click to expand...

Psychological warfare, I like it. If only everyone had your patience. Just don't mentally scar the kid too much! :D
 
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