yeah, my perception and fetish growing up has been such a big part of me. i remember being young and being in a religious family how i used to pray to God to make me stop having the kind of dreams i did and to help me with me sick thoughts. this eventualyl led to me being an atheist as i didn't see prayer doing anything.
i also never understood how people could want to go out and get smashed, or why people got so excited over small things. so in a way it contributed to almost my entire outlook on life.
i was proud, but when you have someone you love who doesn't understand you i think it will affect you. i think it would affect most people that i know, not that it's any of their business, but i've never really had a reason to feel proud of it despite how it's made me turn out. i always feel that it will get me fired or stop people from talking to me if they somehow ever found out, so this is how i feel that it's destructive for me
You are not the only person who feels that if somebody found out about ones fetish, people will think differently.
I had somebody on one of my forums commit suicide, because of his fetish.
His wife was ok at first, then she told his entire family.
He came to me for advice and everything was going so good until,he went off the rails, by not finding that balance which i constantly speak about.
I was upset for days after and realized that the only thing one can change is his/her own perception.
I talked my wife about it, and she accepted.
I went to get checked out just to be doubly sure and even the doctor explained the normality of fetishes.
Everybody has secrets, of this im now convinced after what he told me....
Everybody wants to be accepted and when you are a minority(Fetishes are going to be called isolated minority syndrome BTW), you will feel isolated.
However lets put it this way, Hitler had a Coprophillic fetish, along with Mozart.
Ricky Martin is into Water sports and Brangelina(Brad pitt and wife), are also rumored to be into real kinky stuff, and a certain US Republican Senator well.
Lets just say he likes it freaky with Prozzies, even though he is married and is conservative and stuff, being into family values etc...
The complete opposite of what he stands for.
These are a few of many examples i can name.
If most people were truly honest, there would be something about themselves that is different and many do not want to be different so they don't go there.
The point is these people are on top of the food chain, celebs, politicians and geniuses.
I don't judge these people for their fetishes.
Some of them are brilliant, extremely talented and uber famous, so their success is definitely contributed to being different.
Your wife will have to accept you as you are, because you cannot change.
You have to want to, and as i was told sexuality is very different in everybody and you must never apologize for being who you are.
You do have to be responsible though.
Sexual addiction and fetishes are NOT the same, especially if they are practiced between consenting adults a few times a week and the fetish is not exclusive.
Otherwise its perfectly legit and healthy and wont pose a problem unless its always needed daily.
Be confident with your fetish, even though its hard to be different, and perhaps someday you will wake up with a feeling of....
'Im different but its ok, and im happy'
I just don't want you to blame yourself, because its all you know how to be.
I was also religious, until i was in church and i was told not to tolerate homosexuality, which i have no problem with.
Even though technically my fetish is ok because its not written in the bible, i felt that me having a fetish is no different to homosexuality, in that im in the same boat, and would be judged the same or worse...
