Sex Addict

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Just to sum up...OP has a problem with sex addiction and a fetish for strangling his wife while having sex (possibly reason for username)...she said that its not normal and wants a divorce...but turns out she was screwing another guy and running to him for sex?

Ok...the strangling bit is a bit odd...though I have heard of people like hanging themselves while fapping (sometimes resulting in accidental death) but cant say ever heard of this one where you want to strangle someone else. OP...are you not scared you go too far and it ends in tragedy? Sorry if this has been asked before...I skimmed thought the thread trying to catch up.

Also...if you are married to a sex addict...why would you possibly need someone else to have sex with?
 
Ockie said:
J
Also...if you are married to a sex addict...why would you possibly need someone else to have sex with?
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You go to someone else for sex that involves intimacy and t.l.c as opposed to sex with a sex addict which involves shame, secrecy, guilt, broken promises, self-loathing, compulsion, powerlessness, etc
 
Bro, PM me her number. Kthx.

Seriously though, this is all really fscking messy, mate. Your fetish is not far out or anything, she is just a cheating lying bitch. Sorry it ended this way for you man. You're a good guy.
 
joelus said:
You go to someone else for sex that involves intimacy and t.l.c as opposed to sex with a sex addict which involves shame, secrecy, guilt, broken promises, self-loathing, compulsion, powerlessness, etc
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Do those things always go hand in hand with a sex addict?
 
Ockie said:
Do those things always go hand in hand with a sex addict?
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Yes. That's the addict part. It's a compulsion, in other words, someone who really wants to stop the sexual behaviour but is unable to do so.

Similarly, Lowinson and colleagues use the addiction model and define sexual addiction as a condition in which some form of sexual behaviour is employed in a pattern that is characterized at least by two key features: recurrent failure to control the behaviour and continuation of the behaviour despite harmful consequences.
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Patrick Carnes, a proponent of the idea of sexual addiction, proposed using:[23]

Recurrent failure (pattern) to resist impulses to engage in acts of sex.
Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent or over a longer period of time than intended.
Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.
Inordinate amount of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience.
Preoccupation with the behavior or preparatory activities.
Frequently engaging in sexual behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligations.
Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, academic, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior.
Need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk of behaviors to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
Resorting to distress, anxiety, restlessness, or violence if unable to engage in the behavior at times relating to SRD (Sexual Rage Disorder).
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_addiction
 
Datura said:
Sounds more like and alcoholic's issues...
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mmm ja. I would be carefull though too if I was dating a sex addict. Dont think I would mind all the sex...but I would be worried that he gonna stick his tottie into anything with a pulse. The strangling fettish. mmmmmm I would have to think very VERY hard about it before letting a person do that to me. Especially if he is bigger and stronger than me. Just now he looses control and fcking kills me!
 
Datura said:
Sounds more like and alcoholic's issues...
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Well they borrowed the addict terminology because the symptoms are similar.
Someone who loves sex and partakes in it regularly but not to the extent that it causes problems in other aspects of their lives is like someone who enjoys drinking and partakes in it regularly but not to the extent that it causes problems in other aspects of their lives - they are not addicts.
The problem is when you try and stop and cannot, despite the negative consequences resulting from the behaviour.
 
Datura said:
Bro, PM me her number. Kthx.

Seriously though, this is all really fscking messy, mate. Your fetish is not far out or anything, she is just a cheating lying bitch. Sorry it ended this way for you man. You're a good guy.
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What makes you think the sex addict is not cheating as well ?????
 
Ockie said:
Just to sum up...OP has a problem with sex addiction and a fetish for strangling his wife while having sex (possibly reason for username)...she said that its not normal and wants a divorce...but turns out she was screwing another guy and running to him for sex?

Ok...the strangling bit is a bit odd...though I have heard of people like hanging themselves while fapping (sometimes resulting in accidental death) but cant say ever heard of this one where you want to strangle someone else. OP...are you not scared you go too far and it ends in tragedy? Sorry if this has been asked before...I skimmed thought the thread trying to catch up.

Also...if you are married to a sex addict...why would you possibly need someone else to have sex with?
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I see you point.If I was a woman and my husband wanted to strangle the living crap out of me while we're making love I'd also run for the hills and possible try to find a "normal" relationship with someone else.

