Rebuilding Trust

I think Wife and her BOB are going to derail this thread. Sorry Acid.

Now, wife, spill it...
 
Wife said:
That's not my intention... Acid has a problem and he needs advice. I've given up on my problem and have made alternative arrangements.
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Pics please. Is your BOB The Rabbit?

Maybe you and Acid should.... no, that's a terrible idea.
 
Sorry Acid ..your SO has issues thats about it ..if she cant get over it ..doubt she will ever ..cause she will always make comparisons and you will never win

back to wife ..so yeah wife tell us more
 
Yeah, Acid. Just STFU or GTFO, that's how women are. My wife's the same
 
OP: The way you refer to women in the last sentence of your post, shows your exact feelings towards them as a group.

Unless and until you have found professional help in overcoming your feelings of hostility towards females, you will never have a successful relationship.

I would also advise women not to get involved with you, because of the hostility you hide just beneath the surface.

:)
 
Geriatrix said:
Women do this, get used to it. Weather the storm and pleasant weather will follow.
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Just remember women are from mars and men from Venus or some thing like that .
Get used to it :D
There will always be some thing on their radar.
 
blunomore said:
OP: The way you refer to women in the last sentence of your post, shows your exact feelings towards them as a group.

Unless and until you have found professional help in overcoming your feelings of hostility towards females, you will never have a successful relationship.

I would also advise women not to get involved with you, because of the hostility you hide just beneath the surface.

:)
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+1
 
Sometimes we think that offering up all the extra details about our past proves we're committed but all it does is mess up the other person's mind (especially if there're underlying mental issues). I made that mistake and never will ever again.

Things that were told in confidence are always brought up and I've been threatened they'll be exposed when we're fighting. So, too much info isn't always a good thing
 
AcidRaZor said:
<Frustrating situation>
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Unfortunately there is nothing you can say that will ease her mind until she chooses to ease it herself. I have been on the giving and receiving end of this situation so I know a thing or two about it.

I dont know the full details here. A few things need to be figured out here.
I've gone through every minute detail with her.
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Is this a case of her asking for details on things that are now haunting her, or that you have explained a story down to the minutest detail and she still doesn't believe you.

Case one: She asked for it, you reluctantly gave it. Tell her that it was her choice to get the details and now she has to find a way to sort that out in her own mind. If those details brought out insecurities in her, do your best to uplift her in those areas.
Case two: She doesn't trust or believe you at face value. This is un-fixable. If you have done something in the past to break her trust, then its on you to accept that you broke it and it wont get fixed. If not, then it is on you to realise that she just wont trust you and it probably wont work out.

If she loves you a lot, and she has the maturity to understand herself enough, she can find a way to get past it and push it down, over time it becomes a tiny voice instead of a fog horn in her mind.

Only you know the details of what has upset her. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Dont view the situation from her point of view with your mind, try your best to do it from her mind, to the point that you get upset about whatever it is that she is upset about. Then you can try to target that insecurity and buffer it as often as possible. Its a long road most likely. Good luck with it.
 
Wtf is it with this forum that the moment there is a relationship issue, everyone seems to want to throw in the towel?!

Some things are worth fighting for. Sometimes it's not worth walking away until you know you have given it everything you've got. People can change. Things can get better. And last, but certainly not least, wounds CAN heal if you care for them properly.

This seemingly macho attitude of STFU or GTFO is bollocks. Have a bit of sensitivity and patience. You may not get what she's struggling with and you may not like how she's dealing with it but sometimes you just have to try be supportive instead of being stubborn. The only thing that will get you is single.

And before anybody calls me naive or just a romantic little girl with her head in the clouds, I'm speaking from personal experience, not just thumb sucking rainbows and candyfloss.
 
mooks said:
Wtf is it with this forum that the moment there is a relationship issue, everyone seems to want to throw in the towel?!
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OP made it quite clear that he was not throwing in the towel.
 
<still waiting for someone to quote Voicy>

Return the cold shoulder, you can train humans like you would a dog. If the cold shoulder doesn't work, get a spray bottle.
 
If it's that same girl that's always been giving him hassles, he'd best leave her.
 
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