Pleasing a woman

<insert-emo-username> said:
Ignorance would have prevented me from asking. Educate me wise elder.

OP was kept short to get to the matter at hand. I tried everything I know after years of experience and I was still left dumbfounded. Not Mandingo but I definitely do not use the same tricks for every woman. They are different but even still I could not get her to climax.
Looking to enhance my outlook and thus I am asking if anyone has advice. Don't be a dick bro. Help or GTFO thread.
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Not being a dick. You want detailed advice but are too lazy to provide detailed info (could be the problem). You deserve to get what you put in. Innuendo intended, naturally.
 
Datura said:
Not being a dick. You want detailed advice but are too lazy to provide detailed info (could be the problem). You deserve to get what you put in. Innuendo intended, naturally.
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You could have simply asked for a blow by blow of what happened during the evening. Ask and you shall receive.

Drinks were drank.
Went up-stairs for massage.
Got a strip-tease.
Fore-play.
Was handsy.
She gave me a full-body massage.
The main-event.
Dissappointment.
Shame.
Drive back home.
 
<insert-emo-username> said:
You could have simply asked for a blow by blow of what happened during the evening. Ask and you shall receive.

Drinks were drank. check
Went up-stairs for massage. check
Got a strip-tease. check
Fore-play. check
Was handsy. check
She gave me a full-body massage. WTF?? after being handsy? that's the foreplay ruined

The main-event.
Dissappointment.
Shame.
Drive back home.
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You should have gone from handsy to balls deep my friend.
Oh and no where in that sentence does it say you went down on her?

I'm guessing she has to do all the work?
 
Electric said:
You should have gone from handsy to balls deep my friend.
Oh and no where in that sentence does it say you went down on her?

I'm guessing she has to do all the work?
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She wanted to be handsy with me. Some oral play from her end too. Didn't seem right to refuse.
She said she wasn't a fan of receiving oral so it was excluded.
 
<insert-emo-username> said:
You could have simply asked for a blow by blow of what happened during the evening. Ask and you shall receive.

Drinks were drank. - Prolonged orgasm from your side. Fscks up performance considerably. Alcohol really leaves a lot missing in translation when it comes to the intimacy and physical communication.
Went up-stairs for massage. - Can be a turn off if you don't know what your partner wants. Usually a win thoug. So, benefit of the doubt given, nothing wrong.
Got a strip-tease. - Not sure what to make of this. Could add triviality to the encounter.
Fore-play. - See response to massage
Was handsy. - Should bloody hope so
She gave me a full-body massage. - May not have been a turn on for her. Foreplay should have come after this I reckon.
The main-event. IMO all of the above should have been considered the main even. Semantics, I guess.
Dissappointment. - Try again
Shame. - NEVER!!!!
Drive back home. - Why? Would you have stayed if she had climaxed?
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Better?
 
<insert-emo-username> said:
She wanted to be handsy with me. Some oral play from her end too. Didn't seem right to refuse.
She said she wasn't a fan of receiving oral so it was excluded.
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Maybe she was a man before the OP and still need to go back to get her g-spot sorted out.
 
Electric said:
You both don't sound like your were comfortable with each other.
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It was our first time together. I was a little nervous. Assume she was too.

Datura said:
Better?
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Had a early meeting this morning and wanted to prep at my house. She knew I would be leaving at 4am.
Prop right about getting massage after I was handsy.

Thanks for the constructive criticism.
 
I have no advice but had to say thanks for the entertainment this stuff is like soaps without the strange close up shots.
 
Op, this brings me back to my original statement.
1 in the stink and one in the pink.

If you nor she wants any of the above then you need to chill in the bedroom and just enjoy each other.
 
If ever in doubt, remember these timeless words of wisdom:





Up the bum no babies.
 
buy a russian mail order bride or 2 online. stop wasting your time with these fem-man-girl actions
 
RedWill said:
Hope this thread has a happy ending.

Cause the OP sure didn't.
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The thing is, he did accoring to this story.
I am beggining to realise that the issue was not with the resulting deposit but possibly with a premature deposit in the money box?
Hence the shame in op's reaccounting of the tail.
 
Electric said:
The thing is, he did accoring to this story.
I am beggining to realise that the issue was not with the resulting deposit but possibly with a premature deposit in the money box?
Hence the shame in op's reaccounting of the tail.
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Didn't think it would be possible to have a happy ending when you have a pinkie finger flopping around in a wizard's sleeve
 
Electric said:
The thing is, he did accoring to this story.
I am beggining to realise that the issue was not with the resulting deposit but possibly with a premature deposit in the money box?
Hence the shame in op's reaccounting of the tail.
Click to expand...

<insert-emo-username> said:
No. I did not climax.
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He says he didn't.... which places the spotlight squarely back on his winkie...Stage fright that just ruined the evening for everyone perhaps?
 
RedWill said:
He says he didn't.... which places the spotlight squarely back on his winkie...Stage fright that just ruined the evening for everyone perhaps?
Click to expand...

The sight of the enormous cavern caused the hotdog to shrink?

OP, watch this. It will rekindle your desire.
 
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