Selfish father-in-law

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Regular forumite here. Throwaway account.

I am just so pissed. My SO and I have begun thinking about our possible emigration. I have acquired a job offer in Canada.
The father-in-law says "No" to my wife.

Now I don't speak to them often. But what in the actual f**k is "No" supposed to mean.
I didn't ask him, I told her to tell them.

Multiple issues I have here:
1. Who in the actual f**k are you to say no to me.
2. Why the actual f**k should I stay here if possibilities are there for me to move.
3. I didn't actually f**kn ask you, my wife TOLD you.
4. My wife now is siding with you and evaluating your reasons for not f**kn going.
5. I'm glad I don't stay in the same f**kn city as you.

Anybody got any advice for me before I lose my **** totally with this ou. Half way there.

Or, advice to discuss this issue with him calmly once I've calmed down.

Rant over.
 
Hence me saying I don't speak to them often. Because of **** like this.
 
Did you consult the move to Canada with your SO? She seemed to go to her dad to receive his advise on you wanting to move, otherwise she wouldn't use his reasons to evaluate your reasons. I guess you two are arguing over this?

Thinking about moving and acquiring a position over there is not the same thing. For me it seems she is still thinking about and evaluating her own options and situation.

Can you two move on your own to Canada or do you need her dad's 'support' in doing so?
 
Kosmik said:
Firstly, ask your wife what her concerns are and work through them. Because her dad said so doesn't count. And then if you both want to go, then go.

If she doesn't, then you two need to have a serious chat about your relationship and future together.
Click to expand...

I understand, it's a big move, concerns that every other emigrant would have, for example leaving family behind, logistics, etc. Those are mine also, but does not mean I should forsake an opportunity.

Also, is it fair to say we need to have a "serious chat" if "she doesn't" as per your advice?
I'm trying to see why would I feel the need to be entitled. We're married and shouldn't I respect her decision in not wanting to go?
Obviously I will talk to her but just not sure about "having a serious chat" just for choosing differently.
 
Fulcrum29 said:
Did you consult the move to Canada with your SO? She seemed to go to her dad to receive his advise on you wanting to move, otherwise she wouldn't use his reasons to evaluate your reasons. I guess you two are arguing over this?

Thinking about moving and acquiring a position over there is not the same thing. For me it seems she is still thinking about and evaluating her own options and situation.

Can you two move on your own to Canada or do you need her dad's 'support' in doing so?
Click to expand...

Yea she obviously knew I've been applying etc.
Though we both didn't think any of it until an interview came about, and then an offer.

That's when we decided to tell the in-laws. She didn't go to him, she phoned to tell him the news.
She's been neutral all along purely because she didn't think about it been a possibility. I on the other hand have done much more research etc. and know it's what i want. Don't think she has thought through it all. We're not really arguing about it. I still think she's neutral towards the decision but the pos is feeding her negative reasons.

I do not need any support. I just said phone and tell them that I've got an offer.
 
If she doesn't want to go - divorce her, or stay.
 
But on a serious note, you and your wife need to be on the same page about moving and if you decide to go, then chat to your father-in-law again. By then the news would of sunk in and you're a lot calmer. Listen to his concerns and tell him you've taken it into consideration, but you and your wife are firmly decided on the move and that you believe its right thing to do. And if does the "No" thing again, just deflect it by affirming his concern and reiterate that you and your wife are decided on the matter.
 
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