Sure the cheating was wrong, but was the OP willing to compromise and abandon the sick stuff.If the wife enjoyed it then why did she leave/cheat.

maybe the new guy offers her intimacy and affection which was possibly lacking in the marriage.

there's two sides to every strory so maybe the OP should come clean.
 
always prenup boyz :p .... i'd still kick his ass if I was you, might be expensive but sooo worth it
 
MexicanStandoff said:
I see you point.If I was a woman and my husband wanted to strangle the living crap out of me while we're making love I'd also run for the hills and possible try to find a "normal" relationship with someone else.
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Well...not sure if he deserves to be abondoned by his partner because of this fetish. I dont think I would leave my partner because he had this odd fantasy or impulse. It is somethign that would need to be discussed though...and at the end...if my answer is still no...then it is no. I will most likely not sleep with my back to him and with one eye open! lol

There is something about touching, rubbing and squeezing your partners neck while making love...that I have to admit. I enjoyd doing it with my ex ... first time I think I squeezed a bit hard and I could see in his eyes he was very surprized...unsure and a bit apprehensive with my hand there....but the idea was never to strangle ... or even pretend to strangle him...was just nice touching him him there. I think the OP maybe is taking this to a ..... mmmm another level I guess. I just feel it can be very dangerous and someone might get hurt. I have no problem with fetishes...but when there is a potential for someone to get hurt...then I have problem with it.
 
Ockie said:
Well...not sure if he deserves to be abondoned by his partner because of this fetish. I dont think I would leave my partner because he had this odd fantasy or impulse. It is somethign that would need to be discussed though...and at the end...if my answer is still no...then it is no. I will most likely not sleep with my back to him and with one eye open! lol

There is something about touching, rubbing and squeezing your partners neck while making love...that I have to admit. I enjoyd doing it with my ex ... first time I think I squeezed a bit hard and I could see in his eyes he was very surprized...unsure and a bit apprehensive with my hand there....but the idea was never to strangle ... or even pretend to strangle him...was just nice touching him him there. I think the OP maybe is taking this to a ..... mmmm another level I guess. I just feel it can be very dangerous and someone might get hurt. I have no problem with fetishes...but when there is a potential for someone to get hurt...then I have problem with it.
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its not uncommon for people stuck in a loveless, bizarre marriage to slip up and fall for someone who can offer them some decent respect and care.I agree that cheating is wrong but if there's no compromise or escape then what do people do?

I agree that woman are liberated and like it rough with some slapping and squeezing thrown in for good measure but when it becomes an obsession and borders on suffocation and unconsciousness then there's something there.
 
Have any of you ever, erm, gotten carried away and, erm, squeezed to hard and, erm, :cry:
 
MexicanStandoff said:
its not uncommon for people stuck in a loveless, bizarre marriage to slip up and fall for someone who can offer them some decent respect and care.I agree that cheating is wrong but if there's no compromise or escape then what do people do?

I agree that woman are liberated and like it rough with some slapping and squeezing thrown in for good measure but when it becomes an obsession and borders on suffocation and unconsciousness then there's something there.
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Well...problem is we dont know if the OP is a selfish loveless and uncaring bastard???
 
Neck_Monster said:
I found out the reason my wife wanted a divorce yesterday, from the day she let me know she started ****ing that David Icke guy i told you all about. I only found out last night by mistake because she left one message open where she was telling a friend about it.
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Wait what? She ****ed that looney conspiracy theorist guy? How did she even meet him? :wtf:
 
Ockie said:
Ok...the strangling bit is a bit odd...though I have heard of people like hanging themselves while fapping (sometimes resulting in accidental death) but cant say ever heard of this one where you want to strangle someone else. OP...are you not scared you go too far and it ends in tragedy? Sorry if this has been asked before...I skimmed thought the thread trying to catch up.
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That's one of the worst ways to be found dead. Hanging from the door with your pants down and tolly dangling about.
 
buyeye said:
Looney conspiracy theorist is the new sexy, I thought this David Icke guy.was american.
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David Icke is English - was a well-known BBC television sports presenter and spokesman for the Green Party before he discovered that a secret group of reptilian humanoids called the Babylonian Brotherhood controls humanity, and that many prominent figures are reptilian, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie.
 
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