Non religious support groups, For men

marbro said:
No need to justify your post, its the internet. You dont need to be a decent human.
You go pray to that all powerful, all knowing being that could end every bit of pain and suffering, but chooses rather to test us constantly after giving us free will.

It dawned on me earlier today, The reason why Support groups and religion are so close together, Religion prays on the weak, takes vulnerable souls and promises them happiness and joy, If it can deliver on those promises, who knows...
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1 Corinthians 13:11 was written explicitly for you.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I assume in your childish way you will misinterpret it and get angry.
 
marbro said:
Why the ****ing **** dont we have Non religious support groups in South africa?
Specifically for men,

**** this ****
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Try lookup a death cafe in your area, it's not for only men but all people who have lost. Sometimes it gets into spiritual nonsense but the chats afterwards with the normal people were good for me. I still speak to one of the people often.

I tried a few "meet up" groups and some were better than others but I prefered the death cafe meet ups.

Other than that speaking to a non religious psychologist is always a good idea and helped me process the stuff I was feeling.

Sorry for your loss.

Don't worry about the religious nutters, they think some higher power will make them feel better when it is them healing by themselves.
 
Scary_Turtle said:
Try lookup a death cafe in your area, it's not for only men but all people who have lost. Sometimes it gets into spiritual nonsense but the chats afterwards with the normal people were good for me. I still speak to one of the people often.

I tried a few "meet up" groups and some were better than others but I prefered the death cafe meet ups.

Other than that speaking to a non religious psychologist is always a good idea and helped me process the stuff I was feeling.

Sorry for your loss.

Don't worry about the religious nutters, they think some higher power will make them feel better when it is them healing by themselves.
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Wait, you've met a psych who tried to steer you towards religious belief and faith? My Bru, that's a dominee moonlighting as a shrink. Did the office smell of those little psalms en gesange verse books in the ng kerk?
 
marbro said:
No need to justify your post, its the internet. You dont need to be a decent human.
You go pray to that all powerful, all knowing being that could end every bit of pain and suffering, but chooses rather to test us constantly after giving us free will.

It dawned on me earlier today, The reason why Support groups and religion are so close together, Religion prays on the weak, takes vulnerable souls and promises them happiness and joy, If it can deliver on those promises, who knows...
Click to expand...
I want to argue/debate but feel it's not the right time or place. Losing someone you love is horrible and hurts like hell. It's okay to be angry and I feel one should be, just if misdirected can really make live bitter in the long run. There are a lot of people on this forum who carry a deep hatred for something they do not believe in or think exist and have never really moved on, so hope you find good support so you can cope with what you going through and get stronger however long it needs to take. :(
 
marbro said:
are we not all children , of god?

This has derailed... Not going to bother with anymore, You be you, i be me...
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Hey man,

I didn't go thru such a huge loss like you did, but I do live with quite a bit of issues and guilt that I can't really open up to people about and it can be overwhelming at times. As tough and invincible as I make myself out to be, my brain does tend to wander back to craving community, purpose, a plan, etc.

I genuinely don't think you will find what you are looking for, and I say that because I think the next few weeks and months are going to be hard for you, but you'll get used to it - it won't get better or worse, but you'll get used to it. One day you might catch yourself looking forward to something somewhere once again, but I think a hard reality that a lot of people need to accept is that they're going to have to go thru something long, dark, and alone.

And even if you do find someone to talk to, it'll help for the time being, but it won't have the long term benefits we all hope it does.

I can't assume to know you or what you are going thru, but if you are going thru intense pain and feel alone, I know that feeling - and I know you want to shake it off and it can be scary.

Let us know if you ever find that support group, but stay awhile here and talk to us idiots - it's a great distraction
 
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pinball wizard said:
I assume in your childish way you will misinterpret it and get angry.
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I don't think this is completely fair. Having lost someone very close to me due to cancer, going from 90KG+ to just skin and bones, and seeing how my wife must suffer every day for the last 8 years due to something the doctors can't treat. We all reach a point in live where things are just very dark and hollow. I think there is place for anger, and its okay, I am pretty sure god can handle it. Personally I just encourage to seek help and support because OP really needs it right now, and work through these emotions and pain and then hopefully get stronger again over time.

