Relationships and Marriage

Pho3nix

Pho3nix

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Evening Guys,

I was wondering.. just how important is it to get that deep, meaningfull, "down to the tip off your toes" relationship with your wife or girlfriend? If you are currently in a relationship and you don't have that but deeply love your partner but yet still don't have that.. would you look elsewhere trying to find it? Do you tell you partner?

Now further on.. if you find this relationship with someone else and your currently involved, talking marriage would you stop the current relationship and try this new thing out?

Would like opinions from both sides of the fence ie. If you answer, please answer it as both the person looking for that something.. and as the person who doesnn't have that with their partner.

Is Love really all you need?
 
Pho3nix said:
I was wondering.. just how important is it to get that deep, meaningfull, "down to the tip off your toes" relationship with your wife or girlfriend? If you are currently in a relationship and you don't have that but deeply love your partner but yet still don't have that.. would you look elsewhere trying to find it? Do you tell you partner?

Now further on.. if you find this relationship with someone else and your currently involved, talking marriage would you stop the current relationship and try this new thing out?
Click to expand...

Personally, I feel that the "tip of your toes" part is indeed rather important. Well... to me it is. And I consider myself very lucky to have found it.
Should you tell your partner? Yes. Any marriage is bound by mutual respect. If you do not respect your partner enough to let them know if your relationship is in danger, then you really shouldn't be together at all.

Give up on your current for the other? I don't know.
There is no right or wrong answer here. Someone is gonna get hurt either way...
 
Yeah great idea - let me translate that for you...

Go tell your wife that you are bored with the relationship, that their is a hot piece of ass at work that you are dying to bang the **** out of, but you still love her so much - that will go down well as you're not getting any loving from fantasy girl and your marriage will go down the toilet.

What you can do is just go cheat on your wife like you've been thinking about, and then afterwards kill yourself with self doubt, loathing and guilt - and then the marriage can go down the toilet anyway.

Good luck there bro!
 
After some good sex (with YOUR partner), you have to

1) become the best of friends
2) find common interest/hobbies
3) find things you can do apart
 
Lol, Im not married guys, jsut wondering as I think I'm going through the same thing with my GF.
 
I really don't see the point of being in a relationship long term if you don't feel that way. Being in a mediocre relationship while you look for something better is a dick move. Even if you're honest with your partner and they feel the same way, staying together seems a bit sad and cowardly. I'd move on.
 
What happens when you have that but the "concentration" of that feeling is stronger with someone else?
When do you stop looking else where for something better?
 
Pho3nix said:
What happens when you have that but the "concentration" of that feeling is stronger with someone else?
When do you stop looking else where for something better?
Click to expand...

Dude, Im guessing you've never really been head over heals for someone before. If you're never felt it for the person you're with you shouldn't be with them, period.
 
Dude, go find out what love is. It's not about you and your selfish feelings that comes and goes with the wind. Imagine you have kids: you think you're gonna feel like being daddy everyday? Love = maturity. Let go off you're silly fantasies.
 
At our core humans are instinctual animals too. We're not really mean't to be monogamous no matter what anyone tells you. Marriage and relationships (in the traditional sense) are made up ideas to keep someone stuck to one other person.

The proof: you see a good looking girl, you want to hump the **** out of her, and vice versa. Why do so many marriages fail? same reason.

You may say oh but marriages and relationships used to work so well, look at my grandparents, they are still married after 40-60 years.
The fact is that cheating and divorce used to be heavily frowned upon back in the day. If you were caught cheating you were known for it in the community and were labeled a disgrace. Nowadays some people even wear it as a badge of honour. Grandparents used to stick it out because they made a commitment to each other - even if they have been hating each others guts for the last 20 years.

I honestly don't see the merit in marriage and relationships anymore. You are better off staying single and having fun than being locked down.
I'm not saying that relationships and marriage are doomed to fail but in most cases there is just no point - you're more than likely just setting yourself and someone else up for disaster.
 
