Serious problem, messing up the relationship

JamesX said:
20

Well I had low self esteem long time ago... I know it's not guilt.. and I don't think low sex drive.
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Maybe it's something to do with the girl, if something small puts you off you will be unable to come (in my experience at least)
 
D3x! said:
but seriously seems like you have desensitized yourself from wacking it off watching pron all the time
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Nah I don't think it's that. I've been whacking off to porn since I was like 14 and don't have a problem, and I'm sure the same goes for many guys.

It seems like it's all in his head (the top one ofc), he's thinking too much instead of just relaxing and enjoying it. He needs to find something to keep his mind off those thoughts and maybe get turned on. Maybe thinking something like "omg I'm seeing this girl naked and it's something nobody else gets to see (hopefully)" would help calm him down and turn him on.
 
@op , if you have been whacking off to gay porn and are now trying it on with the girls, there could be other issues at stake :D

Jokes aside, performance anxiety, can play a major part in your ability to function decently.
 
Nanfeishen said:
@op , if you have been whacking off to gay porn and are now trying it on with the girls, there could be other issues at stake :D

Jokes aside, performance anxiety, can play a major part in your ability to function decently.
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Or maybe normal porn but he's looking at the guys chain?
 
First off, who the hell has the lights OFF when they do it?

I tried once but it sucked balls. LIGHTS ON.

Secondly, if you're hard then why the hell does it matter if you cum or not? Just **** her till she doesn't want to anymore. I would give my left AND right kidney to be able NOT to cum but stay hard.... yes I know I'll die but the sex I'll have would be incredible.

Thirdly, it's a new relationship. You 2 haven't yet found what works for you. Experiment and fool around. That's what it's about. Again, SO WHAT if you can't cum. You having fun? Did she cum at least? Cause if she didn't you should rather be focusing on HER pleasure and HER needs instead of wondering why you didn't cum.

Fourthly, fake it. Yes, men can fake it. Sure the "evidence" won't be there but if you're inside her (and I assume you're dumb enough to not use condoms like most people who constantly and only jack off to porn), then just go through the motions as if you did. That's to say if making you cum is her #1 priority and barometer to how well the relationship is going and how happy you two are.

50c, stop masturbating to porn sitting upright. Try using your damn imagination. Hell, even talk to your new lady saying you think you did that for too long and now you have a problem climaxing.

Personally though, if you didn't cum from a blowie AND a handjob, maybe try closing your eyes thinking of porn or a more beautiful girl? Assuming she's not pretty of course. Other than that, maybe her blowjobs/handjobs need some work? In any case. My priority is always with the woman. If I never cum ever again then that's fine, but I'm sure as hell going to try my best in giving her a couple of orgasms. Focus on that.

FYI. Real sex <> porn sex. Porn stars ACT. Yes they do. YES dude, they do. THEY DO, SHUT THE **** UP. Once you realize that then you can start going back to the real thing.
 
OP, you said that you did everything but sex.
Maybe her techniques aren't quite in line with what gets you off... even though you tried doing it yourself the 'stage fright' pressure may have been putting you off.

Have you had sex with her yet?
 
JamesX said:
I got to mention the last time we did it it wasn't that dark, I just couldn't see her "bits" since it was covered (There were people around).
First time, it was dark, no one around.
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The pressure is on.

I agree with the baby oil idea. :D
 
Put the lights on :p , if that doesnt work just give her plenty of orgasms. Hopefully if your mind is not focused on yours ...it will come naturally
 
Its easy... chill off the porn and faps for a bit. 4 days is nothing...


Also you need to learn how to be fapped by some one else. Let go... relax take some pressure off her too.

There is this lube made by durex... they make a few. Try those for sex as well.
 
Missed the part about the dark - seriously, turn on the lights you morons :p Even if it's to a dim level, or you just light candles. The visual stimulation helps.