I think the reason why most support groups are religious groups is because they are non proffit. If you willing to pay you could consider phycologist or a professional grief counselor in your area.
 
pinball wizard said:
1 Corinthians 13:11 was written explicitly for you.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I assume in your childish way you will misinterpret it and get angry.
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Do you enjoy watching Simpsons, South Park and Futurama? Don't lie, Jesus is watching you.
 
pinball wizard said:
1 Corinthians 13:11 was written explicitly for you.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I assume in your childish way you will misinterpret it and get angry.
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Bru no. Imagine I quote the Bhagavad Gita to you. Telling you to not get angry when I refer to you as purely Atman with not a shred of Brahman shining through.

And then tell you not misinterpreted being called your base primitive human self.

All of this while you're hurting inside, but have enough strength to at least talk about that hurt.

You are incredibly privileged if you've never felt the pain of losing a loved one. And if you have, remember the grace people gave you.

Why do you insist on forcing what you believe onto others? Is that truly your intention?
 
MagNorthDigital said:
Bru no. Imagine I quote the Bhagavad Gita to you. Telling you to not get angry when I refer to you as purely Atman with not a shred of Brahman shining through.

And then tell you not misinterpreted being called your base primitive human self.

All of this while you're hurting inside, but have enough strength to at least talk about that hurt.

You are incredibly privileged if you've never felt the pain of losing a loved one. And if you have, remember the grace people gave you.

Why do you insist on forcing what you believe onto others? Is that truly your intention?
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You had me at "Bru".

I didn't read anything after that.
 
pinball wizard said:
You had me at "Bru".

I didn't read anything after that.
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Now who is acting like a child, plugging your ears and closing your eyes.

Okay, let's try again. Maybe this time I address you correctly.

Adhama no. Imagine I quote the Bhagavad Gita to you. Telling you to not get angry when I refer to you as purely Atman with not a shred of Brahman shining through. And then tell you not misinterpreted being called your base primitive human self. All of this while you're hurting inside, but have enough strength to at least talk about that hurt. You are incredibly privileged if you've never felt the pain of losing a loved one. And if you have, remember the grace people gave you.

Why do you insist on forcing what you believe onto others? Is that truly your intention?
 
pinball wizard said:
You had me at "Bru".

I didn't read anything after that.
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Still no reply? Here's some quotes from the book you punch so hard. Maybe instead of throwing it at other people you should take a lesson from it.

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." - Colossians 3:12

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
 
Strength to you OP!

The whole idea of "God" being a personal God, listening to at least 7 billion prayers and making individual decisions in your life etc is quite ridiculous, to say the least.

There's one bit of scripture(not Christian) that always inspires me..

"Let a man lift himself up by himself, for this self alone stands as your own best friend or worst enemy"

In other words, find the strength and correct mindset within you to overcome this...
 
pinball wizard said:
1 Corinthians 13:11 was written explicitly for you.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I assume in your childish way you will misinterpret it and get angry.
Click to expand...
So true. The mind is innocent, carried along in the wind as it learns about what this life is about.

Free yourself from being an adult every once in a while. It's the easiest way to see God all around you.
 
A Zen Master was once asked: "What is the mind of a child?"

He replied: "A ball floating in a river."
 
Sinbad said:
Way too ****en close
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I think of the OP's comment was the reason I left religious identity behind. I can stand someone with a reasonable degree of being an intolerant ******* but when you combine it with the blind self delusion that they are "the way and the light" then I'm out.

The older I get more I realize the best judge of character is basic empathy for yourself, empathy for others and a measure self awareness. Even though all major religions and many philosophies are mostly aligned here it's amazing how few of their adherents follow the basics of their own philosophies
 
Tim_vb said:
I think of the OP's comment was the reason I left religious identity behind. I can stand someone with a reasonable degree of being an intolerant ******* but when you combine it with the blind self delusion that they are "the way and the light" then I'm out.

The older I get more I realize the best judge of character is basic empathy for yourself, empathy for others and a measure self awareness. Even though all major religions and many philosophies are mostly aligned here it's amazing how few of their adherents follow the basics of their own philosophies
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I have two measures:
How you behave when no one is watching
How you treat people who have no power over you/nothing to offer you. Especially with reference to the 1st measure.
 
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