^^vampire^^ said:
At our core humans are instinctual animals too. We're not really mean't to be monogamous no matter what anyone tells you. Marriage and relationships (in the traditional sense) are made up ideas to keep someone stuck to one other person.

The proof: you see a good looking girl, you want to hump the **** out of her, and vice versa. Why do so many marriages fail? same reason.

You may say oh but marriages and relationships used to work so well, look at my grandparents, they are still married after 40-60 years.
The fact is that cheating and divorce used to be heavily frowned upon back in the day. If you were caught cheating you were known for it in the community and were labeled a disgrace. Nowadays some people even wear it as a badge of honour. Grandparents used to stick it out because they made a commitment to each other - even if they have been hating each others guts for the last 20 years.

I honestly don't see the merit in marriage and relationships anymore. You are better off staying single and having fun than being locked down.
I'm not saying that relationships and marriage are doomed to fail but in most cases there is just no point - you're more than likely just setting yourself and someone else up for disaster.
Click to expand...

i disagree in some ways :)

a kid is going to want a mommy and daddy. sure, a kid just wants love and anyone can fill that void in a child's life, often my son's granny looks after him and he loves her to bits, but it isn't healthy in my opinion for a child to grow up having a warped view of love. but let's say for the sake of it you weren't considering children when you said the above.

i agree with you. nobody listens to one song, nobody eats one food their entire life, nobody drives the same route everyday, but you don't swap your motehr every week, you don't change your brothers and sisters every year, and that is the bond with marriage. you find someone you love, you want to take care of them because you know you're the best person to do it. this isn't movies or books, you can't surprise someone with flowers everyday, it's expensive. you can't wisk them off to paris and live in a honeymoon forever.

it's natural to look at other women and want to shag them. i bet most wives do it too with the guys. everyone wants something new, few people have partners that change their appearance or their lifestyles every month, and this is more a problem with the guy than it would be with the wife - the guy craves something that the wife isn't providing. there are different ways to deal with this, not all of them need to be divorce.

so just my 2c :p
 
Last edited:
satanboy said:
After some good sex (with YOUR partner), you have to

1) become the best of friends
2) find common interest/hobbies
3) find things you can do apart
Click to expand...

I forgot to add this: If your marriage is a bit wonky/rocky don't for a second think that having a baby is going to solve things. It probably will make matters worse.
 
smalltownsky said:
i disagree in some ways :)

a kid is going to want a mommy and daddy. sure, a kid just wants love and anyone can fill that void in a child's life, often my son's granny looks after him and he loves her to bits, but it isn't healthy in my opinion for a child to grow up having a warped view of love. but let's say for the sake of it you weren't considering children when you said the above.

i agree with you. nobody listens to one song, nobody eats one food their entire life, nobody drives the same route everyday, but you don't swap your motehr every week, you don't change your brothers and sisters every year, and that is the bond with marriage. you find someone you love, you want to take care of them because you know you're the best person to do it. this isn't movies or books, you can't surprise someone with flowers everyday, it's expensive. you can't wisk them off to paris and live in a honeymoon forever.

it's natural to look at other women and want to shag them. i bet most wives do it too with the guys. everyone wants something new, few people have partners that change their appearance or their lifestyles every month, and this is more a problem with the guy than it would be with the wife - the guy craves something that the wife isn't providing. there are different ways to deal with this, not all of them need to be divorce.

so just my 2c :p
Click to expand...

I'm referring directly to the 2 people in the realtionship - Man and Woman. Forget the children etc.

At the end of the day people pounce on stupid marriage opportunities. I see idiot kids at 18 and even people in their 30's gettings married because "I love him/her"
Yes sometimes people do really fall in love and they can sustain that for their lifetime but these people are few and very far between. It seems most marriages end in divorce nowadays and that's just the ones that do - how many people are stuck in loveless marriages and haven't divorced yet.

Marriage and in some cases relationships are an outdated ritual that is incompatible with modern day living as we are the instant gratification generation(s).
 
