guest2013-1
guest
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2003
- Messages
- 19,800
- Reaction score
- 13
Okay so this is getting to be a bit annoying. I've been getting the cold shoulder this week for some unknown reason, I took it in stride and didn't let it bother me TOO much, but eventually this morning I asked whats wrong because things have been awesome the last few months except for a few hiccups that doesn't even make my "radar" of what I consider to be a fight.
I get the answer "It's stupid" and then "Don't want to tell you because you'll get upset"
Thank God she didn't say the latter BEFORE "It's stupid" because my damaged brain would immediately have jumped to "she cheated" and/or "has found someone else and want to end things" conclusions.
What I found though is that she's mad at me AGAIN about things (I thought) we handled/settled/moved on from the past. She said the fact that it bugs her means we never really sorted it out and never WILL. Even though I was 120% honest with her and spent several hours talking about it / going through the events that did happen in the past that makes her not trust me. (No I didn't cheat and some of it actually happened while we both were seeing other people, we've been friends for almost a decade and only in the last couple of years have confessed our love for each other/started seeing each other as more than friends even though we both found we liked each other way before then)
Now, granted, I'm less upset/worked up about it because what she did the entire week made me way more upset/worked up than what has come to light, my question now is, how to handle this?
How the hell do you work on trust if she's unwilling to ever let go of the past even though I've gone through every minute detail with her... so much so that she ended up saying something like "Maybe it's just how I remembered it then". I mean I had cold-hard-****ing-facts (not just a he-said / she-said scenario). I was really sincere, really honest and I thought she was able to move on from that and focus on the present/future. I'm even giving her her own set of keys/security tag to my new place so she can come and go as she please, when she pleases etc.
I really want her to be happy, and for the most part we are, but then something sparks this again and everything appears to fall apart ALL over again. I don't want to go through all the effort of putting her mind at ease, knowing full well something might spark her low(ish) self-esteem and make her think the past is repeating itself.
Any advice? (and no, I refuse to even considering letting her go and moving on)
I'm thinking I should leave her alone till she gets to grips with whatever she's struggling with, as much as I struggle sometimes internally as well when she does things like this to convince myself she's NOT like the other whores of my past.
How?!
I get the answer "It's stupid" and then "Don't want to tell you because you'll get upset"
Thank God she didn't say the latter BEFORE "It's stupid" because my damaged brain would immediately have jumped to "she cheated" and/or "has found someone else and want to end things" conclusions.
What I found though is that she's mad at me AGAIN about things (I thought) we handled/settled/moved on from the past. She said the fact that it bugs her means we never really sorted it out and never WILL. Even though I was 120% honest with her and spent several hours talking about it / going through the events that did happen in the past that makes her not trust me. (No I didn't cheat and some of it actually happened while we both were seeing other people, we've been friends for almost a decade and only in the last couple of years have confessed our love for each other/started seeing each other as more than friends even though we both found we liked each other way before then)
Now, granted, I'm less upset/worked up about it because what she did the entire week made me way more upset/worked up than what has come to light, my question now is, how to handle this?
How the hell do you work on trust if she's unwilling to ever let go of the past even though I've gone through every minute detail with her... so much so that she ended up saying something like "Maybe it's just how I remembered it then". I mean I had cold-hard-****ing-facts (not just a he-said / she-said scenario). I was really sincere, really honest and I thought she was able to move on from that and focus on the present/future. I'm even giving her her own set of keys/security tag to my new place so she can come and go as she please, when she pleases etc.
I really want her to be happy, and for the most part we are, but then something sparks this again and everything appears to fall apart ALL over again. I don't want to go through all the effort of putting her mind at ease, knowing full well something might spark her low(ish) self-esteem and make her think the past is repeating itself.
Any advice? (and no, I refuse to even considering letting her go and moving on)
I'm thinking I should leave her alone till she gets to grips with whatever she's struggling with, as much as I struggle sometimes internally as well when she does things like this to convince myself she's NOT like the other whores of my past.
How?!