If either of you are self-conscious about your bodies then you'll need to get over it. The thing to realise is that every other man and woman has the same bits and pieces that the two of you do, so nobody cares how yours looks.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
Missed the part about the dark - seriously, turn on the lights you morons :p Even if it's to a dim level, or you just light candles. The visual stimulation helps.

If either of you are self-conscious about your bodies then you'll need to get over it. The thing to realise is that every other man and woman has the same bits and pieces that the two of you do, so nobody cares how yours looks.
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Hehe. Otherwise you might as well be bangin' a pie under the sheets. If you can't see it, it doesn't matter who/what it is. :D
 
Mbuzi said:
Maybe she doesn't turn you on :whistle: or maybe the s3x is boring.
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It's not that, when we kiss and caress each other I get a hard on.
AcidRaZor said:
First off, who the hell has the lights OFF when they do it?

I tried once but it sucked balls. LIGHTS ON.

Secondly, if you're hard then why the hell does it matter if you cum or not? Just **** her till she doesn't want to anymore. I would give my left AND right kidney to be able NOT to cum but stay hard.... yes I know I'll die but the sex I'll have would be incredible.

Thirdly, it's a new relationship. You 2 haven't yet found what works for you. Experiment and fool around. That's what it's about. Again, SO WHAT if you can't cum. You having fun? Did she cum at least? Cause if she didn't you should rather be focusing on HER pleasure and HER needs instead of wondering why you didn't cum.

Fourthly, fake it. Yes, men can fake it. Sure the "evidence" won't be there but if you're inside her (and I assume you're dumb enough to not use condoms like most people who constantly and only jack off to porn), then just go through the motions as if you did. That's to say if making you cum is her #1 priority and barometer to how well the relationship is going and how happy you two are.

50c, stop masturbating to porn sitting upright. Try using your damn imagination. Hell, even talk to your new lady saying you think you did that for too long and now you have a problem climaxing.

Personally though, if you didn't cum from a blowie AND a handjob, maybe try closing your eyes thinking of porn or a more beautiful girl? Assuming she's not pretty of course. Other than that, maybe her blowjobs/handjobs need some work? In any case. My priority is always with the woman. If I never cum ever again then that's fine, but I'm sure as hell going to try my best in giving her a couple of orgasms. Focus on that.

FYI. Real sex <> porn sex. Porn stars ACT. Yes they do. YES dude, they do. THEY DO, SHUT THE **** UP. Once you realize that then you can start going back to the real thing.
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Well i can't fake it since we haven't had sex.
My goal is to pleasure her immensely, but then after a while she went down on me and after a while of not coming I felt I needed to do so she won't feel bad, plus I wanted to cum because it's nice. :p
I know they act.
eehellfire said:
OP, you said that you did everything but sex.
Maybe her techniques aren't quite in line with what gets you off... even though you tried doing it yourself the 'stage fright' pressure may have been putting you off.

Have you had sex with her yet?
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I haven't.
Nerfherder said:
Its easy... chill off the porn and faps for a bit. 4 days is nothing...


Also you need to learn how to be fapped by some one else. Let go... relax take some pressure off her too.

There is this lube made by durex... they make a few. Try those for sex as well.
Click to expand...

Where do you get it?
 
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Mike Hoxbig said:
Missed the part about the dark - seriously, turn on the lights you morons :p Even if it's to a dim level, or you just light candles. The visual stimulation helps.

If either of you are self-conscious about your bodies then you'll need to get over it. The thing to realise is that every other man and woman has the same bits and pieces that the two of you do, so nobody cares how yours looks.
Click to expand...

Well I couldn't since the were other people around.
 
Clicks.

There are ones that make you sensitive, or heighten the feeling... makes a normal w1nk feel like sandpaper
 
JamesX said:
Yeah that's most probably the problem... anyway to fix this (besides stop watching, that's obvious)?
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it's not porn or masturbation. it could be, but in most cases it is maybe nerves or the fact that it feels like a chore. is there any kind of porn that you watch? the situations between your visual stimulation and real life sex may differ. also, what appeals to you about porn?
 
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