^^vampire^^ said:
I'm referring directly to the 2 people in the realtionship - Man and Woman. Forget the children etc.

At the end of the day people pounce on stupid marriage opportunities. I see idiot kids at 18 and even people in their 30's gettings married because "I love him/her"
Yes sometimes people do really fall in love and they can sustain that for their lifetime but these people are few and very far between. It seems most marriages end in divorce nowadays and that's just the ones that do - how many people are stuck in loveless marriages and haven't divorced yet.

Marriage and in some cases relationships are an outdated ritual that is incompatible with modern day living as we are the instant gratification generation(s).
Click to expand...

Are you currently in a relationship and if not when last were you in a real relationship that lasted for more than 6 months ?

I have met quite a few people in my life that are just as against marriage as you are, but most of the time they are single and or have never been in a serious relationship.

Its like some guys that stay single because they want to have a lot of sex. At the end of the day the guy that is in a relationship will get more sex than the single guy :p
 
Pho3nix said:
Evening Guys,

I was wondering.. just how important is it to get that deep, meaningfull, "down to the tip off your toes" relationship with your wife or girlfriend? If you are currently in a relationship and you don't have that but deeply love your partner but yet still don't have that.. would you look elsewhere trying to find it? Do you tell you partner?

Now further on.. if you find this relationship with someone else and your currently involved, talking marriage would you stop the current relationship and try this new thing out?

Would like opinions from both sides of the fence ie. If you answer, please answer it as both the person looking for that something.. and as the person who doesnn't have that with their partner.

Is Love really all you need?
Click to expand...

Lovely thread.

I believe that a sustainable long term relationship/marriage involves full disclosure/ honesty,and as ICE-T put it:
If your man wants you to put on a latex outfit ,do it, its his thing or something like that...

I have been married for nearly 3 years and we are together a total of 12 years.(age 30 and 27 respectively)
Marriage wasn't important but we did it because it has its benefits in the law,and we were like a married couple anyways.



I discovered that i have a fetish(Its weird but perfectly legal don't worry:D) this year and i can honesty say it has really spiced up our relationship because my needs being met resulted in me being a better/more thoughtful and caring lover and because i opened up fully to my wife, i gained respect.

Compromise and mutual respect is also essential as well as quality time spent with your partner.
Time that you WANT to spend with her by going on regular date nights or just hanging out.

We are bunny rabbits and proud of it,although we have our ups and downs but i believe that the longer you know somebody the more comfortable and intimately you get to know somebody,the more freedom you get to explore each others sexuality.

Imagine the same intercourse with the same person for the rest of your life!

If it sounds bad it probably will be and having kids certainly wont improve your relationship with each other if its getting stale.

The moral of the story is that monogamy(in most instances a lifetime relationship) is only truly possible if both partners sexual needs are met as true love(not lust) will develop into friendship as you reach the twilight years.
The real challenge is remaining truly happy and content with all the temptation out there while you-re still young,because you only live once.....

Keep it kinky and explore!:p
 
DigitalSoldier said:
Are you currently in a relationship and if not when last were you in a real relationship that lasted for more than 6 months ?

I have met quite a few people in my life that are just as against marriage as you are, but most of the time they are single and or have never been in a serious relationship.

Its like some guys that stay single because they want to have a lot of sex. At the end of the day the guy that is in a relationship will get more sex than the single guy :p
Click to expand...

I'm currently in a realationship which has been ongoing for 2 years. I'm not necesssarily against marriage but in my opinion it's almost become an obsolete idea because of the way people behave nowadays with their lack of respect and non-commitment coupled with the fact that so many marriages are now ending in divorce or people staying married but being miserable.
 
^^vampire^^ said:
I'm currently in a realationship which has been ongoing for 2 years. I'm not necesssarily against marriage but in my opinion it's almost become an obsolete idea because of the way people behave nowadays with their lack of respect and non-commitment coupled with the fact that so many marriages are now ending in divorce or people staying married but being miserable.
Click to expand...

Marriage or living together there is no difference, just a piece of paper.
 
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