Parenting failure

Carol don't give up on him. My eldest son also got expelled from school when he was 15 (not a boarding school) - not for anything else than being a complete pain in the butt - you would tell him to do one thing & he would do completly the opposite - due to circumstances at the time him and his brother were in boarding school for a year when they were in primary school - I think that messed him up & he was acting out. Anyhow I managed to get him into another school that didn't stand for any trouble & I think him being expelled gave him the fright of his life. He is now 30 & extremely successful married & lives overseas & loves his mom :D
 
Cius said:
Well, its been a week, any updates on the situation Carol?
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Hey yes, I was going to update!

He is coming home on the weekend. School is not happening due to various reasons. And I'm not going to attempt to find another school for the last term. We are at peace with all this now, thanks to some terrific advice in this thread I know what I need to do for these next few months, reconnect with him, lay down a solid foundation at home among some other things....we will regroup in December to find the way forward next year( college/trade school etc). I'm glad he is coming home, we do miss him but I will not deny the fact that we are terribly disappointed he will not be completing high school however, I also know its not the end of the world.

He is heart broken to be leaving(partly because there is a girl involved too), is incredibly sorry and was full of tears and promises this morning but there was nothing we could do after all was said and done. I'm almost relieved that I won't ever have to deal with a school principle about bad behavior again.

Seriously, I just want to thank everyone again for their comments and for sharing their own stories, was difficult to respond to each and everyone but I did take note and read them all. I will probably update when I know the way forward. I want him and us to be sure before moving forward again cos I don't want any more stuff ups lol.

Ps: I have told him when he comes home, he isn't sitting at home tanning and staring in the mirror, he must go get a job for a few months to get a taste for the real world. I think that's the right thing to do for now, but I'm also afraid that will make him lazy to continue his studies next year???
 
I.am.Sam said:
didnt carol find her kid with pRon

if it has been mentioned then move along
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Wasnt really pRon but yes I did and really, if I had never found him with it, I would actually start to worry. He is a teenager! And it was actually a national geographic haha :p
 
Carol35 said:
Hey yes, I was going to update!

He is coming home on the weekend. School is not happening due to various reasons. And I'm not going to attempt to find another school for the last term.
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Mind me asking the reasons behind this?
 
@Carol.

I hope you will find peace from here on and I pray the lad had a good life lesson and that would be that small things in the negative can damage your chances in life and screw up your future. I'ts just not worth it in the end. Hope he will turn around for the best. Good luck.
 
Pho3nix said:
Mind me asking the reasons behind this?
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School was pretty adamant about him not returning, suspend him until formal expulsion ( he has reached the maximum tier of points for misdemeanors/bad behavior and the rest.) Also, we could find no one to accommodate him for the remainder of the term in the town, one of his friends parents seemed keen but when it came to the crunch, she wasn't sure...her boy is in matric and she was worried it would be a distraction. I don't blame her and its a huge thing to ask of anyone. Anyhow, in light of the schools absolute refusal, I'm inclined to believe that there may be more that has happened over the years that my mom may not have told me. He has apparently been given more than one "last chance to prove himself". That's why I actually just want him to come home, we need to reclaim some form of control as his parents. It's been incredibly distressing and I felt totally humiliated as a parent but as soon as I told my mom he must come home, I felt ok, better than I have in days. It's going to be ok! :)
 
Carol35 said:
School was pretty adamant about him not returning, suspend him until formal expulsion ( he has reached the maximum tier of points for misdemeanors/bad behavior and the rest.) Also, we could find no one to accommodate him for the remainder of the term in the town, one of his friends parents seemed keen but when it came to the crunch, she wasn't sure...her boy is in matric and she was worried it would be a distraction. I don't blame her and its a huge thing to ask of anyone. Anyhow, in light of the schools absolute refusal, I'm inclined to believe that there may be more that has happened over the years that my mom may not have told me. He has apparently been given more than one "last chance to prove himself". That's why I actually just want him to come home, we need to reclaim some form of control as his parents. It's been incredibly distressing and I felt totally humiliated as a parent but as soon as I told my mom he must come home, I felt ok, better than I have in days. It's going to be ok! :)
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:) Was just wondering. Hope all goes well and please do give us feedback.
Always great to see parents that actually care about their kids.
 
Seriously said:
@Carol.

I hope you will find peace from here on and I pray the lad had a good life lesson and that would be that small things in the negative can damage your chances in life and screw up your future. I'ts just not worth it in the end. Hope he will turn around for the best. Good luck.
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Thanks so so much, and Pho3nix!

Also, Soultax, Electric and Madaboutbullies for sharing...everyone else too (haha, feel like I'm giving a Oscar speech and going to forget someone!)
 
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